My name is Mike, this is my experience.

[Tunnel]

Day 46: Slept in this morning until 9 am. For someone who is used to getting up for work everyday at 5:15 am, sleeping in until 9 is huge on a weekend. Got up, ate a bowl of cereal and took my 5 mg of Cipralex. I looked out the window and it was snowing lightly outside. Spent the early part of my morning cleaning up the house. Then at noon my wife and i took both kids to their skating lessons. When we got home my wife dumped the kids and i off and went shopping. We starting decorating our house for Christmas last week but didn't finish it all, so i decided to continue it today. The tree was half done, so i finished it. I had the Christmas music on, and i slowly took my time finishing the decorating around the house. The house looks great now and i enjoyed every minute of doing it. Had this been last year, i would have rushed through it just to get it over with, or not participated in decorating at all. I am a homebody, i love being home and i am always working on some type of project to improve my house. I felt no anxiety at all today, nothing. I am sitting in my bed typing this about to turn off the light for the night. I feel my eyes getting heavy... but what a great day i had today. To all those people struggling i pray things get better for you. Hang in there.

Take care and good night.

Mike

[karenp]

That's really wonderful Mike. I might do our decs today after goign to our local town's light switchign on yesterday and all the carols being sung and played by the local radio station. It actually felt quite Christmasy, then my Auntie came last night to visit with her friend who is also going through a bitter divorce like me so I had a relaly good day all in all too, I juat had a bit of anxiety for about an hour when I first hit the big crowds in town but pushed it to the back of my mind and was fine. I even managed to sleep until 4am this morning but feel incredibly low, is this normal at this point Mike? I've been taking 5mg's of Cipralex for 16 days now but my mood seems to be getting lower even though it does pick up quite early on in the eday thankfuy but I hate feeling like this right now as I didn't have depression until starting the pills, just terrible anxiety. I know you said the first 20 days or so were the roughest for you with lots of up's and downs. So glad you seem to be well and trully on the mend though now

[Tunnel]

Karenp: The fact you are going out in public to a Christmas event is huge in my opinion. I think being with people you care about going through a similar marital situation is also helpful. Remember, i am not going through anything as traumatic as that either. When I am triggered i don't want to do anything or see anyone other then my immediate family and even then i have a low tolerance so getting yourself out and about socializing is good. The mornings were the worst for me, especially Mondays the beginning of my work week. It went away though, I feel fine in the mornings now. I wouldn't say I felt incredibly low, just down and anxious. My evenings have been great since the first week. As you know I am taking the med in the morning, so by the evening a full 12 to 14 hours has elapsed.

My sleeping seems to be also returning to normal and my dreams must be also. Little Mike is waking up an hour before i am now?!? The hooter dreams might be returning, the only thing is i don't remember them.

Mike

[karenp]

I'm sure you will soon remember them, ha ha ha ha! So glad to hear you are only on week 6 and feeling so good, this is only the start of my third week and the first one I was only on half a tablet, chicken that I am, ha ha. I keep reminding myself it's such early days and things can only get better from now on as before I went on Cipralex some of my evenings where so bad I'd still be shaking at 9pm at night and normally now, I am 100% fine by 3pm and not so bad even during the day, just niggles of feeling low and sometimes some anxiety. Mike you have been a blessing how you have encouraged me and Mrs G, thank you so much xxx

[Tunnel]

Day 47:

Yesterday, I decided to take my son to a movie for some quality time together. The movie outing went great and my son enjoyed it quite a bit. I thought the actual movie was "okay" and nothing i need to ever see again. He liked it, which is all that matters. It was nice to spend an afternoon 1 on 1 with one of my boys. Before we left his 6 year old little brother had a little bit of a temper tantrum because he wasnt going. But don't worry, little brother will be accompanying my wife to the Justin Bieber concert next week. At roughly 10 times the price of the movie, so life is not so tragic for him.

I didn't have a single blip of anxiety while we were at the movies, the last time i went and saw a movie with my kids was just after Christmas last year and i spent the entire outing full out triggered with anxiety thinking i was suffering from some kind of muscular disease. I obviously did not enjoy it at all! So, i was very happy to be able to have a good time worry free. The two of us shared a large popcorn and drink. We went to a few stores afterwards, the stores are packed with people Christmas shopping. I hate shopping at the best of times, so when everything is packed i get frustrated and want to leave. It didn't take me long to abandon my idea of shopping. I'll take the online route where i can Christmas shop in my underwear lying in bed. Thats more my style!

Last night i stayed up and watched the Grey Cup game, which for anyone unfamiliar is the CFL championship football (not soccer) game in Canada. They didn't kick it off until around 6:40 PM, so by the time it was all over it was 10:30 PM. I normally have to wake up at 5:15 AM so i was tired this morning, and found it really tough to wake up. The one side effect i still feel on Cipralex is i seem to start to get really drowsy and tired around 8 PM at night... I am usually asleep on the couch by about 9 PM. Last night i forced myself to stay up because i wanted to see the final outcome of the game. Once i went to bed, I was out cold before my head hit the pillow last night.

So all in all, i had a great weekend with zero anxiety which is so nice. Got some errands done and the house decorated for Christmas on Saturday, and had a nice outing with my boy on Sunday. I didn't do much productive on Sunday. I like to have one day a week where i do absolutely nothing!

Take Care,

Mike

P.S. - karenp i am glad i can help! Posting on this forum is helping me also!

