Pregabalin and ME- from Black Hole to Super Nova or a small cool faint RED Dwarf?

[Ando1967]

Background major depression and anxiety and other things as yet poorly defined (maybe BP maybe BPD - maybe just "crazy")


On various ADs (years) and benzos (recent) - not doing well - psychiatrist suggested pregabalin


Pregabalin diary


Day 1 Tuesday 14-08-2012



9am 2 mg Valium
Anxious (level 2/5 all day)

3pm Pregabalin 75mg
Slept- rested – ruminated – very anxious level 3/5 and suicidal ideations

6 pm feeling okay – not anxious and not able to induce anxiety with negative issues looming over me at present
I might feel a bit despondent but not actually anxious
The drug-pushing idiot who lives next door and who has the most ridiculous squealing laugh isn’t annoying me – I hear it and think “you pathetic joker”
Kind of nervous about the rapid effect – is this in my head – ha ha one way or another – real or placebo – it’s in my head!!
<Feel a bit spaced>

8.30pm
Okay I realise I am definitely not angst free- not immune to it - if I was it wasn’t for long
My ex partner (FB) of 10 years + who now lives across the road with a mathematician (not really important who she is with but somehow adds flavour to the story) constantly rings my door bell and bangs the door until I got out of bed and answered it. A constantly ringing door bell – just holding the buzzer again and again is like a form of torture to me - I definitely went into a very angst ridden and subsequently depressed state- maybe 3/5 anxiety- punched myself in face – bit of bruising – this is not just about the door bell etc but a lot of other issues relating to FB
I hear the ridiculous squealing laugh of the drug-pushing idiot who lives next door and want to crush the pathetic joker (I put ear plugs in instead)
<Feel a bit spaced, tongue a bit metallic - >

9pm Pregabalin 75mg (on BID - take second dose of day 1- onl;y 6 hours after first but need something)
Go to bed and hope the assault of negativity, guilt, self-criticism and anxiety will end soon – I need to read about the pharmacokinetics of this drug. I feel like I am just a machine – add a new chemical – tweak a few things in the mechanics – and this fundamentally change ME? So what am I – who is the ME that can be so easily fundamentally altered. How can I be in a negative maelstrom and suicidal and take a drug and feel okay – maybe positive, useful, functional, capable etc is there a real ME or just permutations of ME based on concentrations of chemicals a and b in regions x and y etc
Hopefully I can get some peace and sleep tonight


10.30pm
I feel really good - negative thoughts but overall no anxiety - this is scarily good at present - it must be amazing to feel like this all the time? I guess it seems more incredible when you experience a more "normal" emotional state with negligible background anxiety in juxtaposition to the extreme agitation of anxiety-ridden states (i.e. where i was an hour ago). I can only pray that this will plateau and I will have some baseline of anxiety, which is bearable
<My mind is racing a bit>

[hanshan]

Hi Ando,

Wonderful post. Keep your hopes up.

My experience is that pregabalin doesn't work for everyone, but if it is going to work, it tends to work quickly and at a fairly small dose. You do need to up the dose after a while as some tolerance develops, but most people find a level that suits them. Expect some temporary side effects.

It doesn't completely obliterate angst. My test is - if something happens to me that would make an ordinary person anxious, then pregabalin won't stop that anxiety. But it stops the free-floating anxiety that happily attaches itself to any minor thing.

Good luck, and keep posting.

Hanshan

[Ando1967]

Day 2 Wednesday 15-08-2012



7am Pregabalin 75mg
Very depressed – more than I have been in the mornings - suicidal ideations and constant flow of negative thoughts but without the usual high anxiety – but still fairly anxious ~ level 2/5

8am 2 mg Valium
11.30am 4 mg Valium (tapering off valium usage)

8am to 2 pm– in bed until 2 pm – feel like a zombie – I feel so depressed and spaced – ruminating and low levels of anxiety – very unsteady on my feet when I get out of bed
I felt really positive after taking the doses last night and now feel that I am in reverse with the pedal flat to the floor
Is this to be expected early on? Maybe a start up side effect?
I am really terrified by the way I feel
I need to go to work soon – only doing a few hours in the afternoon since my recent bout of major ill defined "illness”

2pm to 6pm
Work – felt like the living dead- I feel that my frontal lobes have been homogenised – no emotion- no motivation – my mind is not working
Swim – 20 laps- exhausted and forced myself because I have to exercise (it will help me!!!!!!!! – it will improve my anxiety and depression!!!!!!!) so I swim and feel like I want to join the detritus that I see on the bottom of the pool
Screw this

[hanshan]

Hi Ando,

Sorry to hear things aren't going as well as you hoped.

