Hi Caroline,
My heart goes out to you and I'm sending you love and wish I could hug you in person
You are showing such amazing strength and determination in dealing with your anxiety and should be very proud of yourself.
Anxiety is a very real illness that has such a devastating impact on our lives. Please do not feel guilty for being ill. You would not feel guilt for having a physical illness like a broken leg or heart problem that limited your daily functioning. Your illness, pain, suffering and need for support to recover is just as valid.
Your son knows that you love him and his Mummy is poorly. Your husband married you and made a promise to love you in sickness and in health. This is the time he needs to show you the support he promised he would when he married you. Yes it is frustrating for him. But his comment is hurtful, unhelpful and adds to the weight of the burden you are carrying which is already heavy enough for you to bear.
I do not have the answers for you Caroline. I'm currently in a dilemma about whether I should try citalopram again. I'm no nearer the answer and now losing sleep over this decision myself.
I just wanted you to know that you are an amazing person who's strength and determination to recover is to be admired. You are not alone in your struggle, even though you may feel this at times, there are so many of us at any one time working hard to get our health & lives back. You are in my thoughts and I wish you love and peace of mind that you need and deserve to get through this struggle and come through the other side.
I look forward to following your progress. Be kind to yourself. I believe in you.