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Thread: My name is Mike, this is my experience.

  1. #121
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    1,338

    Re: My name is Mike, this is my experience.

    I now don't think my new anxiety is down to wd from Zop at all as I stopped it a week ago and it should be out of my system now and am on antihistamines that I have swapped to before and had no probs,I think it is the mini pill I have been prescribed, just found some articles about how it can cause even panic....having being a Mum I know the signs of how I felt with real pregnancy hormones so am coming off it now and will have it just cross my legs forever now, lol!

  2. #122
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    577

    Re: My name is Mike, this is my experience.

    Poor soul. I read aboit your restless legs on other post - ive got that quite a lot these days. You have a lot of meds in the mix at tge mo and I know thay exhausting search for the right information thay we can believe in to fix it. The only thing I can think of is; if you have a zopiclone tonight and your symptoms improve it'll give an indication if the zop is an issue.
    Many hugs,
    Paul xx

  3. #123
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    137

    Re: My name is Mike, this is my experience.

    Hi everyone. Just thought i'd write and bring you up to date a little bit. I was fortunate to have a week off work last week, i had some holiday time remaining and i needed to use it before the new year, so i thought last week would be a nice week to take off. The week started out pretty good. My mother who i mentioned before had been battling some health issues. It started when they found a spot on one of her lungs and she was having problems breathing, we were really worried it could have been some form of cancer. The doctors thought it could be pulmonary fibrosis. I had a hard time believing it could be fibrosis. My mother never smoked and never worked anywhere where she would have inhaled anything that would do damage to her lungs. She was a home maker and a secretary her whole life. The second issue was she was diagnosed with being in the early stages of rheumatoid arthritis. She was having real issues with her hands swelling up and and her knees really hurting. It was really painful and it really scared her. She could hardly hold a phone or a tooth brush. I spent a great deal of my summer worrying about her. We live 300 km's apart, so it isn't easy to help her out that distance apart when you work full time. We have a decent medical system in this country and lots is covered under it but one of the drawbacks is appointments with specialists take forever to get. She had to wait 2 months in pain for her appointment date.

    So the September appointments came along and after a myriad of tests and scans they do not think the spot on her lung is anything serious. They think it could be scarring from pneumonia she had last spring. They put her on antibiotics and her breathing is finally a lot better. The arthritis is also being treated with a drug and while its not 100% better, it seems to be improving. She only has a bit of discomfort in the mornings now. My mother and I are very close. I saw her for the first time in a few months last week and without being mean, she looked tired. She also looked to be about 10 lbs thinner then normal. I know she was scared, but would never admit it until after the results started coming in. I know my mother suffers from anxiety, but would never take anything for it. She is the first person to tell me to go on a med or see a social worker for my anxiety, but would never follow her own advice. I love her, but in that regard she is a wee bit of a hypocrite! She is in her early 70's now, so the stubbornness is there too.

    So to say the least i was relieved that it wasn't anything more serious. I feel we dodged a bullet. The cipralex did not stop me from worrying about my mother. But it did stop the cycling that often accompanies my worrying. I've been watching two friends in their 40's struggling due to cancer treatment and its not fun at all to watch. I hope I'm wrong, but i have a real bad feeling about one of them living another 5 years. I hate to say it, but part of me also wants to be honest with myself. Its a grave situation, i feel horrible for her. Her health was one of my main triggers before i went on cipralex, cancer sucks... Its not easy when someone calls you up crying because they are so scared, what do you say? It always took a real toll on me mentally. She phoned me recently with more bad news, her cancer is so rare and they found its spread. They found more tumors and if that's not enough to deal with she now has a blocked carotid artery which puts her at huge risk for a stroke. The woman is only 40. Its so sad and hard for me to watch. My other friend was diagnosed with stage 4 Hodgkins Lymphoma last March. He has been enduring strong chemo treatments which haven't been an easy road. I know its the chemo, but he looks terrible. He has 2 left i believe and after that i think its over for awhile. I feel bad for him, he is a good guy and is only 41. The point of this is sometimes its hard to rationalize your mortality when you see people you care about battling for their lives. The cipralex has helped me deal with this in my head. Before i would be thinking about it non stop, cycling and cycling. I wasnt trying too, but i also couldn't stop. Now that i am on cipralex i have stopped the cycling. I do think about them, but it doesnt consume me anymore. I have a family of my own to worry about which brings me back to my mother. I was worried i would have had to watch her go through similar chemo/radiation treatments that my two friends were having. Its awful and i am sure some who read this can relate. Its not easy to watch a loved one suffer.

