My heart is breaking please help??

[clear blue sky]

I managed to get pregnant on the copper coil (2% chance). Although unplanned and very unexpected my partner and I were over the moon. I had the coil removed and It was touch and go for baby as I had a high chance of miscarriage .


When I reached the safe zone 12 weeks I was over the moon. My happiness was short lived when I had a screening test for any disorders/abnormality's. My results came back that baby had 4.5 mm of fluid on the back of his/her neck which can indicate a problem. I stayed as positive as I could and then today I received a phone call from the hospital to inform me my blood test is also abnormal and I have been given today a 1 in 5 chance of my baby having down syndrome or another chromosome condition (Some of which will mean baby will not survive past a few days).

I was told a 1 in 5 risk is VERY high and I am having a amnio procedure first thing tomorrow which will confirm any abnormality's.


If abnormality is confirmed I will have to make the hardest choice of my life to continue the pregnancy or not.
I will base it on the quality of life my baby will have and not on whether I will cope or not because I would do anything in this world, give up everything for a baby that needed extra care and support.

The thought of having a termination terrifies me and I am beyond scared. My anxiety levels have rocketed and I feel on the verge of losing it.
I am 15 weeks pregnant.

Has anyone got a child with down syndrome? or know of someone with the condition. Has anyone been in this situation??? I'm terrified.

Thank you for reading any advice will be more than welcome

xxxx

[m.elise]

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I really don't have anything to offer for help or reassurance, but you and your partner are in my prayers.

[clear blue sky]

many thanks x

[mrmj]

Hey CBS, 1 in 5 is very high but it's not a foregone conclusion! In fact 20% chance means that there is EIGHTY PERCENT CHANCE the baby will be healthy! Try and stay strong and positive and take on as much information as possible from your doctor and other professionals who will do all they can to help regardless of what happens tomorrow.

Can't begin to imagine what it is like, but there are always people who have been there before who will be a great source of help and strength no doubt.

Wish you all the best of luck tomorrow - stay strong
x

[rockydog]

Hi a friend of mine has the same odds with her last pregnancy and was booked for a scan when she had the scan they saw she was carrying twins. They couldnt tell which twin was affected or whether both would be, she also has a brother with downs syndrom. She decided to keep the pregnancy and both babies were born perfect. That is just her story so dont give up hope yet, just deal with what you know now and go on and get all the information you need to make your decision. It really has to be your decision and not influenced by others because know matter how much people offer support it comes down to you on a day to day basis x I hope things turn out the best they can for you and you find the answers you are looking for. As far as coping goes just try to deal with each thing as it comes up and not predict too much and try and second guess. I wish you all the best xx

[mrmj]

P.S. I know someone who has aspergers syndrome, and I think though not sure this is a type of autism, as is down syndrome.

He is a really good friend of mine and one of the smartest, kindest people I know despite having difficulties with social skills. He has a degree and a well paid full time job. Could not meet a nicer person if I tried.

[rockydog]

My daughter as Aspergers and at cambridge university, however that is very different from Downs. My friends brother has downs and works in a garden centre and is happy but wait and see what you are dealing with first xx

[clear blue sky]

Thank you mrmj, I needed reminding of that 80% chance all will be well as I am convincing myself its going to be a worst case scenario.
I have learned a lot in such a few days and I thought you had to be over 35 to have a child with downs , what a daft woman. I'm only 24 but my risk is lower than if I were older. I do need to keep positive and stay strong and I will get results by telephone Monday so its not like iv had to wait around for weeks (even though it feels like it).

I have great family and friends who will stick by me and give great support.
Rockydog that's good to hear of some positive outcomes I hope and pray I will get the all clear.

If it is downs I would want to go ahead as I know a lot of children /adults can have great quality of life (as your friends brother) its just sad that I will not know the severity of it and I don't want to bring a child into this world suffering. Jumping the gun again, Ill wait till Monday. I'm just trying to prepare myself for a decision I may have to make as I have no clue what I would do!!

I will keep the faith. Thanks for reply' s . Very much appreciated xx

[stamags]

hi
my son and daughter in law also had this, they had the amnio test and all was well. It is a very anxious time for you and I wish you the best of luck and hope all turns out well. They had a little girl who is perfectly healthy and now 5 years old, oh and four months ago they had twins, a boy and a girl.

[swgrl09]

Hi, I am so sorry you are going through this stressful time. When my mother was pregnant with my sisters, they thought she had something such as this, but turned out to be twins instead. So don't give up hope! Please keep us posted.