Anx rearing its ugly head

[rb1978]

Does anyone else think they're doing alright only for anxiety/depression to come back big style out of the blue? I'm supposed to be going away for a few days starting tomorrow (nowhere exotic, I'm going down to london for a short break) and right now I would give my right arm not to have to go. I've spent the weekend basically curled up on the sofa, dreading having to go away. If I don't go I'll no doubt feel a failure though.

I think the problem is that I've had niggling health problems for a few weeks. I've had an infection in one of my nails which a "normal" person would probably regard as nothing but to me it's all-consuming. It's made some of the skin green so I've been panicking out of my mind back and forth to doctors. I've seen about 7 people over the last few weeks and have convinced myself it must be cancer because it's not clearing up quickly. Despite the doctor saying there was nothing to suggest it was anything nasty, I just don't believe him.

Been on antibiotics for a couple of weeks and now my tongue's gone brown. Even though I "know" it'll be the anti-biotics, the voice is there saying its cancer. Hell, I can't even find anything bad on google about this symptom but still the little voice is there.

It just amazes me how I think I'm doing ok then something however small will start the anxiety and depression up again and before I know it I'm weeping and just wanting to spend my days curled up in bed, hiding. :(

[Frankie123]

This is exactly what happens to me. When I have no minor symptoms I am fine and then something happens and I put the worse possible outcome on it. For instance, I currently have a urine infection for which I am taking antibiotics but I have convinced myself I have kidney or bladder cancer. I know it is illogical but my mind just overrides everything. Because of this my life is miserable and I enjoy nothing. Although of course I don't want to die because I have a fear of dying I don't really want to be in this place.

[Iced_diamond]

Hi there, I'm really sorry to hear that you're (both) feeling this way. As a fellow Health Anxiety sufferer, I do understand how feel. I may be fine for weeks on end and then I will start obsessing about something regarding my health-and this is often if I have something planned and am going away. I think that just because it's me ( and of course all bad things only happen to me) something will go wrong to ruin my holiday/plans. Unfortunately this is the way we are programmed to think, but it really needn't and shouldn't be this way. This sounds very cliche, but really: Life is too short to worry about things that really don't matter and we should enjoy the special moments in our lives.
The issue you mention with your nail-though I agree it doesn't sound too pleasant, but at the same time I'm sure it's nothing to be alarmed about. It s probably just a minor infection. Do you have false nails done or have you used nail varnish or nail polish? If so, it could possibly be to do with this. If not, then maybe it's something that you came into contact with, like a cleaning product which didn't agree with you. If 7 doctors have told you not to worry about it, then I think you can be confident that it's nothing serious. The fact that you have experienced some discolouring of your tongue, is also in all likelihood nothing serious. If you are taking antibiotics, this may very well be the reason and you will notice this vanish after you finish your course-please check with your gp if you are worried, but I'm sure this is a very normal reaction to antibiotics. I think that also you shouldn't try to "find things" to get obsessive about. I used to do this. I would check myself and find a small dot, a small rash, my mouth might look a bit red, I might notice a bit of dry skin somewhere etc etc...but if you just live your life, relax and enjoy yourself, chances are you will be totally unaware of these unimportant things. If something is truly bothering you, you will notice and take appropriate action. I get the feeling that you believe you shouldn't have a good time and you shouldn't enjoy yourself. Is this right? But, why shouldn't you? You have just as much right as anybody else. So, my advice would be: relax and try to focus on the good things. How about having a think about all the fun things you could do and see in London? I hope you are looking forward to your break a little more now and I'm sure you will have a great time. Take it easy.