serious health fears

[panic12]

Firstly let me introduce myself, I am 18 year old male, and my anxiety is ruining my life, I apologize in advance for spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes and just general rambling.

It all started about 6 months back, one night when I was lying in bed I felt a little tight chested (I have asthma, I have had it since I was 9) so I googled it...wrong move I know, but after about 5 minutes of searching I was convinced I had heart disease and was dying from it. The next day and for the next month afterwards I felt like I couldn't take a deep breath in which convinced me there was something wrong. So as you can imagine I was 24/7 non stop panic mode. I then noticed that my hands were shaking and a little un co-ordinated so I googled it (yes I know...) and then convinced myself that the combination of the 2 was MS. So my anxiety and fears got worse and worse and some how or another I ended up thinking that what I actually had was parkinsons disease. Yes I know its completely stupid at my age but thats what it was, I got to the point where I had accepted that I was going to die young. Now heres what happened next, I started to notice floaters in my eyes, and I have a little black spot in the corner of my eye thats not a floater, just a tiny spec that follows my eyes and stays still when I stare forward, I can't quite focus on this little spot but its definatley there because I can see it when I move my eyes, so now i'm convined I have a brain tumor and that there is no other explanation for all my symptoms, I must have a tumor and i'm going to die young. Now every time that I find something about my body, for example eye and jaw ache, muscle twitching, blocked left nostril which has a very weak sense of smell compared to my right one, what I do is go to my good friend dr google and type in my symptoms followed by '......brain tumor' and find a website somewhere that links my problems and convinces me even more. I am pretty much at the point now where I can't enjoy life, I love my job i'm an apprentice joiner but all I can think about is these stupid symptoms, I feel that my teenage years are passing by so quickly, I have no bills or money worries (I get a wage for gods sake) all my friends are out having fun enjoying life and not worrying about anything. I have no appetite, can't enjoy the things I love and just want to cry, I have always gone to the gym in the past, I had six pack abs and was the fittest person out of all my friends, I just can't motivate myself anymore. Today I had a day off work and instead of doing what a normal person would do and spending my money, going out, watching films all day etc etc, I spent the day googling symptoms scaring myself shitless and getting to the point where I just feel like I can't go on like this anymore. I am going to to book my self at the doctors this next week to sort out my symptoms once and for all so I can finally get on with my life. I know i'm not alone but it feels like it, I just don't want to be me anymore, someone please cheer me up... please :'(

List of current symptoms:
tiredness
floaters and black spot in vision
nose blocked of left side constantly
keep needing to pee, I kinda worked out this is because im anxious all the time.
random muscle spasms in random parts of the body that last like 1-5 seconds
kinda light headed (I feel like this is in my head as its only really there when I think about it)

[Annie0904]

The dangerous Doctor Google strikes again! I am so pleased it wasn't around when I was younger. They do sound like symptoms of anxiety and the more you google symptoms the more anxious you will get. I advise that you make an appointment with your doctor and talk to him about your symptoms, he may also suggest counselling for you. Stop googling!! sending you

[panic12]

I really appreciate you taking the time to reply, I am definatly going to see the doctor this week, I can't go on like this it's ruining my life

[Annie0904]

I hope you get the help and support you need and you can always get support on here also

[panic12]

I don't feel like I can talk about this to my mum, or any other family members about this when ever I mention anything she pretty much tells me to grow up and stop being stupid. Thank you for your replies it really is making me feel better, especially writting it down like I did, it kinda let it all out My dad and his mum both have terrible health anxiety maybe thats where I get it from.

[Annie0904]

My dad was the same so I think it can be learnt behaviour.

[Laura123]

Defo a learned behaviour. My advice like Annie says is to stop googling, I know this because I used to do what you do and once you stop yourself googling everything you don't feel half as bad, if you get a symptom, allow yourself 24 hours with it, see if it goes, but don't google, if still there 24 hours later make an appointment with your gp. This is one if those ocd's that can get so out if hand and lead on to dreadful anxiety. Once you fixate on your body it's very hard to stop. X

[panic12]

Thank you for your reply, I must stop googling, I think this is the longest ive been without googling a symptom in 6 months lol (it's been 3 hours), i'm driving myself mad

[abby38]

Hi.. sorry to read you're having such a hard time. I definitely agree with the others about stopping googling, I have diagnosed myself with every different cancer thanks to good old dr google lol.

Get yourself off to the dr's and let him reassure you then hopefully you will feel much better. Remember next time you get a symptom to step away from google (I know how hard it is as I'm guilty of doing the same so many times).

Take care

[MRS STRESS ED]

Sorry to here your not to good ,I understand you goggling things I done it aswell ,but lol I had given myself every illness known to man lol but im still here ,go to your doctor I did eventually and that really helped me AND NO MORE GOGGLE XXXX