How long will this last, i cant take much more!

[hannah26]

Hi Ally,

I'm on day 26 aswell!! This is my first day of 20mg. How are you feeling?
Hannah x x

[ally2012]

Hehe.... is that 'Cit Snap'? ;-)

I've been up and down....just glad that there are some ups now. I find the all-consuming nature of the downs fairly irritating (ha...there's an understatement). Very much looking forward to it evening out. I've had some fairly tough moments in life, but this is one of the hardest things I've been through I think. As I said before, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger xxx

[cos123]

Hi Ally and Hannah and everyone: My progress seems to mirroring yours Ally, although I'm only about 20 days in with the cit. I too was at an arena event and felt overwhelmed and anxious (well that's putting it mildly) felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I miss having a few drinks too when we go out, but after having some white wine a few nights ago, just a glass, felt nice for about an hour, then wham the anxiety was like triple, so I guess that's off the table for a while.
I'm going back to work tomorrow after being off a month, and I'm hoping it will be okay. I've lost a bunch of weight & I know people are going to be asking me why I was off so long and I don't know what to say. Part of me just feels like saying I'm suffering from depression and anxiety and the other part doesn't want them to know. People look at you different sometimes when they know and its a horrible feeling.
Guys: Say some prayers to whoever or whatever you think helps us that I get through the day in one piece.
cos123

[ally2012]

Hi Cos....how did your first day back at work go? Hope it went ok xx

[cos123]

Hi Ally: I'm getting through it but it ain't easy. People were happy to see me and told me my replacement was nuts (which made me laugh inside, if they only knew what state I've been in the last few weeks) Nice to be missed though.

Therapist appointment after work, I'm so exhausted I hope I can take anything in.
How are you doing today?

[little scientist]

You know cos, it's really good to realise that you were missed doesn't it?

I had to leave my job for 6 months after the person I was covering for decided to return to her job. She returned, then handed in her notice almost immediately. I had to reapply do,r my old job back (unfortunately I couldn't just be given the job back)

Me being me, always told myself that I was rubbish at my job etc, but as time went on, people kept telling me they wanted me back in that post, they missed my friendly face and my willingness to help others get their work done. I had no idea (and still need telling!) that I was so well respected by my fellow workers, or appreciated. My line manger in the position also took me to one side to ask if i would apply to go back to the job! People have said they are very happy to see me back in my post (which is now permanent). And I hope to now be able to develop the role further over time

[ally2012]

Cos123 - yay! glad it went well

Little Scientist - well done you too...it's nice to read positive things

[cos123]

Hi Little Scientist: oh do you speak the truth!!! I have always felt exactly the same way, never thought I was doing a good job, criticizing myself if I didn't know how do something on a new job right away etc etc. If only we could see ourselves as others obviously do.
Reading your post made me so happy to know that you got that positive feedback and realized what a good job you were doing. Congrats on getting that job back as a permanent job.

cos123

[little scientist]

I still need telling about doing a good job, I think I try to do too much at once which makes me doubt myself constantly. Something to work on with cbt though!

---------- Post added at 22:41 ---------- Previous post was at 22:29 ----------

And well done on your return to work too Cos, I was signed off for just over a week due to my anxiety while I adjusted to being back on my citalopram/grounded myself a bit. The return to work was hard but I did it then a few days later I started back in my "new" job which I think was part of the source of my anxiety. The first day back in this job as difficult mentally, and throu the first week I did struggle a bit and began to feel down by about Thursday, but my boss was understanding and just told me to take it easy and ease myself back into the job. Not to mention that everything I touched in the lab at work failed/broke/got destroyed lol! Just one of those weeks!

This week is a new week, and today was a lot easier than last Monday here's hoping it stays this way this week!