going round in circles

[sadie]

Hi all,

I feel like I am going round and round in circles with my anxiety. I have suffered now for 3.5 years and I would say over the last year and half it has been less severe but still enough to cause me stress.

There have been times when I have felt like I have got my anxiety under control and then suddenly I am back into panic mode. I am definetly back into panic mode at the moment.:(

I have been seeing a Kinesiologist which has been great. I have been receiving lots of positive benefits from this therapy but I havent seen her for 5 weeks and I feel I slipping back into my old negative thinking ways!!! I see her again on Saturday so hopefully I will feel a bit better again.

I had my last palpitations at Xmas and New year until saturday night. I was at a birthday party, where I had a couple of drinks which has been the first in months and at the end of the night I had the worse panic attack ever. I was so upset because I just felt I couldnt cope and I felt weak and stupid.

I have noticed however over the last few weeks that I have been worrying about my symptoms again, in particular my chest pains, dizziness, irregular heart beats etc... I still have the 'what if' thoughts. I keep thinking 'what if ' now I have a heart problem due to all this worry and stress. I just dont know how I will get over this fear.

I have been feeling a bit down lately too due to some stress at work and I had some stress in the family too. I just feel I will always be like this because I just cant get over the hurdle of believing that there is nothing physically wrong with me. I read the notes on the home page of this forum and Nicola wrote...unless you believe you are physically ok you will not start the healing process. I think this is my problem...I just cant seem to believe that I am ok.

Does anyone else feel like me?[:0]

I am sorry for going on and on about how crappy I am feeling, I know you have all got your own anxiety to cope with. I guess I just needed to get things of my chest.

Take care

sadie

[sarah]

Hiya Sadie

Yes I totally feel the same way. In fact I was at the doctors today and discussed it with her so she upped my medication [?]

Ive had a really good couple of weeks lately but a couple of times I have started to feel the old symptoms coming back again...tight and achey chest, faster heartbeat, nausea etc.
Its driving me mad because I have been doing so well and then it kicks me back down again.

In 6 days time I will have been suffering for 2 years and like you say im nowhere near as bad as I was, I can function fairly well on my own with a few limitations but these limitations feel like they close in when the symptoms come back to haunt you again dont they?

The only thing I can say (here goes the voice of reasoning..lol) is dont give in. You were so much worse before and you got over it(to a degree), you will do it again. I know its hard and dissapointing but its definately possible.

Did you write a diary when you were at your worst? Look back or think back to how it was for you then and take comfort in the fact that you have done so well to get this far you can get back up there again!

Take care hon and dont worry about off loading on us, its what we are here for!!!

love Sarah
xx


we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution

[sadie]

Thanks Sarah

To be honest I just needed to get my thoughts out on paper (so to speak). I dont really talk to anyone about my anxiety anymore apart from my husband as I feel everyone thinks I am just back to my old self whe I am clearly not. You guys are the only ones I can really talk to.

I just keep thinking to myself that people will get bored of me as they will be thinking 'here she goes again...moaning or talking about her health again'. Its not really a particularly nice trait to be self-obsorbed is it???

Anyway, thanks for listening and I hope you feel ok too.

sadie

[april tones]

hi sadie, so sorry to hear your down.Try not to worry, i felt like that other week, as if i was going backwards. I thought i was gonna be ill again, next day i was fine. Think it was cos i hardly slept as my little boy has been up in night with teething. I feel loads better and know from earlier episode of this that you do get better. Try writing list of things you have improved on and you will see how far you have really come, speak soon, love april. Ps i hardly have p.attacks but get chest symptoms alot and palpitations, doc said its normal. Mine have only just started too x

apriltones

[sarah]

Hiya Sadie

I only really let it out to you guys too. Anyone else and I just say 'yeah im still nuts' and change the subject..lol. I dont want people to get bored with me!

love Sarah
xx

we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution

[kate]

Hiya Sadie,

I also feel like I've been going round in circles for the last heaven knows how many years!

I also feel that people will be thinking that I'm moaning, cos thats all I ever seem to do!

Still, who else understands us as well as fellow panickers??

Take care

Kate x

[sadie]

Thanks April and Sarah,

I know I will pick myself up again, I think I just get annoyed with myself sometimes and I get tired of feeling the same way all the time. I do know that its down to me to change it and I will keep at it, its just I feel a bit down just now.

Thanks for the support though.

sadie

[sadie]

Thanks Kate,

Im glad Im not alone that I have you guys to help pick me up again. Atleast we all know how each other is truley feeling!

Take care

sadie

[benoo5]

hi sadie,never worry about posting!as just writing it down is part of the healing process.ime sorry your feeling so bad at the moment,so maybe we need to rethink wots happening! it seems to me your spending too much time thinking about your symptoms,i dont mean that in a rude way,but trying to be constructive!

when this happens,we have to distract our mind,its not easy to do,but with practice,over a period of a week or so,can be rewarding..a new hobby..painting..jigsaws..simple crosswords..felt pens/paint by numbers can be fun..writing poems..try something new,that you havent tried before,in fact anything that will distract your mind,even if its just for a few minutes,it will be giving your emotions,a well deserved breather!

keep posting matey,we all care about you....bryan.

[sadie]

Bryan

I know what you are saying is right, it has been said before by Meg, hubby and my kinesiologist. I do need to occupy my mind more with a hobby and I know I need to make an effort with this. I feel annoyed with myself as it must seem like I am not listening and not wanting to help myself but thats not true. I really do but I just dont seem to have the same willpower or determination anymore....this is something I need to push myself with.

Thanks for listening to me....again!!!

Take care


sadie