Talking Changes

[paranoidtree]

Hi Annie, i agree that if you are not in the right place (physically, emotionally or mentally) then there is no point forcing yourself back to work as it will only serve to make you feel worse. You need to feel strong enough to do this and i'm sure your employer will understand and support you in this.

With regards to the counselling, i don't know if you have had much counselling before but it is quite normal at the beginning of working with someone to in some ways feel worse as you are talking out stuff that you may never have done before. the type of counselling you are describing is very typical of 'person-centered' counselling which is talking therapy rather than CBT which is more action based - it may be you need a mixture of both. and you may have some sessions where you feel you have just talked and not moved on but the very fact you are talking is healthy. i feel like this after my sessions but then realise i have understood my issues a little better.

I hope you feel better soon, especially your poor foot!

[Annie0904]

Hi Annie, i agree that if you are not in the right place (physically, emotionally or mentally) then there is no point forcing yourself back to work as it will only serve to make you feel worse. You need to feel strong enough to do this and i'm sure your employer will understand and support you in this.

With regards to the counselling, i don't know if you have had much counselling before but it is quite normal at the beginning of working with someone to in some ways feel worse as you are talking out stuff that you may never have done before. the type of counselling you are describing is very typical of 'person-centered' counselling which is talking therapy rather than CBT which is more action based - it may be you need a mixture of both. and you may have some sessions where you feel you have just talked and not moved on but the very fact you are talking is healthy. i feel like this after my sessions but then realise i have understood my issues a little better.

I hope you feel better soon, especially your poor foot!

Thank you for your reply. I am going to try to see my doctor today. What concerns me with the therapy is that I only have 1 session left and don't think 6 sessions have been enough.

[paranoidtree]

i agree, 6 sessions of CBT which is very focused can sometimes be enough but 6 sessions of 'talking therapy' isn't very much at all. hopefully this can be extended for you.

[Annie0904]

It is a private counselor and she said I need 12 sessions but my work will only pay for 6. She said that she has never had anyone who has had so much traumatic events before and thinks I may have PTSD. I can't afford to pay for more sessions though because I am having to pay for private physio and my pay will go down to half pay in a few weeks. (The NHS physio was a waste of time).

[paranoidtree]

In my own experience NHS normally is. Is there anyway your employer will extend what they pay for? Or could they pay for it and you pay them back over time? Like a loan of sorts? i had an employer do this for a training course i wanted to attend before.

[Annie0904]

I saw the NHS physio the day after I had my cast removed, bearing in mind my foot hadn't touched the ground in 3 months and my leg muscles were wasted. He took one of my crutches of me and told me to walk. I was in so much pain and couldn't do it. I cried and said I was really anxious. He then said that he wasn't a counselor and if I wasn't going to walk I was wasting his time!! My private physio has been fantastic and really patient and understanding.

[paranoidtree]

does not surprise me at all! i think they are time poor but that's no excuse for poor bed side manners. it was the same after my appendix op last year. they before the op bit was ok, had the op 11pm, then the next morning when the consultant came round to check on me (this was about 9am) he poked me, didn't say anything to me and was about to walk off when i asked if it was appendicitis or not (as when i went for the op they still weren't 100%) and he looked at me like i was an idiot and said of course it was and walked off! Next thing i know it's 10am and i'm being told i'm being discharged! Barely given any information on what to do next, had to get the doctor out on the monday to tell me what to do next. Grr.

sorry for rant! I'm glad your physio now is nice though, makes all the difference.

[Annie0904]

They first removed my cast after 4 weeks and it hadn't started to heal so I had another on for 2 weeks and when they removed that I was in agony. The doctor told me to stand up and again I cried and said I wanted an xray first so he said "oh just take her for an xray!!" When the xray came back my fracture had not even started to heal so he said get another cast on and come back in 4 weeks!

[paranoidtree]

and they wonder why we get upset!

[blueangel]

Hi Annie

Sorry to hear you are having such a bad time at the moment. A couple of things that might be helpful:

* from my own experience, I found CBT much, much better than talk therapy - in fact, I found talk therapy really frustrating as it didn't giev me any solutions and just kept raking over things

* for the work issues, are you in a trade union? If you are, they cen help in supporting you back to work. I have been a senior trade union official for 14 years and one of the things I have noticed again and again, is that the longer you are off work, whether it's with a physical or a mental problem, then the harder it is to get back to work. What your employer should be doing is keeping in touch with you and trying to suggest ways to help ease you back into the workplace. Certainly where I work (in the NHS) they would be finding you alternative work that you could do whilst your leg is in plaster. I know this might sound a bit harsh to some people, but it does help as you feel as though you're doing something useful and you feel less "abandoned" which is what can happen to a lot of people

* if you're unhappy with your treatment at the fracture clinic, the hospital will have a complaints policy. The only way that things will get better is if people do raise stuff like this

* it is hard to learn to walk again after a fracture - I had to do it years ago after a severe road accident. I remember it taking me a long time to have confidence to stand on the broken bones again - but obviuosly they need to be knitted properly first! When the x-rays show that there is a decent callous on the bone, it is safe to walk on, but it will feel very odd and painful for a while