New to citalopram - my experiences

[Sparkle1984]

On Friday last week my doctor prescribed me 10mg citalopram for anxiety. (Please see my post in the Introduce Yourself forum if you want to know more about my anxiety). This is the first time I've ever been on any type of AD so I thought I'd share my experiences here.

For the first few days especially, I had some weird side-effects and didn't feel too good. The main side-effects were insomnia (I hardly slept for the first 3 nights) and loss of appetite (sometimes food would make me gag and I couldn't even finish my favourite meal, which is very unusual for me).

On the Friday evening after I took my first tablet, I didn't really notice any difference in my anxiety, which is fine as I realise these things take time to work. On the Saturday evening I actually felt really good after taking my second tablet - not that I was completely back to normal but I felt that the intrusive thoughts had subsided quite significantly. I felt happy that evening and more motivated to do the things that I used to enjoy doing.

However, this feeling wore off overnight and I didn't get a very good night's sleep. I woke up early on Sunday morning and the intrusive thoughts were back. Then my mind started racing through the times in the past where I’d had unsettling thoughts – even in the weeks and months before this current episode started, I did occasionally have morbid thoughts but they’d disappear in a few seconds as I was able to dismiss them. It worries me when my mind goes through these times in the past as it feels like it’s saying that I’ll never be completely free of these thoughts, and that even in happy times they may come back occasionally. I then had my worries about feeling that everything’s falling apart, and worrying about how I’ll cope with work and my social life. I also worried about not getting enough sleep and losing my appetite.

When I took my tablet on Sunday evening, unfortunately it didn't seem to make much difference. I was disappointed as I thought the good feelings I had on Saturday night would come back. I hardly slept at all on Sunday night and felt awful when I got up yesterday morning. I could only manage half of my bowl of cereal! I had a nap at mid-day and when I woke up I felt a bit better, although the anxious tensed-up feelings came back about 2 or 3 hours after I woke up. In the evening, my appetite wasn't quite so bad and I managed to eat all my dinner and my dessert. I had my tablet straight after dinner as always. About 3 hours later I began to feel more relaxed.

The tension in my muscles subsided and I didn't feel quite so on edge. I felt I could concentrate on things better. I didn't feel completely back to normal, but definitely better than I did earlier in the day. Last night I actually had the best night's sleep that I've had in weeks! I did wake up too early (just the once), but I was able to go back to sleep again, whereas usually my mind would start racing and the intrusive thoughts would come and I wouldn't be able to sleep. I woke up properly at 10am feeling more refreshed. Usually when I wake up in the morning (since this anxiety episode started) I get negative thoughts and feel really down. This morning I didn't have such depressing "doom and gloom" thoughts and I felt like I was able to face the day ahead of me.

When I had breakfast this morning, I felt like my appetite was starting to come back again, as I was able to eat my full bowlful of cereal and I even managed some raspberries on top! I also felt better able to concentrate on reading the morning newspaper. I've always loved reading the newspaper each morning, but ever since this anxiety episode started 5 weeks ago I've found it harder to concentrate on it, especially if any of the stories trigger my negative thoughts and worries. But this morning I was able to read several stories without feeling too uncomfortable. Even as I type this message, I don't feel too tensed up. The doctor has signed me off work for the rest of the week, so hopefully this will give me space to recover as well as to get over the side effects.

I hope that this means the medication is starting to work!

[Iggy131313]

Hi Sparkle and Welcome, sounds like your doing really well, and the side effects that you mention are totally usual.

It can take a couple of weeks, sometimes more for the citalopram to get into your system properly and should be working at full strength between 6-8 weeks so dont worry about not feeling 100% straight away, it takes time.

Congrats on addressing your anxiety issues and getting some help, keep us all updated.

Caroline x

[Sparkle1984]

Update at the end of Day 5:- today has gone pretty well. I did get the intrusive morbid thoughts occasionally today (my current anxiety theme is to do with getting old and dying!), but I felt more able to resist them. I didn't ruminate on them as much as I have done on previous days.

