Soooooo tired of fighting depression

[Diamond01]

Hi last time I was here I had just changed my meds. and was pretty poorly. I've changed back to something I've tried before as GP doesn't know what else to do. I've had most SSRIs and SNRIs. I am so tired of fighting this horrible thing, my good days are only barely ok, by bad days are terrible, can't eat, can't sleep, can't function, don't want to see anyone or do anything. I've driven my few friends away. I completely lost it on Friday and walked out of work in a deeply emotional state and am now getting worked up about going back tomorrow and facing everyone. I can't take more time off work as I'm already being monitored for excess sick leave. I slept late Saturday and didn't feel like doing anything the rest of the day, and yesterday I cried most of the day and sat in front of the TV. What a waste of my life. I've had counselling and paid privately when my free sessions ran out, I've had cbt but I could choose only one subject to cover which seemed a bit pointless as I feel only part of my problems were looked at. I'm starting a mood management group in September and am hoping this will help. I have a family and a beautiful grandson so feel so guilty about my feelings. I've struggled with depression now for about 18 years, I'm tired of reading about it, thinking about it, trying different therapies - does it ever go away?

[freedomseeker]

I am so sorry you are feeling like this like you I am in the same place...I am at my wits end with it all to be honest..alone and no one cares a jot. I do have a little dog that is very poorly which is stressing me right out as she is so important to me I have suffered from depression on and off for 40 years but this last few years has seen it getting much worse I do not want to go onto AD's I do take Diazepam at night just a 2mg as I have severe tinnitus...but being alone doesn't help. I do have a family but they are just not interested and I never see my grandchildren...(long story) I do feel for you though sending you a hug

[ElizabethJane]

Hi Diamond maybe it is time to stop fighting the depression. I have suffered with severe recurrent depression for most of my adult life and I'm fifty one now. I 'manage' my illness through drug treatment, support from my GP, support from my psychiatrist (rare) and hypnosis. That is not to say that I have had many other therapies and treatments in the past. The past is the past we can never go back.Try to look forward. Plan something nice to do in the future. It might help to work out a structure to your day which could include work, but also leisure, exercise, meeting a friend etc. I can't promise that depression will ever go away but it can be worked at. Severe depression and thoughts of self harm always need the treatment and support of a psychiatrist EJ.