Feeling Guilty

[Duck]

My famliy does not know that I visit this forum. As far as they're all concerned, everything is a-ok with me. Oh, my wife chides me occasionally about my thinking I have one ailment or another, but she has no idea how much health anxiety consumes my thoughts, no one does for that matter. That's why I call myself "Duck". When you look at a duck on the water, he's calm and graceful, without a care in the world, but if you saw him from below, you would realize his little legs are going like crazy. Well, that's me. To everyone who knows me, I'm all together, wise, calm and no worries; but just under the surface, I'm going like mad. I guess I just don't want to worry anyone close to me.

Does anyone else have this little secret? Maybe my actions are innapropriate, but it really helps to unload on people who understand but still keep a distance.

Tom-The Duck

He who conquers himself has won a greater victory than he who conquers a city.
- Proverbs

[manmoor]

Hi Tom,

I wont call you duck lol. The advice I would give to you is to come clean espically with your wife. Let her read some of the posts on the forum and I bet she will be very surprised at the amount of people are the same as you. The first time my husband read a few posts he was speechless and I wont repeat the words he used lol. Please try this and dont bottle it all up we are all here for you.


Take Care

Mandy

xx

[twiglet]

Hi ya, tom
yeah, i know what you mean. there's not a lot of people im my life that know what im going through. my husband does and i do find it so helpful that he knows about it. cause i dont think sometimes that i could cope without him. but at the same time i think im such a burden on him and he can do alot better than me. but love is a funny thing, i've had this for 6.5 years and to my suprise he is still here. if someone truly loves you i guess they do anything for you. perhaps you can open up to your wife and explain how you're feeling. im sure she'd be there for you and just maybe understand you a bit better. at the end of the day, you got to do what you feel comfortable with. you're not alone in this.
take care
love,
twiglet xx

[hunny]

Hi Tom

There are a lot of people who would be surprised that i suffer from anxiety too

I have learned to keep it well hidden

However,it may be better to talk to those close to you about whats really going on,you may then feel like a weights been taken from you

If not then,yes,i totally agree with you thats its amazing to be able to talk here to people that understand

Best wishes to you
Hunny x

[lass]

I keep my anxieties hidden from all but the closest people to me (my mum, dad, sister, husband and closest friends). I do find it helps having some people I can talk to, but it also helps me sometimes when I have to make an effort to get on with it with people who don't know how I'm feeling.

When I first started going on this website it caused a bit of a problem between me and my hubby. I think he thought I was shutting him out, and maybe he thinks I was chatting up guys too (as if!). So I showed him what I was doing and explained to him how much it helped to talk to people who really can understand how I feel, and it's all okay now.

[Mystie]

You reminded me of that old quote...
“Always behave like a duck - keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath”

[Humly]

I am just like you. People think that I am quite laid back and calm but inside I am often consumed with worry. My husband knows that I worry and is very understanding but I think he gets a bit fed up with me (although he never says so) and I don't like to burden him with my silly thoughts. I have got a friend to talk to who is a bit like me and it does help but mostly I just keep things to myself. Just take comfort in the fact that there are thousands of people like you and you have nothing to feel guilty about. I always feel better coming on here knowing that I am not alone.

[jackie]

well people sort of know but not really . my hubby doesbut to everyone else i am this easy going mum of 5 that can handle anything. i too am all consumed by this and think your analagy of the duck is perfect. how long have you been like this

jackie

[Duck]

I've been this way as long as I can remember. I believe I can attribute to at least one specific event that took place during my childhood. I actually started to write my whole story to post here, but I'm now on page four so it's becoming very long. I'm finding it to be quite therepudic however, writing it all out. I'll post it when I'm done if anyone's interested, but I'm hesitant. Like I said, it's quite long.

Regards,

Tom

He who conquers himself has won a greater victory than he who conquers a city.
- Proverbs

[seraone]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">My famliy does not know that I visit this forum. As far as they're all concerned, everything is a-ok with me. Oh, my wife chides me occasionally about my thinking I have one ailment or another, but she has no idea how much health anxiety consumes my thoughts, no one does for that matter. That's why I call myself "Duck". When you look at a duck on the water, he's calm and graceful, without a care in the world, but if you saw him from below, you would realize his little legs are going like crazy. Well, that's me. To everyone who knows me, I'm all together, wise, calm and no worries; but just under the surface, I'm going like mad. I guess I just don't want to worry anyone close to me.

Does anyone else have this little secret? Maybe my actions are innapropriate, but it really helps to unload on people who understand but still keep a distance.
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Hi Tom,

Sometimes I feel the same exact way you described. Although, my husband and parents know the anxiety/panic I'm sorting through right now, it seems like they'd be better off not knowing. My husband says he understands, but when it comes down to it and we have an argument, I'll try to downplay it so my anxiety doesn't set in, then he just thinks I'm using it as an excuse, for whatever reason, maybe he thinks I want his sympathy? I've been spending a lot of time on these sort of forums lately, because it seems like the only place I can find the proper support and understanding. It seems that they never really know how much we suffer inside. That being said, I really do believe it would be worth talking to your family about. No matter the reaction, it will give you tremendous relief to not carry the burdon alone. Even though I don't get the type of support I desire at times, I'm beginning to have more good days than bad. It is a tremendous weight off of my shoulders. I'm also finding that it is an adjustment for my husband to deal with as well. Maybe find a good book or article that you could use as a tool in helping your wife better understand this. Good luck!