Beginning to hate myself & life

[danbryn]

im 21 years old. I have suffered severe anxiety since i was 16, I even got to the point i had slight agrophobia, only leaving the house once a week.

5 years on and ive recently finished 12 weeks of CBT.
It was life changing and ive finally got outside, but never on my own, always with someone.

I try to walk a bit on my own every other day when i build up enough confidence to leave the house on my own.

Im never on my own 24-7days a week, Someones always in or im out with someone.

Its Got to the point where im finding myself thinking whats the point anymore, My strength and will power is getting low.
Half of the time i feel like a ghost in my own home.
I just want to be out there and enjoying my life and having the ability to go where i want and on my own :(

Im begging for advice/help

[kittikat]

Sorry to hear how you are feeling. I also suffer agoraphobia caused by years of avoidance following panic disorder....my world slowly shrunk and then I crashed & burned.

Being virtually housebound for several weeks was a frightening experience but I very slowly built myself up and started to get out....but only with a 'safe person'. It has been at times frightening, frustrating and depressing. I am 3/4 through my CBT now and I have made slow but positive progress...it's very hard. Exposure therapy and remaining out until your anxiety naturally drops is not an easy process.

But you are actually doing great...you say you are getting out for walks on your own which is something you can build on. Slow, baby steps. If you can manage a small local supermarket with a trusted companion, go with them a few times, then try going with them but they wait outside while you go in....you'll still have the comfort of knowing your support is just outside if you need them.

There is no easy answer, it's a long hard slog....I am only just able to cope in a very small comfort zone atm, and I am really stuck getting past this. My need to be at home or the length of time I am away from home remains a big issue for me.

Sorry I can't wave a magic wand for you, just wanted you to know that I understand and know how very frustrating and demoralising it can be Kitti

[BobbyDog]

I agree with Kitti, One step at a time. You must congratulate your self for the progress that you have made! It takes a lot of courage to leave the house on your own when you suffer from agoraphobia! Each time you leave the house on your own, try and make your journey a little longer every time. Like Kitti said, the supermarket with a companion is the big one if you feel that you can do it. You will get there with the determination that you have already shown......

Just try and remember all the things you have learned while doing CBT.

[MISCHIF]

mate so sorry u feel like that. i have been suffering for a while now and i felt the same but since i made friends with fluoxetine i`m a changed person i still get attacks but days stresses just seem easier to deal with. i`m not recomending scrip drugs but they work for me . it`s your choice. hope it sorts out for you . keep coming on here though buddy it`1s great to talk the guys on here are amazing and have really helped me.

[Louise1234]

This is the exact same as me!!

i find it very very hard to go out by myself, im never ever at home alone, i always have my mum or someone there with me. If it is a point where i am home alone i will panic till someone comes back.

I started a course a few weeks ago which ment i had to leave the house by myself. When i knew i had to do this, i started by just walking up the road by myself and then to my shop..and then i just went to my college on my own. it was not easy at all!! I felt all the panic symptoms coming on because i was alone. but i did it! however i still wont go no where else by myself other then college now. my aim is to go out friday by myself but im so frightened. Its never impossible and im sure u can do it within time. I wish u all the luck in the world and if you ever want to talk just message me. Sending u a hug xx

[Thinkingimmad85]

As the other's have said you are doing really well, don't be too hard on yourself, small steps. I myself suffer from panic and agoraphobia amongst other things so I know where you are coming from, I didn't leave the house for 18 months and now I only go out with my husband and if I really have to and I am never home alone, my husband has had to give up work to stay with me at home so I do understand your desperation. Just stick at it your doing great. x