I did attempt suicide a couple of months ago.
And i done the right thing, After waking up, being sick etc, i lied down for around 6 hours, i was in a lot of pain, it was unbearable, so i rang an ambulance, stayed in hospital for a week, my liver was healthy-ish again so i could leave

well i have little 'moments' lasting 'bout 4 hours, usually at the end of the day, but can be anytime, i end up screaming, on the floor, hitting myself, crying, feels like my chest is being torn into two, i have to fight so ****ing hard not to reach for the pills or the blade.

It's scaring me, so much
I'm so scared i'm going to give up fighting one day, anyone know how to deal with suicidal feelings? strong. (When you're already in a complete mess because i cant avoid that.)