obsessive thoughts (horrid) but im strong and know what they are

[purplepie]

Hey BBy1, Porkpie here, or I will be if I keep on eating on these tabs, I am only little so any extra weight just makes me look like an umpa lumpa lol. Just wondering how you are getting on. My thoughts are ok, I am still having momnets of anxiousness especially around otheres, ie college, but it's early days and everyone on my course seems nice.
The virus is going, so I am feeling a little better.
My main things at the moment are not great sleep, apparently clomip stops you going properly into the REM sleep that we need, I wake every three to four hours for a wee - v frustrating. My constipation is adding to the umpa lumpa look and laxatives/bulking agents just make me feel sick and even more bloated.
I still feel a bit crap in a morning, oh yeah and my urine has a very strange medicinal smell - I will check this out with the doc when I see him next week.
Wish I didn't need the tabs at all, but they are the best ones I have taken up to now.
What have you been upto with your time off work?
Bye for now

[bobbbyone]

Hi ppie
docs got me on 75mgs.Second day on them.Feel full of energy so im going to get on my bike and do a few miles.i supose im going to get more anxiety at the start of this increase in dosage.i feel as though there working but need to feel confident with this increase or may have to drop dose as I don't want to feel to high.but last night had good thoughts about returning to work.Just want to feel stable again.
Best regards bobbbyone

[purplepie]

Hi bobbyone, how are you getting on with the 75mg? I am still on 40 and see the doctor this afternoon. I have felt a bit low this week and a couple of thoughts have crept in, but it is the pmt week which never helps. I don't really want to go higher as the side effects are rubbish.
Have you had any side effects on yours?
Ppie

[bobbbyone]

Yes loads ppie ,anxiety and constapation and still got thoughts hopefully they will all die down.Have you tried seroquel really good for sleep and chilling you out when needed.Takes the edge of everything.But makes you Hungary at first till you get used to them.There really mild and at a low dose make you sleep lovely.
Best regards Bbbby1

[purplepie]

Hi Bbbbbbbby1, I haven't tried seroquel, I was prescribed it a year or so ago when I wasn't sleeping but didn't take it as I really don't like taking any medication if I can help it. I do sleep better now but find I just seem to go to sleep and then wake a couple of times a night and feel quite tense in a morning as if I waking from a drug induced stipour - not nice. I went to Docs who confirmed a water infection and so I am on a week of anti biotics. I have gone done 5mg to 35mg and I will go up to 45mg the week before my period to see if it helps the hormonal lows.
I haven't felt good this week really, few thoughts and feeling low with no motivation, not sure if it is with taking the anti biotics for this infection or the feeling that the wweather is feeling really wintery now - a cmbination of a few things I suppose. I really would like a small part time job but feel so inconsistant all the time to hold down regular hours.
How are you feeling?
PPPpppppie

[bobbbyone]

I am feeling a lot better start back to work Monday. So wish me luck.Seroqeul really good don't be afraid as they really help IMO.Once you've got out of rut just knock meds on the head
There just like stabilizers on a bike till you get used to riding bike again x

[Harley]

Hi Bobbyone. I suffered from constant, repetitive, horrible thoughts for many years. They were in my head 24/7. After trying various SSRIs which did not help me at all I was put on cloripirmine but told I would have to take a very high dose for it to be effective. I very slowly increased my dose until I was taking the maximum. I had no side effects at all and taking the drugs combined with therapy I made a full recovery. I had to stay on the drugs for two or more years, but when I decided to come off them, I did it very slowly over a long period of time and suffered no withdrawal symptoms. I was put on this particular drug because I was told it was very effective for people who suffered from intrusive thoughts.

[purplepie]

Hi Bby1, I am glad you are feeling well enough to go back to work. I have managed to secure my self a small part time job just cleaning, a couple of hours a morning. It's a long way from what I used to do but its a start. I am really nervous for tomorrow, more so because I don't want to feel weird in work and it has been so long since I did anything regularly. I am hoping it will be a start on the road to recovery. I start tomorrow! Good luck to you for Monday, keep me posted how you go.
Hi Harley - what mg were you on, I seem to be really sensitive to meds and even at 40 mg I am having bad constipation - I just never feel like going to the toilet, waking in the night and feeling quite groggy in a morning. The thoughts seem to come more at my hormonal time so doc has said to go up a week before, not sure if this will do the trick. He wasn't really wanting me to go higher.
On top of the thoughts, I am so nervous/anxious about doing anything with people even though years ago this was never an issue. I some times feel like I will never get to a stable calm relaxed place where I can jsut be me, I always seem to be on guard.
Thanks for joining our conversation, it's good to have other peoples' points of view.

[bobbbyone]

Hi ppie and harley
ppie i had to do the same thing 1o years ago start at the bottom and work my way up.And as i worked my way up realised that i am good at what i do from cleaning to using a computer for my job now and found i probably get more respect than my bosses as i can adapt or relate to all walks of life , it will make you stronger as the months years go on.Youll see xxx
Thanks Harley ive been on clomi for years now and have to adjust dosage as when needed as my depression manifests itself as intrusive have done cbt in the past and it was great a bit wierd like telling some one your deepest fears and them telling you its normal to feel like this , but it works and i have beaten this pure o (ocd with no compulsions)several times.So i am feeling 60% better than what i did so HOPEFULLY the other 20% will come from work and i can live with being 80% normal.And when i forget about my illness i will know im 100% and find something else to worry about (lol).
Side effects are mostly gone now the worst being the anxiety of the clomi not working but it seemed to click in last week luckily.And if need be have plenty of room to increase from 75mg or decrease as ocd receeds.
Seroquel great for just taking edge off everything and easy to stop taking once things have settled down in my life.
SSRIs good for some people but like yourself and ppie no good to me as they act only on serotonin and can make my ocd 20 times worse before it gets better.As for clomipramine i always feel like its fixing several things in my brain chemistry which once they get fixed which fixs the next thing which fixs the next thing etc.... and i become myself nice and chilled with plenty of time for other people.
So will keep you updated on my first week back at work .
Oh and PPIE dont worry your orgasms will come back i promise .LOL (good job we all dont know each other haha )
Thanks Harley as positive input is what helps people more than someone moaning about meds that dont work and they never give them time.I know its a lottery when finding the right meds but you must work with your docter to go through the healing process rather than against him as he is only guessing how you feel but at the same time is monitoring your recovery.
Good luck porkpie i will be checking in on you this week. xxx

[bobbbyone]

Hi ppie
hope all is well in clomi land.Have done 1 week back at work which is always the worst when youve been off for weeks.I have accepted its an uphill struggle at the start but i have my stabillizers on and will take each day as it comes.Found my pure 'O' was always there taunting me when i was alone but when i was amoung lots of people i was distracted to the point of feeling like i was functioning normally.Which is a good thing.So onwards and upwards to peace of mind which is my goal to reach by the end of this year i hope.Anyways time for a nice bath followed by some yummy food lol.This is a good as it gets for the moment.Hope your doing ok in college matey. x