back after 2 years! cancer worriea.please help! i cant take it

[hollymuso]

Hi everyone! I used to use this site daily! I had no life I believed the world would end and I would die etc...I couldn't go out travel never smiled. Was in hell!! Life didn't seem worth living I won't go into why I was here in first place all that matters is I made myself better and even posted a success story which meant so much. My life has been great now. I appriciate it in such a wonderful way however just recently I've got myself all worked up that I am gonna get cancer or that I have lung cancer!! I've experienced a lot of the early symptoms and have smoked for 11 years properly. Few dabbles before then...bit I'm only 25 : l I've had an ex who's dad died of cancer...thats when I was here before.. and I've had health probs and a scare once before because of changed cells in my cervics..I now know it was something cause by the same ex cheating lots.!! I am experiencing a. It of a dry cough( occasional sneezing) I've had a shoulder pain for bout 2 or3 months its on top.on the bone and feels like a bruise??? I have. Web googling and I'd imagine I'm bringing a lot of symptom on by stress. I get bad back but pretty much always have! My throat is dry and sore and only recently I've noticed muscle twinge and sickening aches ..my dad says I'm stupid because I've been doing decorating lately and it could have been tiredness from that but should I be worried? I've started not sleeping and crying a lot ..I'm now worried I'm losing weight but I thinly I.just bring more active and not eating as much!! See logically I think I'm being ridiculous but I know ppl.who smoked from you.g age at more risk and you can get it at 25!! I wanna go doctor but if it is just me bring unaware or not wanting to admit its anxiety relapse then ill look silly! Life has been so good I'm so afraid to lose it...I'm so scared I'm gonna die just as life gets normal.! I've had it shit bit just graduated and terrified please can anyone help.
! Sorry for essay bit wanted to explain properly :-( x

---------- Post added at 01:03 ---------- Previous post was at 01:00 ----------

Forgot to say ...the shoulder pain is when I lift ARM..or change from 1 st to 2nd gear when driving if that makes sense .. I would imagine over three months if it was cancer it would have got worse not better?! X

---------- Post added at 01:07 ---------- Previous post was at 01:03 ----------

And I've just checked and I've lost about three pounds in weight ...can't say one been trying just been more active I suppose and doing sit UPS ..bur only .last Wednesday I.had lost 2 but went to dinner and put them back on..could that be right that they've gone again in a week? X I'm so sorry but anyone reading can hopefully see I need help! X

[waunder]

Sounds like things are piling up in your life, thats when anxiety takes control and rational thought turns frantic like. Remember how you became anxious before and how you got better. Try those coping strategies and others as well to help . Meditation is a wonderful tool for gaining some control . Get reassurance from your doctor as well , you have to go sooner or later and sooner is better. Hang on dear. you can get through this . hugs

[Munchlet]

Hi

Just wanted to post to say sorry you are back to worrying about this again, HA is awful and we just never seem to be completely free from it.

I've known two people who had lung cancer and the weight loss was enormous, I'm talking losing stones in a matter of weeks so I really don't think you have anything to worry about with that. In addition they were gravely ill and I really mean that, they couldn't eat couldn't do anything!

More than likely your symptoms are anxiey related or at worse you may hava bit of a virus, and as your Dad says you have been decorating and have probably strained a few muscles.

Now something I can relate to is your arm. Back in April I woke up one morning and both of the tops of my arms felt like I'd been doing really heavy weights. The right arm got better in a matter of days but my left arm, still really hurts across the bicep area if I try and lift it up high or pull it behind me, and surprise surprise I won't go to the doctor because I think I have some form or rare cancer.

I think more than likely it's a trapped nerve or I've somehow pulled something but obviously my HA won't let me believe that and I keep telling myself the same as you after four months wouldn't it have gotten worse?

I just wanted to let you know that we all have the same thoughts and unfortunately they are normally negative.

Try and do something to relax and with your arm, why don't you go and get a nice massage as that can often really help, I keep saying that's what I'm going to do but never get round to it!!!

Take care

[hollymuso]

Thank you for your comments...
The shoulder thing gets worse when I touch it then I feel it down ARM but after I posted last night .I googled just the arm and there can be something wrong with the cuff or ball thing on top .. in that instance I may not be irrational. I.can't believe I'm doing this to myself. I even got scared after me and my boyfriend were intimate last night cause early lung cancer can be a slight winded feeling after that... tbh fair I had to push my diagram.but it definitely felt a bit windy ...I had just had sex though lol so am I just matching on to anything? I have doctors today .. I'm scared . I really think if I had cancer even in early stages I'd kno by now ..since my shoulder got bad I've played badminton and had no problems I'm smoked Oct not always coughed I've felt lots of energy.not always but still .. and if my shoulder was that painful then got better would that indicate there is nothing on my.lung pressing on nerves? And surely I'd have had the other symptoms at same time as the arm? X x