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Thread: obsessive thoughts (horrid) but im strong and know what they are

  1. #11

    Re: obsessive thoughts (horrid) but im strong and know what they are

    I am on day 4 at 35mg and as you say keep waking up every couple of hours for the toilet.woke up last night with a kids song repeating in my head.felt my Adrenalin kicking I but was able to switch it off.just hope I can get used to this dosage. Did a lot yesterday in and out of the house made feel a bit normal just hope in a couple of weeks will be ready to face work.did you feel this way at the start of your higher dosage purplepie?
    As for side effects boiled sweets for the dry mouth.As for constipation high fibre in your diet and loads of orange juice.The sex bit will come back once your body becomes used to your dosage.And as purplepie says you can lower your dosage as you become more stable.
    so do you definitely feel better and by which week did you start to feel like lifes worth living purplepie ?

    ---------- Post added at 08:09 ---------- Previous post was at 08:04 ----------

    Oh yeah sorry hugs to you both.
    Bobbbyone x

  2. #12

    Re: obsessive thoughts (horrid) but im strong and know what they are

    Hi Bobbyone and Purplepie!

    Thanks for the lengthy replies and support. Years ago I read the Linden method, and it prohibited me from discussing my problem with anybody else. But is it really that bad to seek out others with similar issues. It definitely helps me to find other people who have been having the same exact thoughts as me, and I now feel much better in the knowledge. Before, I kept questioning whether I did in fact have OCD at all, and that maybe I had some much more sinister mental health issues, and that I may one day act upon what I felt were sometimes like urges. but I suppose the accompanying guilt and worry is what singles it out as nothing more than intrusive worrying thoughts.

    It's also good to have people to discuss it with, as my husband seems to struggle taking to me about it, and seems to turn it around to be all about him, and how upset he feels about all of this!

    At least the anorgasm and problems with sex will hopefully fade when you come off the Clomipramine. After 5 years of being with my husband, wish his desire would take nosedive! Lol!

    Still scared to try the Escitalopram. Reading about it on here does not inspire me with the confidence to take a leap. Will re-read my OCD booklets, and another book I have found very useful in The Worry Cure. A lot of the chapters in there apply to me. I was hating a lot of other people for how I thought they were judging me all of the time, but the book has made me realise that it was my own judgement, not theirs that was the problem. Will try and make an effort to reconnect and maybe even make some new friends. My little boy has just started school, so there may be opportunities to 'get out more'. Working from home has turned me into a bit of a hermit, socially anxious and mistrusting and paranoid of just about everyone.

    Purplepie, hope that your consultant psychiatrist gets you some free CBT. We're paying £150 for a 1 hour session, and my CBT therapist says that I will need at least ten sessions. The expense comes with living on a small island, I suppose. The good news is that I find the sessions very helpful. The techniques I have learnt are brilliant for banishing the intrusive thoughts when my stress levels aren't too high, Bobbbyone.

    My therapist has also suggested anything to relax me like meditation (thought that that was just for hippies!), mindfulness (living in the moment, not dwelling on events in the past, or worrying what may happen in the future), massage (bliss!), pranayama (excellent if you can get past the annoying American man's voice on the iPad app), and taking long relaxing baths (still convinced that I may act on the urge to drown oneself -lol!).

    Once again, thanks for your kind, supportive posts.

    Think I'm going to try some amino acid and B-vitamin complexes along with Omega oils instead of the Escitalopram for now. Have even chickened out on taking the St John's Wort that a friend kindly recommended to me - I am a total wimp!

    Happy thoughts to you both!

    Niki

    At least the lac

  3. #13

    Re: obsessive thoughts (horrid) but im strong and know what they are

    Day 4 a real bummer headache and anxiety through the roof.Where you the same purplepie just after reasurrance finding it hard going to say the least !
    Day 5 anxiety really high just want to be well again.got to keep going :(
    Last edited by bobbbyone; 16-09-12 at 07:25.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    192

    Re: obsessive thoughts (horrid) but im strong and know what they are

    Hey bobbyone, I have been away for a couple of days, so apologies for late reply. How are you getting on with your 35mg?

    I have been ok, not great and I have felt on edge today. Thoughts haven't bothered me though which is good.

    I know that feeling of just wanting to be well. I thought after a year on lofepramine that I would be ok and three weeks later it was bump, back to square one. That's what frightens me the most - will I always need the meds.

    Anxiety, headaches and a multitude of other things can be your initial start up side effects, so stick with it and see how you get on. I am on week 6 now and the side effects have levelled off a bit.

    Keep posting as its good to monitor how you are getting on. Each med is different, but for me it's nice to talk to someone who is on the same med. So many people take ssri's but I think there is a lot to be said for trying a tricyclic like ours.


  5. #15

    Re: obsessive thoughts (horrid) but im strong and know what they are

    Hi purplepie
    yes I supose it is the initial start up have done 1 week on 35mg and the anxiety is sky high in a morning.as I wake about 5 and feel like I've lost the plot .but yesterdayhad a feeling of being okay for an hour but then went out to do some shopping and felt anxiety start again.got to go to docs today and ask for time off from work.they are going to love me.been off two weeks.havnt had any time off in 5 years though.going to ask doc if I should take tabs at night time.is then when you take yours ?
    Hope your feeling better ?
    Last edited by bobbbyone; 20-09-12 at 07:14.