The anxious thoughts used to make me feel down, but today I've been in a happier mood and felt more relaxed. I feel more confident about the future, whereas at the weekend I often felt that everything was hopeless and that I'd never go back to normal. My muscles feel more relaxed and I haven't been getting the panicky feeling that I need to escape from myself (if that makes sense).

For the last day or so I've felt happier in myself and even though the anxious thoughts have come through occasionally, I haven't really felt depressed. Even my parents have noticed I seem happier than before (they know about my anxiety so I asked them to look out for me). My appetite is still improving - I ate a full meal this evening without feeling like I was going to gag!

[fashionroadkill]

Hiya Sparkle,
Your experience of citalopram sounds alot like mine so far. Im 8 days on them now and gradually feeling a slow improvement day to day. I wasnt sleeping at all before i started them and have been back to a few good nights of sleep in the past week and like you I had totally lost my appetite and couldnt force myself to eat but after 4 days on citalopram my appetite came back so that felt like a small victory.
Hope things continue well for you x

[Sparkle1984]

Last night I had an amazing experience. After I went to bed, I had an overwhelming feeling of happiness and bliss. I also felt immense joy and that I was loved. I felt so excited and psyched up that it took me hours to get to sleep (plus it was a very hot night where I live). Usually if it takes me a long time to get to sleep, I start getting panicky, but this time I felt so good that it just didn't bother me. In fact in many ways I didn't want the feeling to end!

I felt so happy that I shed some tears of joy and relief! When this episode first started a few weeks ago, I never thought that I'd be able to feel so happy again. I also had a few weird thoughts (weird in a good way - I often get weird thoughts when I'm feeling really happy). As I was lying there, I felt a strong connection with the world and my fellow human beings. I felt reassured that I was loved by my family and friends. I also felt affection towards everyone else. I remember getting a feeling that I was rediscovering the purpose of life (just a few days earlier when I was feeling really down, I had this horrible negative thought that life was pointless as we all end up dying anyway). I remember thinking that life is worthwhile after all.

Like I said, it took me hours to get to sleep, and I didn't look at the clock at all because I didn't want to scare myself! I remember thinking of everyone on this forum who has helped me and given me advice. I remember thinking how much I admire my doctor and the NHS for helping people like us. There are a lot of very kind-hearted people in the anxiety/depression community. As for one of my super-weird thoughts, I remember thinking "OMG Citalopram is awesome and whoever invented it deserves to be declared a saint or something LOL! The saint of happiness!" (See I did warn you I get weird thoughts when I'm extra happy!).

Eventually I managed to relax enough to fall asleep. When I woke up in the morning I felt good - no depressed doom and gloom feelings. I still feel anxious sometimes, and so far I've found that the meds have helped better with the mild depression than the anxiety. Today I've felt quite hyper, listening to happy music and dancing (in the privacy of my own home of course)!

I hope no-one thinks I'm crazy now! I'm just glad I'm starting to feel better and my family have definitely noticed a change in me, and that's made them happier as well.

From reading these forums I know it's unusual for Citalopram to have such an effect so early on. I think it might be because my Asperger Syndrome (high functioning autism) which makes my brain extra sensitive to any changes.

[Sparkle1984]

OK, so yesterday's diary entry was pretty crazy! Today I was in a more sensible (read: less hyperactive) mood. I'm still feeling happy. Although sometimes I get my anxious thoughts they're nowhere near as intrusive as they used to be. Today I went out with the family to visit some local gardens and I felt that I could enjoy it. Sometimes I got anxious thoughts, but I didn't ever feel panicky or upset. When I went out a few days/weeks ago I used to feel as though I couldn't enjoy myself because I'd be feeling anxious and also a little depressed.

My only query now is why I get a fast heartbeat even when I'm feeling relaxed and not anxious - is this a side effect? I've started a separate topic about that.

[Sparkle1984]

Last night I made the big mistake of going to bed really late. I slept from about 3am to 11am, and when I woke up in the morning I felt pretty rough. Even though I had about 8 hours sleep (which is normally enough for me), it's thrown my body clock out of kilter.

Throughout today I've been feeling a bit more anxious than I have been for the last few days. We were planning to go out today but I felt too rotten to go! The anxiety always gets worse when I'm tired! Although thankfully it's still nowhere near as bad as it was before I started on Citalopram.

