citalopram,constant anxiety,depression. will it ever get better?

[dexrated]

HI, I've been taking citilopram for over 10months now i started on 20mg then went to 30mg and have been on 40mg for around 3/4 months. It seemed that they were working really well and i began to feel like the person I used to be once I got used to the horrible side effects.

I am still taking cit on 40mg dose but have hit as low as was before i started taking cit. I have been waking up with intense low mood and just want to go back to sleep because it is my best option. it is really annoying me and cutting into my life like never before as i am unable to sleep at normal times anymore.

I am wanting to know if anyone has had an experience like this experience after taking cit for this long or if they have just run out of steam and no longer working, it then will be a simple case of changing the meds?

[CameronG]

hi everyone. im 25 and in full time work, although ive been off sick for 2 weeks now

im new here, thought maybe posting on here would stop my silly brain from making me sick with anxiety for 5 mins.

Looking back at everything i can now see that i have suffered with anxiety my whole life, but it all came to a head two and a half years ago when i had a massive pannick attack on a holiday. When i got back from the holiday i was put on citalopram, propanolol and diazepam. sadly my dad died about a month later from cancer aswell which had a devestating affect on me.

Any way i found that through cbt and the meds i managed to get better and get my life back, and two years down the line i felt completely better, had moved to the other end of the country for a job promotion,new partner who is fab. life was sweet. So i decided it was time to stop taking the citalopram........... bad choice!!!

About four months after stopping citalopram ive broken down and in style!!

I was on holiday last month, it was the first time i had managed to go on holiday since my original pannick attack, i had developed a bit of a fear of going on holiday because of it. Any way the holiday was going great for the first 4 days but then boom, middle of the night pannick attack in the hotel, why? because i started to get scared thinking, what if i have a pannick attack and ruin the holiday, what if i go mad and throw myself off the balcony? sounds mad i know, it escalated to me being absolutely terrified of throwing myself off the balcony.

Since then ive never recovered.

went back to work, was a bit teary eyed now and then and feeling quite anxious but i coped for about a week.

Then it just got too much.

constant fuzzy head
being sick
constant sore stomach
not eating at all
head wont stop thinking about how im feeling, ever
cant concentrate on anything
constantly aware of my heart beat
constantly anxious, to the point i feel lke my whole body is buzzing with it
no motivation
scared to go out the house
was absolutely terrified i might go mad and hurt someone or myself, horrible thoughts
etc etc etc

back on citalopram 20mg now with propranolol, on day 15. i thought i was seeing an improvement but ive come crashing back down. i feel awfull.

i feel like im stuck in a never ending hell in my own head, like a prison thats stopping me from enjoying or doing anything.

i guess i am noticing a slight improvement with the meds so far but i just want to feel back to normal.

Do they take longer 2nd time round?

im so scared im never going to get better this time round. im meant to be back to work on monday but just the thought is terrifying me.

Anyone know how this all feels?

i guess im just looking for people to reassure me that "it" can be beaten.

i know its a long post but it feels good to write all that down

Grace I think you've just pretty much described me!! Mine all came to ahead whilst in turkey in August 2011, I'd always had anxiety but it didn't impact any of my everyday life at all, I was happy go lucky, never thought twice about doing anything at all....now that's all changed, I can't do anything whatsoever with out running s routine through my head, n if I do manage anything it's with great difficulty! Like today for example, my partner normal takes my children back to my ex partners for me as I don't like long distance driving now, but today she couldn't so I had to! As you all know how it works, you start worrying what if this, what if that, blah de blah, you take a deep breath to check everything's ok, obviously that can make u go light headed etc, next thing I knew half way there I was in a huge panic attack!! I used to be s confident driver too, often travelling to London from sunderland every other week!

Although we all know deep down there's nothing physically wrong with us, I.e heart disease etc, when panic hits you find it hard to think rationally which leads to a full panic...

If only I could practise what I preach

[cappuccinomad]

I have been on Lustral 200 for 4 months and still bad in the mornings.I have started to pick up during the day but its the mornings I cant stand,does these get better in time .xx PS positive answers please.xx

[cappuccinomad]

I have been on 200 mg sertraline and 400 mg of quetiapin for 6 month.I am picking up brilliant by 4-5 o'clock (afternoon) until I go to bed.When I wake up i am full of anxiety and low mood.I do have days wher I am feeling ok but I thought I would be back to my self by.By the way I had a massive breakdown at the beginning of 2012 (last year).Am I slowly recovering,is this normal to still have highs and lows.xx