So after a 3 week period of serious anxiety, and following a brief and tumultuous "relationship" of sorts with a girl, I've dipped into worsening depression and just want to know if other people have had this as a result of anxiety.
Basically, here's my story:
I was at work about 2 months ago (I hate my job by the way, it's in retail which I find highly unstimulating) when I had a severe panic attack out of the blue. I continued to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks for several weeks afterward almost daily. Then one day I met this girl and we hit it off. So we hung out a bit and everything was going fine, then we had sex and unfortunately due to my anxiety it didn't, well, work :S I had severe erectile problems and just couldn't do it. I don't normally have sex with people that readily since it's kinda against my moral code and I was ill already. She seemed OK with it but I kinda overcompensated and talked with her about it and said basically I need more time before we have sex. She then said she could tell I wanted a relationship and she didn't so she wanted to stop seeing each other. Fair enough, but then she called me a few days later and said she missed me, so I told her I was happy to give things another try if she was, then she went silent for a few days. I was becoming increasingly ill by this point and had started having bouts of depression on top of the anxiety. She came back after a few days and said she really wanted a relationship with me but she "just couldn't right now" and went silent for good after that. After that I swung very badly into depression and have been so ever since.
I got prescribed Citalopram (20mg) which has seemingly made me worse overall but I'm told this will improve in a few weeks. I also use Diazepam (2mg) sparingly when things get out of hand.
The problem is I'm also a heavy drinker (borderline alcoholic) and I don't think that sits well with the medication (I drink over a bottle of wine a night which started as a self medication from a previous bout of depression and became a habit).
So here are my most prevalent symptoms:
Constant nausea
No appetite
No energy
Wanting to sleep all the time
Dry heaving
Bouts of uncontrollable crying
Severely low mood
Feeling hopeless/worthless
Constant anxiety
Occasional vomiting randomly
Sweats (especially palms and forehead)
Shakes
Loss of interest in nearly everything
Constant worrying
Feelings of guilt and general misery
Feeling alone
Feeling like it won't ever end
I haven't had any suicidal thoughts or ideas about hurting myself, but I'm finding it nearly impossible to eat, I sometimes feel hungry but always feel too sick too eat anything and have no appetite (except when I drink) so I've lost a ton of weight and I was skinny already.
I have restrained myself from drinking more than I already do but I definitely feel a desire to. I suppose it's because I know it'll only make things worse if I drink more.
Can anyone offer any advice, I guess I just want to talk to somebody, anybody about this so I don't feel so alone. Is anyone else having a similar experience?
---------- Post added at 00:39 ---------- Previous post was at 00:37 ----------
To clarify: When I said "I don't have sex with people that readily as it's against my moral code", I don't mean I have a problem with sex, what I mean is I don't normally do it that soon after meeting someone as I consider it a very personal thing and I like to have been dating a while before we have sex. On this occasion it was the 2nd date, WAY sooner than I'd normally do it.
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