Be your own friend :D

[smit]

Hey guys

This is something I only just realised can be so important. I went to a managing stress course the other day and the lecturer pointed something that seems pretty helpfull to me.
He said you have to talk to yourself like you are talking to your friend.
For example I often think to myself "you idiot you're going to freak again arent you?"

Which I would obviously never say to any mate of mine. Its surprising how mean I can be to myself sometimes !
Dont know about you guys, but this is just a eye opener for certain thought patterns, and something to keep in mind

[Annie0904]

My husband always tells me I can give good advise to others but never to myself

[Tufty]

Good advice Smit and something I think alot of people with anxiety do - we are hard on ourselves and have this constant tirade of negative self talk.
I'm going to try to remember that advice

[paranoidtree]

that's a really good idea, i'm much better with giving advice and comforting others but not very good at doing it to myself!

[gonzo1958]

Hi talking to yourself is fine and really good as long as you don,t lose in the arguments lol
D.

[little scientist]

that's a really good idea, i'm much better with giving advice and comforting others but not very good at doing it to myself!

Same paranoid tree!

[BobbyDog]

This is a great idea, I am not very good at saying kind words to myself either. The next time I have the negative self criticism going on, I will imagine I am comforting a friend who is in the same situation as myself.

[Louise_B85]

Hi I can really relate to this. I give excellent advice to my friends who are going through difficult times yet I cant listen to the same advice, when it is me who is struggling! I can be so harsh and negative to myself yet would never treat another person as bad as I treat myself. Hopefully know that I have realised this I can start to make some progress and learn to love myself...........fingers crossed!

[annette1]

This is a very important but extremely hard lesson to learn.

When I frst started working with my psychologist she would pass me a compliment eg you look nice
today, I like your shoes, you've got great skin. At the time I wondered what she was up to, it seemed inappropriate, then she explained. She eas trying to work out if my problems were due to being shy or my self esteem was so low I never accepted or paid myself a compliment & you've guessed it, low self esteem! I had always felt embarrased if someone paid me a compliment & would cringe not
understanding why they said it. She also diagnosed me with Attachment disorder.

Gradually she encouraged me to be kind to myself, to celebrate my acheivements however small. It has opened up a whole new world for me. It took time, she encouraged me to a, write down every negative thought about myselg & to turn each one around & adk myself how true it really was,

but now I have the confidence in myself to say 'weldone' or 'why dont you try this' rather than only having negative thoughts about myself.

Life is so much nicer now!

[Annip]

I love collecting the inspirational quotes that are often on facebook. My daughter in law started a big notebook for me to add to when I see ones I like.