wow I made the Leeds meet!

[oh no_1]

Hi
Wow.......
Although I only just walked through the door.... (thanks Antonia and Speckles for coming to one bus stop then the other and then the train station and then back to the bus stop!!!!!) Yeh anyway despite getting off the extra long bus once I got on second bus and got home in the end.

even though kept telling myself i was going i didnt think i would actually get further than the buses if anything.
panicked to hell about meeting at the train stagtion (thanks laura for coming up to me) or i would have probably have stood there forever.

managed to sit outside pub (apologies everyone for been mute)...... then we moved inside the pub, to me it was busy (sorry for been a mess..... the whole panic attack in the toilet, got bit too much with how busy it was) and then just for some reason was trying to plan ahead and think about getting home and then just got too much and i just broke down in tears whilst trying not to and trying to just to carry on. (thanks for helping me to pull together serenitie)
maybe i shouldn't have had any alcohol on all the tablets i am but oh well.
(thanks bobbydog for coming to bar with me)...even that was a task in itself.....

..... im totally exhausted now.......
i do hope to come again and will try harder next time i promise.... i am a bit angry at myself for not keeping myself together.... i never cry in front of people, dont know what came over me.
i am glad i met you guys, gosh it so strange but in a good way... thanks for everything.... :0 really mean it.

also thanks to others i have been chatting to, and odd number i got to text for helping me to eventually get there. gosh been out of house since 11am and just got back in now and it after 10pm!!!!!

[Elle-Kay]

Well done, I think you did great

[oh no_1]

um thanks but i didnt, getting off bus several times, panic attacks, crying. :(

[Elle-Kay]

But you went! And you stayed and met new people! That's more than I could have done

[oh no_1]

it was so so so hard to get there!!!! and then was so so so hard to leave as knew the thought of all that travelling back, so kind of didnt want to leave

[Laura1989]

you did AMAZING ohno, and i know the other guys will agree with me. it doesnt matter one single iota about all the other stuff, the main thing is that you were there hun! So WELL DONE!!!! :-)
was great to finally meet you, looking forward to the next one already!

[oh no_1]

awww u r too kind laura.... im sure all of u were much better on your first meet.

[BobbyDog]

Well done oh no,
Just because it wasn't obvious to you, doesn't mean that we weren't anxious too, I have spent many years trying to hide me feelings of anxiety.
You did so so well and will find it much easier next time, you know the venue, how to get there and can keep in contact with us on your journey there and back.
It is important that you have a life outside of your day to day routine, you are young and need friends.
We all need friends, this life is not a dress rehearsal.

[oh no_1]

wow thats good way to put it
yeh i guess it just hit me how special u guys were /are to me... that i went out and you were all still talking to me after i cried or went to toilets for ages till attack went away.

as in the past many a many a times... well :( :( it hasnt gone like that, ppl left me, ppl didnt want to talk, nasty comments. i thank you all for that.

[speckles69uk]

Hey Jemma,

You're very welcome. We all just wanted to make sure you got home ok. You should be so proud of yourself, you did an amazing job yesterday and made some huge important steps. There's no need to apologise at all, we all understand what it's like and we'd never judge you or make nasty comments, so there's no need to worry, you're amongst friends. The next meet will be so much easier for you.

Take care and well done. :-)

Rebecca

Xxx