So after 8 weeks of pure hell being back on citalopram for the second time, I think I have at last found the answer to why it is in fact making me feel worse and not better.
The kindling effect - the kindling effect is when an SSRI that you took previously either doesn't work when you try to reinstate or goes paradoxical on you.
I have read quite a few posts about this and can relate to something at last!!
for anyone who is interested here are some post from other people who restarted an ssri and what happened...
I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I went from being a fully functional relatively happy person that was experiencing a mild funk to an anxious, akathasia ridden, suicidally depressed person within a week of starting the drug.
As you can see from my signature, I sufferred a severe adverse reaction to Prozac. I was on it for 8 weeks then quit ct 7 months ago. Since that time there have been improvements with my physical symptoms, but my emotional symptoms have not yet improved.
I would describe myself as having been a fairly calm, positive, content, and independent person before my severe adverse reaction to Prozac. Yes, I was in a bit of a funk after my miscarriage, but I was by no means depressed. I was still happily working (I'm self employed) and enjoying my favorite hobbies (tennis, reading, decorating the house, and hanging out with my dogs and husband) and making plans for the future. Life is never perfect, but I was enjoying myself for the most part with very few complaints. Then…I take a supposedly safe anti-depressant and BAM within a week I’m dealing w/suicide ideation, sever anxiety, severe depression, questioning my sanity on a daily basis, along with a host of other debilitating side effects that refuse to go away even after discontinuation of the drug.
This particular woman also suffered with a protracted withdrawel after her adverse effects. It did go but took 18 months.
The next extract is from a medical paper about recovery from an adverse effect
When you suffered a reaction to an (SSRI) antidepressant your nervous system becomes hyper-sensitive to ALL stimuli. What are stimuli? It is everything that acts on your nervous system (directly or indirectly) like light, sound, but also violence on TV, stressors, certain supplements or fabricated vitamins, etc. All these things act as stimulants to your nervous system. Actually the effects of a psychoactive drug and watching a horror movie are very much comparative to each other...that is: they BOTH act on your nervous system!
The key solution to recovery is NOT to stimulate your nervous system, but, to sedate your nervous system. Every time when you stimulate a nervous system that in fact needs to be sedated to recover, you delay the process of healing. We know it will be impossible to lock your self up in a dark, silent room and this is definitely not what we are trying to say. You just have to learn when to withdraw yourself (and thus your nervous system) from stimuli and when to come out.
This peice explains to me why I feel at my most comfortable alone in the bedroom with the curtains closed, its the lack of stimulation on my central nervous system.
Here is another extract from the same paper explaining how you may feel after stopping an ssri after an adverse reaction...
In these first 3-18 months the cycles or the emotional rollercoasters (the tricks your brain is playing on you) can be extremely frightening. And it will seem like it never ends, especially when you find a bit of hope in the evening to be back at square one in the morning. Be firm! We all understand its the most frustrating experience right now for you. It's serotonin related and that's why you are experiencing delayed (withdrawal) side effects and flashbacks, but gradually it will get better. Evaluate your recovery by weeks and months, not days.
You are going to experience minutes, hours and days that you will start to feel better. The cycles will get longer in duration and eventually you will have more good then bad days. Though, it is most important you also treat your nervous system with care during these better days. Don't think when the better days arrive that you can charge your nervous system like you always did before. It will give you a major set-back! Stick to the list we provide you below, on how to assist your recovery during this period.
Friends and Family
These times are very tough to experience. Your friends and family cannot even imagine the powerful influence these drugs have on your mind and your sub-consciousness. They simply cannot believe that these drugs can have such a powerful effect on someone's brain. You might loose your trust in them after this. Try to accept and understand their ignorant and frustrating reactions. Avoid them for a while, if that's possible.
and I will end on this positive post about an adverse reaction to restarting an ssri
I posted some observations on this list concerning recovery from an SSRI adverse reaction. This is a special message to all those still suffering: Be assured that recovery does happen. The human body has a wonderful capacity for self repair.
Prozac ( Paxal and the rest ) do not cause brain damage, but can paralyse or disable certain functions -for a while. Fortunately, the effect is temporary. I can`t tell you how long it takes to get better because we are all very individual in our body chemistry.
I am fortunate to be able to be able to look back along the course of the chemical storm that made me so ill. Eventually, it will be only an unpleasant memory ( a bit like a visit to the dentists ). So people, in those moments when you are freaking out, remember that you are going to get better. That much is inevitable.
Sort out your medications and be prepared to ask several doctors until you are satisfied.
Take things slowly and learn to take pleasure in simple acheavments.
-then one day, you will regain that feeling of being happy.
from what I have read, this kindling effect can happen the second, third, forth, fifth time you restart an ssri, or may not happen at all. Nicola, I believe this is what happened to you on your 4th try and why it didnt work.
This is what has happened to me.
The drs just want to keep upping and upping the dose but I know in my heart and mind that its not right, I have only been worse since starting. I have tapered down to 20mg again after 5 days on 30mg, I guess I will have to taper really slowly after messing around with the dosage so much.
For anyone who wants to read the full thread it can be found here]
http://www.depressionforums.org/foru...ll-recovering/
but its a bit scary in places so read with caution.
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