starting ven to moz for all out there who take it

[clio51]

happy birthday kit

well yesterday was bad all the way through till night time

couldnt settle anxiety high,thoughts of things going over and over things like why I am like this \/ why cant I feel relax? why do i feel out of sorts? and many more.
Do you guys have thoughts like these ? what are you like when your out of sorts? what feelings and thoughts do your have any like mine?

was back to not eating tea last night tried to push my self but you know when you get that feeling you really dont want something it was like that torture in a way. well the night didnt get any better I went freezing cold (I know it was colder last night) but that wasnt why just couldnt get warm heating was on and I had hot water bottle as well took about 2 hours to feel calmer and warmer was doing wordsearch and bit of novel reading to take mind off it. was dreading going to bed in case I couldnt sleep!! but managed ok while to get off.

This morning woke 7.40 its like a instant thing with me on how I feel my mouth is dry and a film coating on tongue which when \i touch or feel makes me feel sick my be hence the heaving my stomach also was jittery this is the start of my day and it brings me down and today my anxiety is high cant settle dont know what do do with myself everything seems an effort thoughts going round head. Back on the diazepam to calm me down \9 worried \i might come to rely on these
I dont work im on esa havnt worked for 9 years, but this last year as been horrible more downs than ups. Have suffered with cronic anxiey and depression on and off for over 30 years I am 55 years old

how long have you guys been suffering? do you have simalar symptoms as me? whats yours like? how do you manage when your in a melt down ?

sorry
for going on, asking questions but I feel am I the only one with these symptoms?

[kittikat]

Thank you for the birthday wishes xx

Sorry you are not feeling so good.....are you just on the ven & diaz now? Maybe some withdrawal from your other meds but first couple of weeks I have been very up & down, lost my appetite completley (it's coming back now) very dry mouth still. I have had the shakes, high anxiety, been freezing cold, things going around my head or just numb...all pretty manageable though some a bit unpleasent. It is definitely starting to get better for me so there is hope!!

I have had this on and off for around 6 years now, had CBT twice, I am still seeing the therapist now, she has really helped me to manage the symptoms although it takes some time to get it. My melt downs have become less frequent but I think that is because I am also on diazepam. Hang in there...it all sounds pretty normal and you know the first few weeks are the worst, it's still early days for you.

Take care, big hugs Kitti x

[clio51]

thanks Kit
how many cbt you had now and have they said you can have? what are your problems if you dont mind me asking?

No I take half a cipralex 1 37.5 mg venlofaxine 1 5mg prochlorperazine and when bad 2mg diazepam

still feel crap my mouth is also like a sandpit(never noticed this bad before) only had weebabix and piece of bread, partner took me out shopping didnt want to go really but pushed myself really hard to do. felt as if walking around I wanted to cry feeling really down. few panicky feelings the ones that make you ready to flee type.
I get this strong feeling that I cant cope or take anymore of this and I get a powerful thought that I want to be in hospital and let somebody help me as I cant do this, this happens when i am in melt down and my partner is not enough for me maybe cause if really doesnt know what it is really like for me hell I feel sorry for him having to put up with me again on melt down so why do i keep getting the same question coming back into my head dont think im handling it well as I dont when I have symptoms it freeks me out and the first think to go is my appetite. mental health worker do think understands rang him today and all he says is try to eat a little how the f... can I when I dont physically want it also I dont think he realizes how hard it is weening off meds starting cbt and now at the worse time of the morning for me 10am anxiety management group. all this is getting on top of me and the what he says to me \i feel like shouting back you dont know what its like!!

how do you manage your symptoms? what do you do? how do you switch of from thoughts and symptoms?
any info and help to sort me out please

[kittikat]

Hey hun, I have anx/panic/agoraphobia which led to depression....the depression bit is all new to me although I felt it coming....

I had 12 sessions of CBT about 5 years ago, mainly for the panic attacks, it did help, but I was on diazepam then too. I had a complete meltdown last November and have been having therapy weekly since April. I find it easier to handle the anxiety, 'just let it do it's thing' she says, it won't hurt you, welcome it and go with it...something like that. It's the agoraphobia and the depression I am finding harder to handle, positive thinking is really not easy when you are so low and feel like you have no life ahead of you....I am scared to go out alone, I have managed to make a small comfort zone for myself as long as it's not too far or somewhere really busy...I rely so heavily on my partner, he has become my 'safe person' and I really must try to understand that I can do things by myself....

