Worried that I may have brain damage and that it might have made me a monster

[worriedcrazy]

For the past couple of months I have managed to convince myself that I have brain damage. I worried this damage was caused by things like heat stroke, water poisoning, lead poisoning, hypocapnia - generally things that most people don't think about. Recently I have been worried that because of the brain damage I believe I have, I have become a pedophile (I heard that reduced white matter in the brain is a trend in pedophiles). The thought that I may be one makes me feel sick. I have been worrying that I may be one because I noticed things about my 8 year old brother (that I haven't had the opportunity to spend much time with until recently) that make me think I am; I did a double take when i saw him wearing a tank top (but i didn't have sexual urges, I just thought he looked skinny and delicate) and thought that he's quite a good looking boy (well better looking than I was at that age anyway). I have never had any sexual thoughts relating to kids and have been in relationships with girls my age or older since I was 17. I need to know if brain damage that i may have acquired in the past few months has made me a creep. The other things worth noting are that recently I have been asked to tutor kids at a school (which i am no longer going to do because the thought of going to a school now makes me sick) and therefore have been thinking about getting a certificate stating that I have no history of sexual violence towards kids and that in my country a celebrity has just been exposed as a pedophile.

Also I read on this website a couple of weeks ago that someone was worried about being a pedophile which i thought was crazy at the time (I am not sure if this is part of the reason I am worrying about this )

[Nikkii28]

Hey
Im not an expert on brains and how they work but i believe the saying is 'If you think your going crazy' then clearly your not going crazy.

I think the same logic applies here perhaps. If you were having inappropriate thoughts and not thinkng it was wrong then you would be a pedo, but in that case you wouoldn't care.
Much the same as people who are textbook 'crazy' do not have a clue they have lost it, they are content in their own madness.

Thinking about doing/being something in this case does not in fact make you that something. It means you are overthinking as we ALL do with HA and OCD.

Please stop worrying

and yes i bet the website has contributed to your train of thought

[flutterbuy]

i thinkyour sufferin from somthin called ocd it can cause intrusive thoughts and feelins youmay be a peado and because you know its wrong and are here typin about it im sure to say your not one but you need mayb cbt to help with these thoughts xx