    On a lighter note... My youngest son who is Mr. Popularity at his school was invited to 3 birthday parties all on the same weekend. Two on Saturday, and one yesterday. Yesterdays, birthday party was an ice skating party. My wife refused to go on the ice with him, so i had to do it. I had no issues with this, i have skated my entire life so i was happy to do it. It had been some time though since i went ice skating. I roller blade quite often, so i thought i was in good shape to ice skate again. So i get on the ice and it took about 10 minutes to get used to it again and warm up. My oldest son was allowed to come on the ice also. My oldest (9) is on ice skates once a week, so he is pretty comfortable on the ice. So i am skating on the ice and everything was going great. I started chasing my oldest around the rink which was fun.. So i am going full throttle after him when he decides to jump off the ice onto the bench, i saw this and went to stop. My left skate blade caught a rut in the ice and sent me flying into the boards. I am a shade under 200 lbs so it made a really loud BOOOOOM! I wasn't wearing any equipment or a helmet or anything so i think my wife thought i was dead, it scared the crap out of her... and to be honest it scared me a little too. I seriously can't remember the last time i wiped out that hard on any type of skates. Last thing i wanted was having to spend Christmas on crutches or worse. I slammed my left ass cheek into the ice and my right knee into the boards. My knee is okay today. On my left butt cheek there is a big purple bruise which is kind of uncomfortable to walk around and/or sit on. Thinking about it now, i really do feel lucky i didn't injure myself badly, because i was flying on the ice when i crashed.. I am not 20 anymore, and i don't heal as quick! I can't lie though, i'd go ice skating again tomorrow if offered. Its fun! I'd just be a little more careful.

    Somebody upstairs was watching over me. I did go to church yesterday morning, maybe that helped!?!? Who knows...

    Take Care,

    Mike

    P.S. - My bum hurts!
    Last edited by Tunnel; 03-12-13 at 01:55.

  4. #124

    Re: My name is Mike, this is my experience.

    Mike good to hear from you. Thank you for your support whilst I got used to Cipralex. I have just started 10mg today on the advice of my counsellor who wanted me to go to minimum dose. I will see how the side effects go!! x

  5. #125
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    137

    Re: My name is Mike, this is my experience.

    Month 16:

    Hi all. Been having a little blip as of late. Really had a great Christmas and New Years. On New Years day my wife came after me full force wanting to try for a third child. My oldest is 10 and my youngest is currently 7 and my wife is 39 almost 40 and she wants one last kick at trying for another kid. Her window is definitely closing and i think she is sad about that. This subject has always given me stress and anxiety. I am 41 now and will be 42 in June. Don't get me wrong, i love children. My kids are totally my world, but having a third has always panicked me. So after fights, tears and the fear my wife would always hate me for robbing her the opportunity to try for a third i relented early last month and we have been trying. I wouldn't say we have been trying every night, but definitely been having more sex then usual. Only now unprotected. So while i have enjoyed the "trying" it scares me to death for whatever reason that it could actually happen. So January comes and goes. Before her period last month i felt very anxious for a few days until she got it. Now i am waiting for her period for this month and its a day late and im panicking a little. I am not sleeping well.

    In some ways i dont understand this. We are doing fine financially, we are both in pretty good health and we have more then enough room in our house. I have two boys, and apart of me would love a daughter if it happened. I am just scared of going through the whole process again. From the time with my wife in the hospital, to the infant stage to everything. It scares me and my wife knows it. I am definitely doing this more for her then me but i love her and want her happy. If it happened i would love a third every bit as much as the first 2.

    Its so hard. Big change is hard for me. I think from stressing so much on Wednesday for the first time since taking cipralex i forgot to take my pill in the morning. I didnt realize it until Thursday morning when Wednesdays pill was still there. I didn't have a great night on Wednesday. I just felt muted. My mother phoned me and she noticed it straight away, at this point in time i had no idea i missed my pill.. I just felt down. I didn't realize 5 mg of cipralex affected me so much because its a miniscule dosage. So now, my wife is a day late with her period and i am freaking out a bit. I am at work as i type this and i am just praying for this shift to end so i can be at home. My chest is tight, i feel a bit nauseated and very tired from lack of sleep. Thank God its Friday.

    This whole thing is so stupid i know as i am a grown man, but i cant help it. I should be happy she could be pregnant, but the fear undermines it unfortunately. I just want to be happy again.

    Could use some encouragement right now.

    Mike
    Last edited by Tunnel; 28-02-14 at 13:54.

  6. #126

    Re: My name is Mike, this is my experience.

    Hi Mike. I have been following your posts... I also started cipralex nearly two months ago. It has been really hard at the beginning but I start feeling better. I am so proud of the progress you have made and what you are feeling at the minute is perfectly normal. When we suffer from anxiety we do not like changes but it doesn't mean that there are bad for us. I do understand when you say that now that you finally feel yourself again, you would like to make the most of it. I am sure everything will be fine and this time you are much stronger than when your boys were born... Thinking of you and good luck!

  7. #127
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    79

    Re: My name is Mike, this is my experience.

    Hi Mike,

    Hope you are well.

    Cheers

  8. #128
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    3,301

    Re: My name is Mike, this is my experience.

    I've been engrossed in this thread for the last 20 minutes. Hope all is well in your world Mike...look forward to hearing more

    ISB x

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