  6. #16

    Re: obsessive thoughts (horrid) but im strong and know what they are

    Hi purplepie
    my docs upped dose to 50mg at bedtime.He is such a good docter and i am lucky to have him on my side.Also increased seroquel to max 4 a day if needed just to get me over the intial uppage of dose.Just got to watch the weight gain or ill be wearing jogging bottoms before i know it.lol.
    feel a slightly bit better thoughts still there but feel im heading in the right direction.Also signed me off for a month.People think your enjoying yourself on holiday (swinging the lead ) but i would much rather be in work earning some cash.Doctor said i must be alergic to alchol or even scared of it.As this is how my mind ends upping getting all sore and morbid.I hope i get to put a success story on here and maybe keep my eye out for people in the same perdicament who need advice when im better.
    Yes it does help as ive read your thread probably twice a day hoping you get better.And then me next lol.Anyway got a month of no pressure and all the bills are paid and its payday next week so hopefully can try and get a routine to finding my way out of this glitch.
    friendly hugs to my (not right in the head YET ) friend

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    192

    Re: obsessive thoughts (horrid) but im strong and know what they are

    Hi bobbyone, I am not feeling too bad but my anxiety on going out and doing new things is still there. I went to a college open day today and enrolled on some short courses to try to get me back into a routine, I was fine while I was there, I then went to pick up my Mum to call to the Next sale and I was ok for 10 mins and then went really hot and got a tight chest and felt a bit spaced out and panicky - I got through it but feel a bit drained, on edge and deflated now. I start to feel so positive and then something happens to set me back!!

    How are you getting on with the 50mg, I am so scared to go up becasue of the side effects, yet I don't know if the 40 is enough? My sleep has settled a little bit - how's yours? A good Doc is hard to find, mine , like yours has been great. I haven't worked now for 2 years and it is so frustrating but i just don't feel well enough. I was made redundant in Dec 2009 and because I felt so bad, I became the carer for my Sister, really to give me a break from having to sign on as there was no way I was fit for work. It was supposed to be short term and here I am still not right. You take as much time as you need, I know you will feel guilty for being off because I still do now, but going back to work when you are not well will do you no favours. You wouldn't go in if you had pneumonia, or something physical so why should your mental health be any different. I know people will think your swinging the lead, i used to be one of those people before all this happened to me, now I know what it's like and believe me, you wouldn't wish it on anyone - don't beat yourself up, it is an illness like any other.

    Alcohol doesn't do me any favours really, doesn't make me feel any better anyway and usually makes me feel more anxious. I think it affects people prone to anxiety much quicker then others. I do like a cold lager on a summer day though ha ha.

    Take care and speak soon.
    from your shaky, not right in the head, waiting on a psychiatrist appointment friend!

  8. #18

    Re: obsessive thoughts (horrid) but im strong and know what they are

    Hi purplepie
    . . . so far so good on 50mg muscle spasms in legs and arms , pins and needles in my head oh and body jolts in my sleep which wakes me.Side effects galore but getting used to them.hopefully they will subside and I will get to normality.
    i know I won't go back to work till im 75% better the other 25% I will get from being in work I hope.
    ah bless looking after your sister takes a good person to care for someone.As for the panic attack your always goin to get them its normal as long as you know its that.Still got intrusive thoughts but hopefully they will go.
    hope your set back doesn't stop you getting a full recovery.
    Best regards bobbbyone

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    192

    Re: obsessive thoughts (horrid) but im strong and know what they are

    How's it going bby1? I have had a virus this week and it's made me feel really low and I seem to be thinking what I can't do anymore rather than what I can. I started college on a 15 week into to counselling this week, which is a big step for me. I am hoping it will help me help others in the future.
    I am still on 40mg and see the doc in a couple of weeks for an update.
    Even thoough I am the carer for my Sister, I need to get my own life together anad I wold love to be back at work at least part time, but I seem to feel so guilty when I take a stance for my own well being - this is probably why I am ill in the first place!! . I am hoping my college courses lead to something productive.
    I am on 6 weeks of clomipramine today - where are you upto?

  10. #20

    Re: obsessive thoughts (horrid) but im strong and know what they are

    Hi Ppie (purplepie not porkpie)lol
    Defo going in the right direction with 50mg and taking 50mg of seroquel which helps me sleep and gives me an appeatite as i find food not very appealing when im like this.Starting to get some energy now and less ruminating and thinking about what i can do.So hopefully this will keep going in the right direction and i can think about going to work again.Ive done 2 weeks at 20mg 1week at 35mg and 5 days at 50mg.Doc says i may have to go to 60mg basically 50mg at bedtime and ten in the day at some point.Still not out the woods yet but do feel a bit more positive.
    Did you know a virus stops your meds from working ive had it happen to me a couple of times but as soon as youve shook the virus off they come back full force like a boost to the brain and you will feel better.
    Defo a step in the right direction to normal ville taking a college course it will keep you busy and is pro active.Also you have to make a stand against anxiety as it will rule your life so i think you will have to stop feeling guilty and go with the flow.But take your time.
    bby1 x

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