I have felt really low and had a cry this afternoon, I'm sure it's the meds, ups & downs....I have had a couple of good days but there is always things going around my head that are hard to switch off...negative things. The only solace I have is that I am sleeping really well on the Ven, too much really, I am tired all the time and lack motivation. I guess it's just a waiting game and getting the dose right....

I have been signed off work for the past 8 weeks, it's soul destroying for me but I know if I went back tomorrow it would do me more harm than good atm. Sometimes I read, listen to music, watch a film.....but mostly I just feel imprisioned in this nightmare. I am trying to be optimistic though, it's the only way I can cope. I just keep telling myself it WILL get better and the old me will come back. Sometimes I can switch off, sometimes I can't. I am sure your therapy will help you deal with these intrusive & unwanted thoughts a little better Keep me posted, Kitti x

[clio51]

hiya
god you are really brave managing to go to work in your melt down in nov. you seem a positive person. so have you been on diaz since then? how old are your Kitti?

my melt down was sept last year and ive had about 2 more meltdowns since
I have panic attacks chronic anxiety and depression. I have cut myself off from family and dont really have any close friends and dont go out socially .I dont know why I have done this my world is becoming smaller but its the only way I can cope at the mo. I dont really know how its all come about and got so bad.
i didnt what to know i suppose what problems my family were having or the calling each other.

trying to be calmer doing bit reading, wordsearch( which I never thought I would do) and if I can be interested tv

take care xx

how is everybody else doing this week?

[clio51]

Hi Kitti

how's your day been?

another horrible morning for me again, god I wish all these sensation will bloody go. had a bit of headache for last 3 days dont know if its the concentration on the wordsearch (ha) had diaz 10 mins after getting up to caml me down little pushed myself at breakfast which was 11.30 from getting up at 9am like being forced fed.

managed my 3rd cbt session, its at the assessment stage 4 weeks then we will see if its what I want and then decide how many sessions.

have you been having cbt since april ?

[kittikat]

Hi hun,

It seems like you are getting a few side effects now...be patient, they will subside, mine have definitely eased off although I am very anxious/shakey in the mornings. My appetite is definitely better now but still hard to eat first thing when taking the tablet...I can just about manage a biscuit. I know others have said they had headaches but I didn't get them thankfully. I have been very low since yesterday afternoon, cried a lot, very flat and down, the worst I have felt since starting ven, I may need an increase, I'll see what the doc says on Monday.

Great to hear you are managing the CBT sessions, I hope it helps you. Btw, I am in my 40's...and yes I have been having CBT since April, weekly sessions, she has been great and extended it twice (I was initially only supposed to be having 12) I am going 2 weekly now which will take me through to November.

Stay strong, you are actually doing really well. Thinking of you Kitti x

---------- Post added at 17:47 ---------- Previous post was at 17:44 ----------

Oh, by the way, I totally get what you said about cutting yourself off, not socialising and your world getting smaller....that's exactly what happened to me, although my family have been great, they just don't quite get it.

[clio51]

hi

soz your feeling upset, nothing worse than feeling down which bring the tears on
if I do that I end up with headache! but they just come times and you cant stop them somebody just as to say the wrong thing and the tears start I know how you feel(not that that makes it any better) bet you can't wait for mon at doc's

you don't seem phased by the symptoms you get the shakes etc
how do you manage it?
as its those that hold me back, I don't handle them well they freek me out.

my family say they understand and are good, but its me I get scared ( pathetic at 54) if I have an attack or get symptoms it makes me want to flee the scene

xx

[kittikat]

I think I learned how to 'manage' it from the CBT, it's just a symptom of anxiety, it's not going to hurt or harm me...the best thing to do is just to ignore it and carry on regardless, if you don't it's like a vicious circle of worry and you end up getting all the other symptoms too, racing heart, dizzy, scared, panicky....I know it isn't easy, anxiety and your response to it is a learned behaviour...you just have to try and carry on as if it isn't there....easier said than done, I know. It doesn't always work, but it sure helps to look at it that way. Even my panic attacks are more manageable now and less frequent, not nice at all, but as I said before, I learned to say ok, do your thing, I'm not going to die or anything and I know it will pass eventually. It's still scarey, don't get me wrong, that's why I can't go far from home. But I am learning to deal with it I guess.... xx

[clio51]

hi everyone
how as your day been today?

mines not been to bad , bad start this morning as usual wish it would do one
forcing myself to eat a bit more going to have snack in a while. wish I could just do it without having to ponder over it.