19 year old no hope for future.

[ahhhh]

I don't know if this is OCD!Im afraid of losing control and having illusion.im always wondering what if I loose control and hurt someone and the thought scared me to pee..
And I'm always thinking is my feeling normal?will I become insane?and even now I still have a looooot of problems I'm thinking what if I conquered this time but got in trouble in the future again.what if I'll live my life forever like this? and when I try to have positive thoughts all this thinkings come in and make me feel crazy.what can I do!!im afraid I'll spend my life in hospital!! I postpond my college for a year because of this.i really wanna go to college!!anybody can help me TAT.

[skylace22]

Hi there,
I had what I *think* was OCD years ago when (dont laugh) I watched the first Scream film - I started getting thoughts like "I could just go downstairs and murder my family" and I would literally sit in my bedroom battling these thoughts and thinking "wtf?" I am thankful that they didn't last long - I think I came to realise that they were just "thoughts" and there is a huge difference between a thought and an ACTION. I am no expert on OCD so I am sure that others here will be of more help but I just wanted to type back to share my experience with feeling like I was going insane/not being normal.

My advice to you would be to see your GP and hopefully get some access to therapy because what you are experiencing is having an impact on your life - you have postponed college because of what is happening and you are so young - you DO have hope for the future! It is great that you have come on here and posted your message but please try to speak to someone - even if it isn't OCD it is definitely anxiety and if it isn't dealt with it can sometimes get worse.

Sky

[fozzy is crying]

[Stormsky]

If you we're the type to harm someone, the thoughts wouldn't scare you, you'd enjoy them.
Intrusive thoughts are common with Anx and OCD,..
The thoughts scare you which tell you they are not who you are... The more they frighten you, the more you get them... Just see them as false thoughts and ignore them..

[ahhhh]

thanks a lot!!Now I'm not afraid that I might hurt someone cos i know a lot of people have the same thoughts and they never hurt anyone but I'm afraid that I will get bipolar disorder..im afraid I'll have illusion and auditory hallucination..I know that too much scare and inner conflict can cause that.now I'm scared all day,scared of become those crazy people who do not hurt someone...and I know too much scare can push me into that,I get
more nervous...it sounds stupid right..and I keep picturing what if I become one of those people in hospital.... Guess no one has the same idea like me?


I really envy you guys > <.im from a developing country and mental illness is not well accepted here.i have seen doctors but I don't trust them.they ask you three questions:are you happy?do you feel hopeless?do you feel nervous?and give you medicine..there's no help group no support really..and I feel guilty coz I'm the only kid in the family and I've been doing great for the last 18 years.now that I've been accepted by a great college but I couldnt go..I've seen many people with bipolar disorder screwed their whole life..it is said it cannot be cured entirely right..im afraid that I might loose the ability to live


Well..its great to have a place to say all these..
Thanks again for help =)

[blingkasa]

Excellent what Stormsky wrote. They are just obssesive thoughts. This is a great place for you to share your worries. Everyone is the same and they are always keen to help and they give good advice.