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Thread: Breaking through

  1. #1

    Breaking through

    Hi, I have been a member for a while but don't usually speak because I don't have anything important to say, until now.Let me explain a little about myself. I am a true headbanger from when headbanging was born. I have also been in numerous semi successful bands and have been playing guitar for at least 30 years now. in 2005 I was in a band that was taking off rather quickly and never had bad reviews ever "Excarnation". We were beginning to support some pretty important bands like 3 inches of blood and D.O.A. still at this point we didn't have an album yet. I remember in Toronto laying down tracks for the album in a massive snow storm, we were finally getting to it! Well, not long after that just as quick as it came it left! Still to this day I don't understand what happened for us to fall apart like that. Now this is where my suffering comes in. I went into a serious depression over this. at one point a couple of years ago I was going agoraphobic but managed to nip that in the butt before getting out of control with that. Never the less I have been having panic attacks since I was 14 or 15, somewhere around there. Well now here's the thing, In the last5 months I have been playing again with the drummer from my old band and some old friends that have been playing around for a long time. We are old pro's, We weren't in any multi million dollar highly successful bands or anything but we have all been through the ropes enough. so we got together and learned a bunch of cover tunes just to get a feel for each other and how we were going to go with it, and eventually we had enough to do a small set at a show as a starter. So we ended up getting on a show opening for a new but upcoming signed band CAULDRON. We practiced our asses off for this show and the last practice we sounded like we have been playing this stuff for the last 10 years! So there should be no problem to get up and tear some @#$#@ and take no names lol right?

    Wow did I ever have the worst panic for 2 days before the show! Would not let go of me! It kept coming in waves constantly for the whole time! Finally it was Friday the day of the show and my stomach was hurting so bad from being clenched tightly for long periods of time. I was experiencing really nasty diarrhea at the venue. Thats it! my shit has gone down the tubes and I'm never going to be able to play guitar properly as I couldn't even see right (usually happens for me with panic attacks). Well, we were first up and had our gear all set up and was time to do sound check. We all made our little noises and said funny things on the mics to get the main levels ...well.......level. Now we had to do a tune so we did creeping death by Metallica. I could do everything but the leads as I never learned it. just going off the top of my head and sounded great! After that was done I was really worried and started to go off the deep end. 10 minutes before show time and I'm hardly standing! I know I can Kick ass but I was still freaking out! Now the time comes and I take my place "left stage" lol and put the old girl over my shoulder thinking to my self how much this is going to suck when I cant play with this panic going on. We were doing all covers so we started with Rapid fire a Judas Priest tune and as I started to play everything just went away COMPLETELY! The show went without a hitch and we gained so many great reviews! I'm so glad I stuck it out. I knew it was the thing to do and now that I got over the beginning hump I can play in front of 10.000 people now lol. Anyways, My fingers are complaining now especially when its 2:36 in the morn. Just thought Id share my little success. Take care peoples and lots of love.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    941

    Re: Breaking through

    What a brilliant story! So are you free from anxiety and panic completely now? X
    __________________
    Whatever doesn't kill you, will make you stronger

  3. #3

    Re: Breaking through

    As of this moment I am without panic lol. How long that will last I do not know,

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