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Thread: Fear of mess, or being messy

  1. #1

    Fear of mess, or being messy

    This is perhaps a bit of a strange one, as I've never known anyone else with a similar fear, I don't even know if it's a thing! But please do bear with me on this.

    Does anyone else have a total fear of mess, and being messy? I don't mean house mess, like an untidy room (although that does make me feel uncomfortable!), I mean actually being messy, on your skin, or your clothes. I really can't deal with it, and it's getting worse and worse for me.

    Today, I had a break from work, and went for a walk in the city centre. Somehow, I don't know what happened, but I ended up getting some sort of white mess on my black trousers and shoes, in big, white splotches. I don't know what it was, paint, bird mess, I don't really want to think about it. I didn't notice at the time, and didn't feel anything but when I got back to work and sat at my desk, I noticed it. I really panicked, and sweated, and felt faint and terrified at the sight of it all over my clothes, went to the bathroom to cry, and had to leave work early. Even though I was sitting at my desk, I couldn't concentrate on my work, knowing that my clothes were filthy. On the train home, I was mortified, feeling like everyone was looking at the mess all over me. I've come straight home and thrown my clothes straight in the washing machine, and I'm still shaking.

    It's not something that's new to me--this will sound really weird, but one of my earliest memories as a child was getting really upset at those kids' TV shows they used to have, back in the 90s, where people would get thrown in a gunge tank, or covered in stuff, for getting questions wrong. Or whatever it was, I don't remember the actual rules, I just remember bursting into tears and running out of the room when I saw it happening to anyone. It seems so humiliating for someone to get their hair and clothes covered in such horrible stuff, and even now, seeing (or even thinking about) something like Wipeout, where people fall in that horrible sticky mud, makes me feel sick. I can't believe people find it funny.

    So--does anyone else feel likewise, or even understand what I'm on about? Is there even a word for this, or is it just me being unhinged? If anyone else does feel the same, I'd love some advice. It's really affecting me.

  2. #2

    Re: Fear of mess, or being messy

    My son has a similar phobia. and I've been looking for a name for it.

    trigger warning....
    the following may trigger your phobia as i am going to relate something that happened that was the first sign of this "messy" phobia.
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    you are brave! (i will be as kind as i can here)
    when my son was 1. on his first birthday, it's customary to give the child a personal cake for them to "discover"
    as he sat in his high-chair, and reached out to the small cake, his hand sunk into the thick icing. he promptly pulled his hand from it in terror; his hand up in the panic position, he screamed, and cried in terror!

    even after showing him the icing was sweet and yummy, it took some time to get him settled before he would eat it, and then it had to be fed to him by fork. he would not touch it.

    he is 12 now, and still had a huge aversion to getting his hands messy.
    doing the dishes is a huge one. (pure torture for him)
    and though he does not mind getting dirty so much, he avoided washing his hands for a long time.(due to the liquid soap)
    and showering/washing hair...same reason.

    any activity that might result in messy hands is actively avoided by him.

  3. #3

    Re: Fear of mess, or being messy

    Is it the possible humiliation that scares you? The thought that people will notice and see you as being "unclean"? Or the mess itself?
    Perhaps unrelated, but I'm wondering if this be related to experiences in your childhood where perhaps you were raised to believe that getting "messy" or having unclean clothes was frowned upon?
    If it's the humiliation that scares you, it could be a manifestation of social anxiety. If it is the mess itself, exposure therapy could be helpful.

  4. #4

    Re: Fear of mess, or being messy

    Sorry to revive such a old thread, but I wanted to stop by and say I have this exact fear, whatever you want to call it. I've searched all throughout the internet to see if anyone else has it, but you are the first I've seen.

    The fear of being messy, or in my specific case I have a huge fear of mud. Anxiety spikes whenever I go near some. Coming in contact with it a little bit is ok, (like my finger) but once it gets on clothes or shoes I get a panic attack.

    The only recollection I have of when this started was around 10 years ago when a group of friends started a mud fight and I was the only one who survived untouched. Looking at my friends I felt shame, embarrassment for them, and humiliation, but more than that, because I didn't join them that day I felt rejected by them like I didn't fit in and that has caused me great social anxiety ever since.

    I've thought about this fear for many years, and I've determined it's not ocd, and it's not any form of Mysophobia, but something else entirely. My personal belief is that it's a fear of humiliation and being rejected by friends with the root cause being the messy factor.

    There is only one solution I've found that I think fixes this. Replacing the bad memories with good. In my specific case, it would be to purposefully get messy with friends in mud and have fun, make it enjoyable and memorable in a good way. Have them get messy, get yourself messy and overall have a good time.

    I'll admit that I haven't had such a experience yet because I'm terrified of that thought xD, but I look forward to it as I think it will solve my issue.

    If you three are still active, I'd love to hear your thoughts, if not - I'll update you all when I do obtain such a experience with friends and share my results. ~ about 1 or 2 years from now.

  5. #5

    Re: Fear of mess, or being messy

    Update; Still haven't had the experience I spoke of, but I have started to make progress, albeit very very slow progress. Returning to the thread to update you all on my research.

    It's called Automysophobia - A "rare" abnormal fear of being dirty.

    I can't find exact numbers, but it's about 1/30000, with the leading cause found to be either lack of exposure of the dirt/messy/material, or a trauma causing event from the persons childhood (which is my case).

    Fastest way to treat it is exposure therapy, but there is a caution label next to it, saying the person should want to be treated, otherwise you'll only make the fear worse.

    Not much to really say now unfortunately, but I hope this can provide some insight for anyone else looking.

    I'll see you all in a year or two.

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