Pregabalin does make you feel spacey and uncoordinated at first, but it wears off in time.

Also, it is mostly effective for anxiety, not depression. It can be combined with an antidepressant. You mention that you have taken ADs in the past. Is there one that you have found effective for the depression side of things that you could combine with pregabalin?

Take care.

Hanshan

[Coni]

Hi Ando, I take pregabalin with venlafaxine. I felt really dopey and drunk to begin with but that started to wear off (though did recur briefly with dosage increase). I also felt really clumsy and actually embarrassingly unsteady on my feet.

These effects have all settled down now though I did play about with the timing of my evening dose. I find if I take it too late then I am crushingly tired in the morning, despite sleeping really well.

Hope things improve for you soon.

X

[Ando1967]

Thanks Hanshan - I am on escitalopram but have remained fairly depressed despite this rx. The psychiatrist thinks it's the anxiety issues - i.e. that i have more a primary anxiety problem and this leads to depression. This makes sense when i look at the pattern of my mood in relation to anxiety- hence the trial of pregabalin
Coni - I was wondering of i should take the pregabalin earlier as you have recommended - when do you take it?
Thanks for your comments
David
.....
Day 3 Thursday 16-08-2012



Still awake at 5 am so very little sleep

7am Pregabalin 75mg
Anxiety crept up on me but I managed to hold it at bay, which amazed me (I recite a little litany of things I am working on – thoughts which help me keep centred - keep perspective and generally positive things etc)
Managed to get a few more hours sleep between 7 and 11 but totally exhausted and seeing the world through a fog- I feel a bit derealized
The longer I was in bed the more depressed I became – fairly anxious ~ level 2/5
Stay in bed until 1.30, as I haven’t the energy to get up- I contact work to say I can’t come in

12 pm Valium 4 mg – trying not to take Valium but need some rest?
Valium maybe helped stop the anxiety, which was building

3 pm
Drag my sorry soul to the builders’ merchant to buy some plumbing supplies
Feeling a bit better re mood and anxiety but very tired

7 pm
Going for a swim now – will try for 20 laps- kills me BUT must be good for me

[Coni]

Hi david, I take 50 mg in the morning and then 200mg at about 7pm (ish). I do forget sometimes and take it at bedtime and I know Ill have a foggy head in the morning.

Good luck. Let us know how you get on.

X

[Ando1967]

Coni - i took the pregabalin earlier last night and i seemed better this AM but n=1 so we will see
I notice you take a big dose in the evening and low dose AM - is that due to tiredness? I might discuss this with my psychiatrist

Day 4 Friday 17-08-2012

Slept last night 11pm till 5 am – anxiety not to bad on waking – it is more like negative thoughts without anxiety on top

7am Pregabalin 75mg

Slept a bit more- head very foggy – got up at 11am

5pm Managed to go to work and felt like my spirits were better – definitely significant improvement re anxiety levels (1/5 at most). Very flat now and need to lie down. So far no benzos today

7pm Pregabalin 75mg
I have shifted 1 cubic meter of pebbles this evening – more activity than I have been capable of in 6 months
The usual bombardment of negative thoughts but not anxious

[Coni]

Yes it is due to the tiredness, and I was really worried about not feeling sharp at work (making a mistake at work is one of my big anxieties, but I also have a very stressful job so had to try and find balance somehow). It may be worth your while discussing this .

X

[Ando1967]

Day 5 Saturday 18-08-2012

No sleep last night – went to bed at 10 still awake at 5 am
Then obviously knackered today
Very little anxiety but moderately depressed- didn’t achieve much – a lot of time in bed as so tired

7am Pregabalin 150mg
8pm Pregabalin 150mg
Increased pregabalin dose for no other reason than pure frustration relating ot my
ongoing insomnia and it’s subsequent ramifications - definite positive effects re the level
of anxiety