First, let me go all the way back to when I was in elementary school. I started hating peanut butter and school meat(which led to eventually avoiding meat entirely for a while). I was told I was a picky either. It didn't bother me. I absolutely detested the stuff. It made me feel nauseous and some of it made my tongue feel funny. I avoided it and didn't think about it.
Then, let's move on to middle school. I felt awful. I was nauseous after eating every day, felt tired, and got headaches. It was so awful that I lost interest in school(which I love) and didn't feel up to conversation with other people(socializing carries its own problems for me but that's another story). I wanted to be in bed all the time and most definitely didn't want to put anything in my body(I did, I realized not eating would hurt me).
Fast forward to my Senior year of High School. Everything is a blur. Although I try to enjoy the relationships I've built and the activities I love(after being told I had depression in Sophomore or Junior Year), I still don't feel well. In September, I am admitted to the hospital because of sever abdominal pain(once it's clear it isn't appendicitis and not going to kill me, I tell them I feel better just to get out because that food makes me feel awful and I seriously hate being stuck in bed). December of that year I am admitted to a different hospital for severe asthma. In the hospital, I have an anaphylactic reaction to a something in a chicken salad and am transferred to the ICU. While in the ICU I present a high fever and am unable to keep anything down. My lactic acid is elevated and I am treated with antibiotics. I am released from the hospital and have a handful more anaphylactic reactions before I see an allergist. The allergy tests confirm I am severely allergic soybeans, peanuts, and shrimp. They also have a whole bunch of environmentals I am severely allergic to but the only one I worry about is dust and dust mites(my room is climate controlled and I have not had my asthma or allergies act up in there since.) So, I have very real, very dangerous allergies that went undiagnosed for a decade.
Now, early this year the abdominal pain comes back. I am admitted to the ER where once again they think I have appendicitis(which I don't... again), and at the end of it they suggest I'd probably consumed something I'm allergic to. It does happen, albeit rarely. I find that the abdominal pain generally does correlate with certain foods prone to cross-contamination.
Here's where it all starts to get odd. I start to inexplicably feel dizzy. ALL the time. I've already withdrawn for the semester so I'm not stressed about school. I was going to take the CLEP exams to get some credit while I was out but I decided this after the dizzyness abated some. My doctor finds that my blood pressure drops a lot when I stand up. I'm passing out a lot. My symptoms get progressively worse until I have some sort of pseudo seizure last week(which I can't remember) and I end up in the Hospital again(which I also can't remember) where I have more pseudo seizures(which again, I can't remember) and where they do a lumbar puncture(which I can't remember either) before I have more pseudo seizures(that I can't remember). I do remember the part where out of the blue they tell me I'm going to psych. Now remember that I had previously been told my real allergies were depression(this was by the same health system, they also at some point thought I was making them up) so I didn't exactly take it well(As far as I knew, it was all happening again). So I insist they discharge me even though I thought I was not fine.
So, here I am a week later after seeing a cardiologist(while they were looking for stuff causing my fainting they actually did manage to find something minor that does not normally require treatment) who finally told me that I was tormenting myself and that I was absolutely fine. Apparently, I do appear to produce too much adrenaline which you can imagine contributed to my belief that something was very wrong with me. He proved it by making me walk faster than I felt comfortable. When I didn't pass out as I expected he explained to me what was going on. Though he isn't a mental health professional and can't actually diagnose me(he thought I had "some variation of Munchausen syndrome. I don't think I do since I wasn't actually aware it wasn't real and from what I understand, people with that condition do).
The only thing I can think of that would cause me to actually believe I was that sick is health anxiety(or that my ptsd from my real health scare was not actually as resolved as I thought). So, I'm going to see my therapist and make an appointment with a psychiatrist(as much as I never want to see one in my life again.) to sort out what's going on inside my mind. Just sort of had to get all of that out and I'm too out of sorts right now to figure out what I did with my therapist's phone number(totally going in my phone now).
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