I'm going to make sure I have an early night tonight. I don't want to ruin the progress I've made so far. Plus I go back to work next week, so I need to get my sleeping patterns sorted out again, lest I turn up at the office looking like some sort of weird zombie!

If anyone here wants to chat with me then please do. I can't get onto the main chatroom because I haven't been a member for 5 days yet, but you're welcome to chat with me on this page or by PM.

[Laura1989]

hi, i am on my 2nd day of citalopram. Yesterday was my first dose, and within hours i felt spacey, nauseous, fidgety, more anxious, more stressed. I went to sleep about 11.30 (normal for me) but then woke up at 5am, wide awake and couldnt get back to sleep.
Even when i was at my lowest i could get more sleep than that!
Have to admit its a bit weird and scary, im really hoping it doesn't get any worse, as currently my family don't know i am on antidepressants, or even struggling with depression and anxiety. (although i think they may start putting the jigsaw pieces together soon)

[Sparkle1984]

Day 9 update: I went to bed about 11pm last night and I woke up at 7.30am. I was woken up suddenly by the sound of snoring, which is weird as I don't snore. I think I must have heard the snoring sound in my dream - I don't think it was really there. Anyway it made me wake up with a startle, and I didn't manage to go back to sleep properly after that, even though I laid in bed until 8.30am. After breakfast I felt tired and I could feel some of my old anxious thoughts breaking through, so I went back to bed for a nap in the mid-morning, but I don't think I got much sleep. The same thing that happened to me in the morning happened again - I was woken up startled by the sound of snoring. Then a few minutes later my body twitched just as I was falling back to sleep, so yet again I woke up feeling startled! (My body never used to twitch when sleeping, so I assume it must be yet another side effect).

Anyway, at mid-day I went outside in the back garden to enjoy the sunshine. I listened to my MP3 player and read a book. I also stared up at the clouds drifting by while I was listening to my music and this helped me feel more relaxed. I sat in the shade most of the time as it was so hot, about 30 degrees. After about 3 hours outside, I felt refreshed and came back indoors. I didn't feel like eating much today, presumably because of the hot weather, so I just had a salad. One good thing is that I have been trying to eat more healthily ever since this anxiety episode started a few weeks ago. I tend to eat more salads and fruit than I used to.

I feel relaxed now and I haven't had any intrusive anxious thoughts for several hours. I'm looking forward to the new series of the X Factor when it starts in half an hour!

Laura, it's up to you if you tell your family, but I told mine and they were very sympathetic, much more than I thought they would be. It has definitely helped me get my feelings out in the open. For years, I used to bottle up my emotions and I now realise that was unhealthy for me.

[Sparkle1984]

Day 10: Last night while watching the X Factor, I felt the most relaxed I had been for several weeks. Once the programme had finished, I felt so happy that I ran round the back garden and then laid down on the grass to look at the stars. We also saw the international space station pass by, which was fun. I feel like I can look forward to the future now – I’m looking forward to my new job and my upcoming holidays and weekend break. Last night it was hard to get to sleep because of the very hot weather we've had here. It was 30 degrees in my bedroom (I have a thermometer on my wall). I think I would've slept well though if it wasn't for the extreme heat.

I had a quiet day today. Got up about 9am and had breakfast and then read the Sunday newspaper (which always takes a long time because there's so many sections!) Even though it was still very hot and stuffy today, it was cloudy a lot of the time so I didn't bother sitting outside. I played a couple of my Super Mario games on the Wii - playing games is a good way to keep my mind off any worries.

By the early evening my mind was starting to feel awful - I think it's partly because I was so hot and bothered and tired. I had a couple of banana sandwiches for tea as I didn't feel like eating anything more substantial. I had my tablet at teatime as always. Then I had a cold shower to help me cool down. I felt a bit better after that.

This evening I've been doing fairly mundane tasks on the computer, so nothing exciting to report about that. I have to go back to work in a couple of days as my doctor's certificate expires then and I'm dreading that because I'm worried about colleagues asking me awkward questions about why I've been away (although apart from that I'll be glad to get back to my usual work routine). Once the first day of work is over, I think I'll be fine.