[Tunnel]

Day 48:

Yesterday was the first blip i've had in awhile, not sure why but it was tougher. It might be because it was Monday morning and the beginning of another work week. As Christmas approaches my weeks are going to get busier and busier at work and at home. I went home for lunch and had a bit of an anxiety attack, it wasn't major by any stretch of the imagination but i felt anxious for about 30 minutes or so. I have health anxiety, so something must of happened to my body to cause it, the weird thing is i cannot pin point what that something was? I did not get a hot flush or anything like that. Just felt a spike in my anxiety level for the first time in awhile. Fortunately, i work close enough to my house that i can go home for lunch. So if and when i've had a anxious morning at work i could always go home at lunch and catch my breath a little before the second half of my day. My home is my comfort zone. Once i was back to work i felt okay. The cipralex kept the anxiety under control which is very good! I was able to continue my day as normal, whereas in the past i would have struggled the rest of my work day. I really think one of the reasons is because i did not get a good night sleep the night before. I stayed up too late watching football and kind of broke my sleeping schedule. I was dead tired last night, but went to bed at 10 PM anyway. I had a minor headache when i went to bed, i didnt take anything for it thinking it was just a lack of sleep. I woke up at 1:30 AM with now a pounding headache. I got up, went pee and took some Advil (ibuprofen) It took about 40 minutes or so before the pounding of my head started to calm down enough where i could get back to sleep.

My alarm went off at 5:15 AM and i had a tough time waking myself up this morning. My wife told me i was snoring like crazy last night. I ate a bowl of cereal and took my 5 mg of Cipralex right on schedule. I showered which i must do in the mornings to help wake up.

Sleeping for me has a direct correlation with my anxiety issues. The lousier sleep i get at night, the better the odds of me having a more anxious day the next day. So i understand people like karenp struggling a little during the day because their sleep patterns are screwed up. My issue seems to be that i need about 7 hours of sleep at night to keep most of my anxiety in check. The reality is last night i could have probably gone to bed at 7:30 and slept fine. I would have woke up 2 or 3 times during the night to look at the clock, but probably would have been able to sleep the night plus the extra time. One of the benefits of having a physical job is it tires me out!

Hope everyone is doing well.

Take Care,

Mike

[silent bob]

knowing exactly what you mean. Sleep is one of the biggest contributing factors to anxiety levels, ive noticed talking to people if they get a good sleep the night before they are alright the day afterwards but if they have a not so good sleep then te next day is usually a bit sucky. Loved reading this you are making amazing progress and it is enlightening to see that you are enjoying going out and spending time with your family

[karenp]

Oh sorry to hear you had a it of a blip Mike. Hopefully that's all it was
I'm sure once my sleep pattern gets a bit more normal I will be well on the road to recovery but it's the final thing that always comes right for me. My Gp put me back on Zopiclone last ight and though I did sleep better I feel more anxious today as I don't think it's as strong as Lorazepam/ativan. Still I am miles better han I was before starting Cipralex, not one panic attack since getting the bad heads too Mike, I have no side effects, maybe a bit of tiredness but then I'm on the sedatives too but sedatives rarely sedate me too much, I swear I need elephant strength ones for that.
Any how hope there's no more 30 minutes of anxiety blips from now on Mike as you are doing incredilby well and such an inspiration for those of us just starting out on our Cipralex journey. Christmas is such a stressful time too, I love it but I'm so umprepared this year and haven't even started shopping really yet and I a normally super organised with everything bought and wrapped up but this years not been a very normal year ):

[Tunnel]

Day 49:

Yesterday i had a good day overall. I kept to my normal working day schedule and everything seems to be looking up. Still finding it really hard to wake up in the mornings. On Monday morning i actually dozed off for a few minutes in the shower standing up. That's kind of dangerous! LOL. Today, i hit snooze on the alarm twice before hauling my tired ass out of my warm bed. Little Mike was staring at me again when i woke up, i have no idea why! Wife is never interested on work mornings anyway! We've been together for almost 20 years, little Mike should know this by now!

Last night I went to bed at 10, so i got about 7 hours but its still hard to wake up. I think the fact the daylight hours is shorter now makes it even harder. I drive to work in the dark and i come home and the sun is setting for the day. I find myself yawning a lot at work right now. I think thats due to the time of year as opposed to the amount of sleep i am getting or the cipralex. This is the beginning of the winter season over here, so some days we are 10 C, then other days its -3 or -4 C. The temperature fluctuations and rapid changes screw with your health a little bit, everyone i know around here seems to be battling some sort of cold or flu bug. Other then the yawning i feel pretty good. Everyone is yawning.

After i got up and got ready for work, i went down the stairs and saw my wife's bra hanging over the railing of the stairs. She did some laundry last night and i guess that was her choice of upper under garment to wear to work today. The Christmas tree is decorated on our main floor to the right of the stairs. So, i thought it would be funny to take my wife's clean bra and hang it on the Christmas tree as a sexy decoration. So that's what i did. Then I plugged it in and left it. My 8 year old thought it was pretty funny. My wife actually walked past it twice not noticing it before my son told her it was there. There is a lot of white in our Christmas tree, so it blended right in. It actually didn't look half bad! I'll probably come home from work tonight and a pair of my hole infested boxers will be hanging off the tree. No, that wouldn't look good! Although Christmas is a very Holy time of year!

I appreciate all the encouragement everyone is giving everybody. Other then Monday, i continue to feel pretty darn good overall. Christmas is coming and i am getting excited. I booked 2 weeks off of work this year for Christmas, so i am hoping to get some good family time in plus relax a little bit. Like you Karenp, i am miles ahead of where i was 49 days ago, its a whole new world and i don't want it to stop!

Take care everyone,

Mike

[ewood79]

Have enjoyed reading this.... If anyone is on Facebook there is a really good private group on there called anxiety support group private chat etc..... It's a closed group so no one else on your Facebook friends lost can see or read ur posts unless they are on the group too. Load of people from around the world.... Including other Canadians!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/125460040875562/

Cheers

Jarrod