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Thread: An open letter to a shop assistant.

  1. #1
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    An open letter to a shop assistant.

    Dear Shop Assistant,
    Yesterday I came in to your shop to buy my daughter some clothes. Nothing unusual about that I know, except that coming in your shop to me, felt like the worse thing that you could ever think of happening, happening to you. There must be something that you are scared of, and I am scared of your shop.

    I managed quite well for almost an hour. I chatted to your colleague who talked to me about how hot the shop was. That reassured me because I then felt the heat wasn't only the panic inside me. I even managed to go into the changing rooms at the back of the shop. This took every coping strategy I have ever learned , but I made it.

    And then I came to your till. I chatted to you as you rang through my items. I didn't really want to know anything about you, but you see by chatting, it took my mind away from being trapped at the till point. What a pity you ignored me. You gave me the total and as my hands went to my purse they shook so much, I couldn't get the money very quickly. You tutted.

    I would like you to know that by this time my legs were also shaking, my heart was thumping and a huge wave of panic swept through me. I began to wonder if I would get out of your shop alive, it was that bad. I walked away from you and my daughter took the change. You muttered about how rude I was and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, but I had to get outside where the fresh air would hit me and bring me to my senses. I wanted to cry, but I had my daughter with me so we went off to the next shop, where incidentally, the lady who put my goods through the till chatted to me all about her daughter's wedding. I felt better then.

    I know you could never know what I was feeling. I was just another customer to you. But just maybe next time you could be more patient, because one day you may be just as afraid as I am. I hope that never happens to you.

    Best wishes,
    Christine

  2. #2
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    Christine,

    Sometimes it helps to put your thoughts down... I am so proud at how brave you were and how well you done and just very sorry you came across someone like this assistant.

    Pls remember that most people are not like this and carry on the good work!! it is great that you carried on your shopping trip and didn't crumble and have to go home

    Be very proud of yourself
    Lucky

  3. #3
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    Hi Christine

    I can so relate to what you have written, even thought I know im not alone it still amazes me that there are people out there who feel exactly how I do.

    Thats brilliant that you stayed there for an hour and even managed another shop afterwards. Im certain I would have made for a swift exit home and gone to bed in tears but you did so well!!

    take care
    Love Sarah
    xx

    we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution

  4. #4
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    Christine,

    Wow, you did sooo well and I love your letter.
    Most congratulations are due though for carrying on as you did so fantastically.

    Brilliant progress.

    Sarah - Once you may have done that but after your last few weeks would you still or are you talking about yourself several months ago now. Maybe it's time for you to update your expectations of yourself !



    Meg

    'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'

    Dr.David Livingstone

  5. #5
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    Hi Meg

    I do still get like that on occasion, not as often as I used to but it still comes out of the blue sometimes (maybe 1 in 4 shopping trips). I think I deal with it better than I used to but because its not quite so common with me now, when it does happen it scares the living daylights out of me (sometimes I think more than when it was a constant thing to deal with).
    Dont worry Meg, I do have higher expectations of myself now and each time I go out I dont always seem to have the sense of impending doom that I used to. Sometimes I even get excited at the thought of shopping which hasnt been in my vocabulary for 2 years now so thats got to be a positive
    Maybe ive got to push myself harder now..I seem to be on a plateau where im not moving forewards too much but even this plateau isnt comfortable most of the time. I still have a battle in my head each time even though im in no way as bad as I used to be.
    Time to adjust my though processes I guess?

    Thanks Meg

    love Sarah
    xx


    we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution

  6. #6
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    christine,your a very brave lady,if any therapists had read your post,i do hope they wrote it down,then perhaps some of them will realise,that at the end of a session,and they tell the patient to walk around tescos three times tomorrow,just how hard it really is!!
    just a tip christine,when shopping,have a small bottle of mineral water,with a few drops of bach rescue in it,keep it in your bag,and just sip,as your walking around..ideal,this time of year,no one will look twice at you...well done matey...bryan.

  7. #7
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    Christine, I agree with that letter 100%

    I think you did excellently and coped very well indeed.
    Don't let one rude uncaring grumpy shop assistant put you off.

    Love, light and Best wishes
    Liz xxx
    With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
    The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


    []Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

  8. #8
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    Christine,
    Wow, you did so well you must be chuffed to bits! I know exactly how you felt that day and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
    So many people dont stop and think about whats going on in other peoples lives, they just see things as an inconvenience and make judgements on face value.
    Since having my problems I make an effort to cut people some slack if they seem a bit 'off' because you never know whats going on in their head or in their life.

    Hats off to you girl, well done.

    Caroline
    x

  9. #9
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    Hi All,
    Thank you all so much for your kind comments. I suppose I was quite pleased with myself when I got home on Tuesday, but sadly on Wednesday I couldn't make it out the front door, and today I panicked in my local "safe" shop that I usually don't worry too much about because I go in it so much.

    It seems that shopping trip took it out of me and I had rather hoped it would do the opposite and set me along the right track again. At least I know I can do it if I need to, but oh, how I long for the days when shopping will be a pleasure again!

    Best wishes,
    Christine

  10. #10
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    Christine,

    Boy do I know how that feels! I think after feeling that immense and overwhelming panic especially if you haven't had a full blown PA for a while it kind of scares you and does set you back a bit. Well in my experience it does.
    However I think if you continue with the little things and don't stay indoors dwelling the memory of how awful it was will fade and you'll soon be out there again on new ground.

    Good luck,
    Caroline
    x

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