Hi to you all. I hope that you will bare with me and read my tale.
Last year (September 2005) my mother died and I took it really badly. I took nearly 6 months off work. My doctor diganosed me with 'Low mood due to recent bereavement' and put me on Citalopram.
The counsellor that my company sent me to (paid for only 6 sessions!) said that I was suffering from 'depression due to work related stress, brought about by recent bereavement'. She belived that I had been suffering this for around 3 or 4 years.
I can't remember much of what I did during September through to December, (besides a lot of crying and sitting around doing nothing, and suffering an anxiety attack in the middle of a super market). I was due to return to work on the 3rd of January. On New Years Eve I had another attack when I realised I would never be able to wish my mother a happy new year.
In the middle of January, my eldest daughter (13 at the time) tried to take an overdose. The causes she gave were her grandmothers death, pressures at school and worrying about me being off work.
I finally managed to return to work at the end of February.
In the middle of March, I discovered that my wife (of 17 years) was starting an affair with a work mate. In the middle of May it came to a head. She left our family home on a Friday afternoon to spend the weekend with him. This was devastating to myself and our three children. We didn't know what to do with ourselves. The previous week,due to the stress of knowing that she wanted another man, and not knowing what to do about it, had caused me to return to our doctor. She put me on Lofepramine and referred me to the local community psychiatric team nurse. My wife returned on the Sunday and we tried to talk things through. That was until she discovered that I had changed the locks to the house (on the advice of well meaning friends). After drinking a half bottle of spirits, (neat!), she fell asleep. The following night she collapsed. The paramedics were called and stated that they could not find anything physical wrong with her, but suspected that her mind had just shut down. She went to our doctor, who also referred local community psychiatric team (same team, different nurse). She was diagnosed as suffering from depression, brought about my mothers death (who she was very close to), our daughters attempted suicide and my depression. She has spent the last two months off work herself.
Last week she returned to work and this Saturday I discovered that she secretly met her lover again.
On top of it all, three weeks ago, my company made me see the company doctor. The report that she submitted suggested that I was not likley to return to work until the winter. The following week I was asked to attend a meeting with my manager and the HR manager. It was suggested to me that should consider a career change and that I would be going on to half pay (more stress).
Thank you for reading this far. If you have any advice for me, it will be gratefully recieved. This morning I woke wishing that I was dead and thinking about suicide, but tonight I now know that there are people out there that can help me and there are others that have been through a lot worst.
:( [8)] :( [8)] :( [8)] :( [8)] :(
Reply With Quote
