Day 4, Im just gonna start a diary

[silent bob]

Day 6: Hey guys i halved my dosage back to 25mg Topamax and 10mg Escitalopram, and im actually feeling alright today i feel fairly awake for a change.. just had the Escitalopram so i'll see how that goes during the day i have a 3 day weekend so hopefully i can recharge a bit and feel semi-normal again

[silent bob]

Day 7: so day 6 overall wasnt too bad went swimming at a few beaches most of the day, jumped off of a really high rock totally out of my comfort zone and that sent me into a massive spacey feeling, but i spose if i want to get better i have to push my boundaries! but yeh so half the dosage im usually on and im feelin quite alot better already, i think i was just on too high a dosage to start off with... nice cruisy lazy day today so hopefuly itll be chill... sending hugs and good wishes to everyone this morning

[Tunnel]

Great news Bob! 10 mg might be all you need. Hope this continues.

[silent bob]

yeah me too Tunnel, still gettin the side effects but nowhere near as harsh as they were before

[Tufty]

"Swimming off a few beaches" - now Bob, here in the UK it is cold, wet and grey and our summer was cold, wet and a paler grey I'm really pleased you are feeling slightly better but please share that fine weather and send some of that sunshine and warmth over here, I'm sure Australia has had our share of it this year
Hope you continue to improve and don't get too tanned on those gorgeous beaches over there x
Sam

[silent bob]

Sam: heh the beaches here are beautiful, of course smart me got mega sun burnt and payin the price (lyin in bed on my stomach tryin to type this) but if i could send over the sunshine i would

Anywho Day 8: just woken up and havnt had the Ecsitalopram yet, although im finding over the past few days im getting much better sleep... possibly because im sleeping in till 10:30am lol, ive noticed my mood is lifting slightly and im not quite as bummed out all the time, i still get the derealization space cadet times but theyre not a constant anymore im getting short bursts of reprieve of normality in there even if its only for a few minutes... and just in general my outlook on life is slowly turning around a little... just a little but its giving me hope

[silent bob]

Day 9: back at work today after my 3 day weekend... not feeling too bad tired as shit still and still getting random moments of OMG WTF WHERE AM I being outside the house but i spose thats just changing up the environment a bit.. i can feel that im slowly gettin better i didnt have to have the TV running last night to fall asleep, usually im too afraid to be left in the quiet with my thoughts to sleep but last night wasnt too bad i was able to deal with it... and my partner is helping me keep a positive attitude.. he says that meds are only half the battle and the other half is all my mentality and how much i actually want to be happy

[silent bob]

Day 10: I think the side effects have worn off mostly, now im feeling relatively the same as i did before i was on the meds but a little bit more on the positive side and feel like im now equipped and ready to sort out and deal with myself in order to get better... on a side note F*** today, people shit me.

[silent bob]

Day 12: Missed out on posting yesterday, my mood has been so all over the place im feeling shit about things i never usually feel... regular situations are making me so angry and spiteful and jealous and i just want to go nuts and break something... sleep is getting worse im sleeping less and less each night... fighting with my partner alot isnt helping coz im getting jealous and angry and insecure and paranoid where i never have before..

[Tufty]

Thinking of you Bob, do you think you can ride these side effects out? Hope you have a better day today
Love Sam