No one to talk to..

[blue_bird]

Hi everyone,

I am back again as I feel I need to 'talk' to someone about my increased anxiety. My previous attack was 3 weeks ago and I was doing well until the weekend when another argument between in my neighbour and husband started me off again. My neighbours are noisy at the weekend and my husband constantly complains about them. I have asked him not stop but he thinks it's letting them away with it.

This triggers extreme anxiety for me, I am totally fearful of what might happen and I can't sleep and I worry about what they might do. I admit my reaction is exaggerated and I imagine the worst possible outcome because that's what I do. I have had these fearful feelings all my life and most them of them are unfounded. But when my fear and anxiety take over I can't seem to reason with myself.

I have tried explaining to my husband but he thinks I let everyone walk over me for a quiet life and I should stand up for myself instead of hiding away in fear. I have tried talking to friends but no one understands because my fears aren't rational.

I have been to the doctor and had CBT it helped a bit but when something triggers me off it takes a long time to regain calm.

[Clarinha]

Hello Blue Bird,

You're not alone in feeling that anxiety can take over your life and that you are unable to calm yourself down even though you feel your fears are out of proportions, that pretty much sums up anxiety!
Are you on any medication at the moment? I know medication isn't the answer to everything and for a long time I refused to take any medication myself but after experiencing very difficult times recently, I have decided to give myself a break by combining medication and therapy (haven't started the sessions yet but have started the ball rolling). Some medication can help especially if you find that your anxiety is affecting your sleep as you are suggesting, I myself can't imagine functioning if I wasn't able to sleep, thankfully (and it's a miracle!), regardless of how high my anxiety is, I'm always able to sleep, touch wood.
Also, it might be that actually something needs to be done about your neighbours? If they are being noisy and it's bothering you then it might be worth calling the police or the council about it if the issues can't be resolved calmly by chatting with them? I can imagine these issues would be stressful and you might find it helpful to talk these things over with your GP or a therapist? It might be that you have a deep seated fear of confrontation which triggers your anxiety?
These are only suggestions and I hope you feel much better soon and are able to get some sleep,

All the best

[dabrucru]

hi i m in the same situation with neighbours, noisy people, but i try to ignore them, and i noticed that when i ignore them its like i get used to them, than when i m a bit anxious, i either go for a walk with my dog, or i listen for some good music, or if i want to sleep i use these sleeping foam things you put in your ear...i think its acceptance? i just feel good after they stop doing noise...

[blue_bird]

Hello Blue Bird,

You're not alone in feeling that anxiety can take over your life and that you are unable to calm yourself down even though you feel your fears are out of proportions, that pretty much sums up anxiety!
Are you on any medication at the moment? I know medication isn't the answer to everything and for a long time I refused to take any medication myself but after experiencing very difficult times recently, I have decided to give myself a break by combining medication and therapy (haven't started the sessions yet but have started the ball rolling). Some medication can help especially if you find that your anxiety is affecting your sleep as you are suggesting, I myself can't imagine functioning if I wasn't able to sleep, thankfully (and it's a miracle!), regardless of how high my anxiety is, I'm always able to sleep, touch wood.
Also, it might be that actually something needs to be done about your neighbours? If they are being noisy and it's bothering you then it might be worth calling the police or the council about it if the issues can't be resolved calmly by chatting with them? I can imagine these issues would be stressful and you might find it helpful to talk these things over with your GP or a therapist? It might be that you have a deep seated fear of confrontation which triggers your anxiety?
These are only suggestions and I hope you feel much better soon and are able to get some sleep,

All the best

Thanks Clarinha,

Thankfully sleep isn't a problem for me when I am stressed or anxious I seem to shut down and want to do nothing but sleep. I was on medication a few years back but couldn't function, I have a lot of family commitments and work so I need a clear head.

You are right about fear of confrontation it's what really makes me anxious. I can ignore the neighbours but it's my husband who gets annoyed and then I panic incase he does something stupid. I have explained it to him but he still thinks it's the neighbours fault. Phoning the police or council wouldn't help because they don't really take it seriously and with a previous neighbour it actually made things worse.

Last time I went to my GP he recommended a CBT course which I did and it helped. I know what triggers me and I know it will pass, it's just the panic inbetween that I can't deal with. I am blaming my husband because I feel he doesn't listen and makes things worse, when I try to explain he thinks I am being unreasonable. Maybe I am because I know things in the past that sent me into a terrible state of anxiety before weren't as bad as a I thought they would be. Mostly my fears are totally irrationable.

thank you for replying

---------- Post added at 13:24 ---------- Previous post was at 13:22 ----------

hi i m in the same situation with neighbours, noisy people, but i try to ignore them, and i noticed that when i ignore them its like i get used to them, than when i m a bit anxious, i either go for a walk with my dog, or i listen for some good music, or if i want to sleep i use these sleeping foam things you put in your ear...i think its acceptance? i just feel good after they stop doing noise...

Thanks Dabrucru, I can deal with the noise but when my husband gets involved it makes it 10 times worse. I suppose he is also a problem but i can't make him understand, he thinks I am a nervous wreck.