My heart is breaking please help??

[clear blue sky]

Thank you it is just terrible :(. I am 4 months pregnant, already huge and had got soooo excited at being a mummy for the first time. I lost a baby before at 11 weeks so this is my second pregnancy.
I really thought this would be ok. I couldn't go through with the amnio on Wednesday I got all freaked out and had a huge panic attack and ran out the hospital!! :(.

I am going in this coming Tuesday to have it done, will get results on Thursday. Everyone in my family has lost all hope saying its too high a risk to be OK and trying to prepare me for what could come.

I am still keeping hope and praying for a miracle as I dont think I will ever get through having to have a termination at this stage in my pregnancy :(.

Thanks for all your support will update
x

[rockydog]

No one can tell you it will will be ok, but dont give up hope x My sister was told at 26 weeks her baby had something wrong and was offered a termination that late they said the babies head was too big and that there was something wrong with her stomach possibly her organs could be on the outside and she was unlikely to survive. My sister went on with the pregnancy expecting to not have a live baby at the end of it. She went into labour a month early and had about eight members of staff ready to take the baby. Jessica was only 4lb and her head did look a bit large, but was perfectly normal. What they picked up in the fluid was a reabsorbed twin that never developed. Jessicas head was actually normal but her body was small, as nature had made all nourishment go to her head. She is now perfectly normal and in proportion
But what you decide to do in the end needs to be only your decision(depending in what happens) as it is your lives and is very difficult for anyone to help you make that decision as they can say things that may influence you yet not live with it 24 hours a day I nearly had this decision to make myself but over the decision making weekend the pregnancy aborted its self (i contracted rubella) xx

[clear blue sky]

Hey im sorry you lost a baby to :(. You never forget. Thats great to hear about your sister you all must have gone through hell!! but wow what a joy to have a lovely baby girl at the end of it!!

the last few days I have been carrying on as normal, and tonight right now Im feeling the anxiety creeping back up.

In 4 days I will know and the thing is im not sure I wanna know. I dont think I could bare to hear the words "Your baby wont make it". I already feel so connected to this baby on such a strong level. Its going to be devastating Im just praying and praying nothing else left to do :( x

---------- Post added at 00:29 ---------- Previous post was at 00:22 ----------

Am I wrong to have the amnio???? I do have a 1 in 5 chance. I guess its good to know what I am dealing with

---------- Post added at 00:30 ---------- Previous post was at 00:29 ----------

what if I cause a miscarriage ?

[mrmj]

CBS it must be so hard but it really is best to get it checked out and find out. The not knowing will probably be causing as much stress as if the results came back and were not good. It's like I said though the odds although high are still massively in favour of a healthy baby, if the results show anything else, there will be a lot of help at hand and you can prepare for whatever course of action you decide to take. Equally though if the results show a nice healthy baby as the odds suggest it will - you can start preparing too as I'm sure there will be a lot to prepare for!
Try and rationalise things as much as you can. Take a step back and say to yourself that there is a very high chance this baby will be healthy.
Wish you all the best! x

[Beckybooboo]

Hi,

Firstly, I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through at the moment.

Secondly, everyone is right! You really need to focus on the positive side of things, focus on the 80% chance and focus on the facts/statistics rather than your own opinion on things.

I notice that today is Monday, and you should be getting your results... So I wish you all the best and hope you can keep us posted!

All the best,
Becky

[clear blue sky]

Freaked out last time I went to have amnio!! Had it done this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank god its over. Will get results next couple of days, fingers crossed will keep u all posted xxx many thanks

[rockydog]

hoping for the best x

[clear blue sky]

Hey everyone . Got my results this morning and my baby has downs syndrome. If I decide to terminate the process involves being induced into labour and giving birth to it. I don't think I would ever ever get over something like that and would wonder forever what could have been.

I don't want to bring a baby into this world who is going to suffer however I don't want to terminate a beautiful baby who could have a relatively good quality of life.

My heart is saying BE BRAVE and give it a chance and be the proud mummy of a downs syndrome baby who will no doubt fill my life with love. I think in this kind of situation for me letting things be what they will be is best.
Whether my baby has a short life or lives for a long time I will love it with every peace of my heart and soul.

On the negative side my partner has already said he would like to terminate and his whole family agree so I also risk losing him, but hey if I have been given a special gift of a baby with downs I somehow feel its my duty to give it all the care in the world.

Still A LOT of things to be thought. xx

[rockydog]

H i there what a difficult time for you x You are sounding quite positive so that is a good thing. I wish you all the best in what ever decision you make and hope you keep well. I am sure there will be a host of people out there and another community like this dealing with a similar situation to yours, so hopefully you will be able to gain advice and support from them for the future as well xx