Its been a while

[Jen84]

hey Sam
I know exactly how you feel(its so similiar to how i was) i was 17 when i first started being anixous. I was the same as you...always dealing with other people's problems but i never could tell anyone about mine! its now 3 years on and only now do my friends know everything!(try to let them know ur abit:(
I know now the reason i had problems was change i didnt know what direction to go in and i felt pressure from every side! and like you i watched my life away (i still do now sometimes), i always wished one day everything would be fine!somehow like magic my worries would disappear!bet thats how u feel!?
Ok so advice keep a diary i do! its a great release and no one has to see it but you! and i think you should tell ur parents(well at least your mum) My mum has been amazing and it will really help you, even if its just taking you to the doctors! think about it they are probably more worried now cos u wouldnt tell them whats up!
Also i used to go out alot when i was ur age and when i started panicing i would still go but drink alot!not a good idea! try not to drink when ur feeling low it only makes you feel worse!
i hope this help (and makes sense), you are not alone remember that! try everyday do something that makes you smile, even just alittle thing will make u feel better!
Love Jenny xx

[Samantha]

hi jenny, thanks for replying

By writing on here this is the first time that i have been really able to tell people how i feel, and i know that by doing it i know that it will be understood. At school i am friends of everyone but friends of no one, if that makes sense, i have no real close friends i am there for people when they need some help or someone to talk to but i have no one who i can talk to. I feel sort of isolated and worry if i were to tell someone what would they think? Its as though theres two sides to me the one that has all the feelings and the other which hides the first and protects me from getting hurt by not letting people in. I've got to the point where its finally begining to reach the surface and im scared what if it comes out but at the same time i know if it does i will be able to get some help. I want to let my mum know but feel as though i am protecting her by not. how did u tell your mum how you were feeling, if you dont mind me asking. Its just i cant bare to worry her or any of my family because i would do anything to protect them but i know by not telling her she is becoming increasingly more worried and keeps asking if everythings ok.

For the past couple of weeks i have been sleeping really badly and now feel completely exhausted both mentally and physically. Im considering taking something to help me sleep but im determkined not to go on any meds or pills which is one reason im not keen on going to the doctors. I am so fed up and exhausted i just wish everything would stop but i know that it wont go away just by hoping it will or ignoring it, and that it will take time. Ive been reading up on a couple of things and a lot of it says that stress can shorten your life over a prolonged amount of time and can result in othere problems, which frightens me.

I have never kept a diary and im paranoid at starting one in case any one in my family were to come across it, im already paranoid that they mind find this forum because i dont feel ready to tell them yet. Ive decided to try and go to a dropin councelling consultation in my near by town this week, to see if it helps.

Sam

[Jen84]

Hey Sam
Of course i dont mind you asking...basically i didnt tell her, it was the end of the summer holidays and i was very worried about goin back to school!it was goin to be my final year of a-levels. I was on the way to school and i had a major panic (i didnt know what they were at the time) my mum took me home i walked through the door and collapsed, i was taken to the docs and i was told i was suffering from nervous exhaustion!
I dont mean to scare you!it wont happen to you.but i think my mum found that hard to deal with because i hadnt opened up to her sooner!
Do go and see a councellor it will help!!!!!!
Take care
Jen x

[Samantha]

Hi, i just thought id put a quick message into say that im going to go and see a councellor tomorrow for a consultation, luckily i can do it in the town centre. Am feeling quite anxious about it but i know that it will help, thank you all for your support.

Sam

[sarah]

Hiya Sam

Good on you for going and doing something about it.
I hope you get on ok.
Let us know how it goes wont you?

take care
Love Sarah
xx

we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution

[stimpy]

Hi Sam

You have been ever so brave in discussing your problems with us. Well Done.

I'm so very pleased that you have put your fears to one side to get help.

Good Luck, and let us know how you get on.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[andrew]

hi sam, well done for managing to sort out a counsellor consultation and i hope it goes well for you. you might feel a bit anxious - who wouldn't - but im sure you'll cope alright.
you take care andrew

[Samantha]

Hi everyone, thankyou very much for your support it really has helped.

I nearly didnt make it, after turning back twice and pacing up and down outside the carpark i went and stood under the sign for ten minutes outside trying to talk myself out of going. If it hadnt been for one of the councellors opening the door to help someone out noticing me i wouldnt have gone through with it. i thought of all the help you've all given me and knew it was the right thing to do. The person who i spoke too said that she could see i was becoming increasingly anxious and was very supportive to me, i felt as though she understood how i was feeling. It did help but i felt as though i didnt know how much to tell her because i werent sure if i could trust her but the more we talked the more relaxed i became. Ive decided that im going to back next week but this time remember my rescue remedy so that i can avoid shaking. I still havent told my mum how im feelingbut have decided that in time i will i just need to deal with some of the stuff thats going on inside me first. Untill then i cant arrange specific times but i can do drop in sessions when im in town, im hoping next time it will be easier to walk through the door, lol. I have a school dance tonight and am really anxious i know it will be ok once i get through the door but im terrified of going through the door and am dreading it part of me thinks it would be best to stay at home because i can then avoid the people who are going but if i continue not to do these things ill always end up avoiding them. Unfortunately only soft drinks so im going to have to rely on deep breaths and a lot of positve thinking to get me through the night.

Thankyou all for your support

Sam

Positive thinking is the key to success!

[sarah]

Hiya Sam

Really well done for plucking up the courage to go to see the councellor. You have taken a positive 1st step towards helping yourself so im really proud of you mate!!!
I hope you feel more confident and less shakey next time eh?

Im sure you will be fine at the dance tonight. Go and have a good time. Like you say, you will be fine once you go through the door. Go get em girl!!!

love Sarah
xx


we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution

[andrew]

hi sam, i was really pleased to read that you managed the 'counselling' despite being very anxious, good for you. hopefully you will gain positive benefits from it.
try and go to the dance, im sure you'll be ok once your through the doors. if its not any good or your not enjoying it, you can always leave - but i hope you have a good time.
take care andrew