My Escitalopram diary

[Tunnel]

I work with a woman going through a similar situation with her husband. She is currently packing her stuff up to move to a new place with 2 young children at the end of the month. Her husband is being as difficult as one could possibly be. Its not an easy situation. Hopefully the worst of your divorce is now behind you. Just keep doing what you are doing with the cipralex, things are looking up!

Good Luck.

Mike

[karenp]

It's bloomin hard starting from scratch but I have such a great family and now only live minutes away from my Sister. All I can tell your friend is you do manage and you do cope!!! I'd def walk away again.. I'm just mad at myself that I let my Husband make me so ill but my life is really taking shape now and hopefully the Escitalopram is really going to help me though I'm feeling a bit rough today. My increase seems to be giving me really bad heads, I had bad heads when I first started my meds and it passed after a day or 2. I'm also feeling a little flat, especially when I wake up, I feel pretty terrible in fact when I first wake up but just tell myself it will pass and once I am up and about getting my little boy ready for school start to feel a bit better and right now I'm ok all in all. I was a bit scatty this morning and left William's pack lunch inthe fridge but luckily spotted it and took it down to my sisters house who is a dinner lady to give him, poor kid, I won't do that again in a hurry! ha ha. I'm looking forward to geting beyond these initial first few weeks.

[karenp]

Well last night I was falling asleep whilst early evening tv was on so was wide awake again by half past 12 and didn't really sleep again, I had those horrible hot flushes and just felt really agitated so took a couple of Lorazepam but they didn't really help much or possibly stopped me from having a panic attack. The best of it is I've felt like a zombie all morning (I did remember to give my little boy his lunch today though, ha ha ha!)I'm ok now but this second week as been a lot harder as I had loads of energy last week, where as this week life feels a bit like a struggle, I've done my usual domesticated jobs though, got Wills off to school, even dyed my hair so I'm determined to to just lay here all day giving in to feeling so unmotivated...right now mood pretty good but during the night nope ): Still this is all still miles better than whenever I started normal Citalopram and always remember picking up a bit once a fortnight or so had gone by but always needed about 4 or 5 months to be totally perfect again.

[karenp]

DAY 13 at 5mgs

Didn't sleep very well again last night but a bit better than the previous night. I was wide awake at 3-30am feeling flat and aggitated but didnt have the horrible hot flushes ): I took a couple of Lorazepam pills but don't think I ever back to sleep and couldn't wait to get up and just get moving about The time leading up to getting William to school was a struggle because I feel a bit shakey, slightly anxious, have the most rotten heachache but most of all feel so low and I wasn't depressed until I started the pills but figure it's just the upset of whatever is going on in my brain right now and things will even out again as I settle. My mood soon lifts nayhow once I get on with my day and the feelings I felt earlier are all just a bad memory now but wish they would start subsiding a little as I really do dread waking up at the mo.
Any way I've managed to get on with my normal every day jobs and bobs and may go into town with my Sister after school tonight as I think the more normal life I try to lead the quicker I will get better and after 7 month sof failed medications, I am certain Escitalopram is the one that is going to work because of the positives I have already felt despite the bad nights and rocky mornings. But my anxiety is so so muc better all ready, not that I'd want to take Lorazepam out of the equation just yet but hopefully I can soon. Those of you who have taken old Cit and the newer version is there any time difference in how long the meds take to kick in or is it just the same and down to each individual???

[Tunnel]

karenp:

Have you looked into the vitamin Melatonin? It could help you with your sleeping issues. Its non addictive and i know has really helped some people trying to get on Cipralex get a better nights rest. You can buy it at any drug store. My wife takes one occasionally and then she sleeps like a log. My wife says it guarantees her a minimum of 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Mike

[karenp]

Thanks Mike, I'll check that out as was wide awake at 2.30am again but not feeling flat anymore, just very aggitated which I hope goes away soon but my mood is defo much much better and I'm no longer getting the headaches or flushing.
Just done the school run and my little household jobs, then I'm going grocery shopping this afternoon but still feeling quite nervy, hopefully it'll wear off as I dont really want take any extra benzo's. Then tomorrow I'm taking my little boy for the lights switching on in town, Chas Dingle is doing them seen as I live in Emmerdale land ha ha (:

[karenp]

I had a look in the supermarket for the vitamin you mentioned Mike but probs need to go to a proper chemist for it as I couldn't stop it at all ): They just had all the usual ineffective stuff like Nytol and Kalms. But another rubbish nights sleep minus any panic atacks tankfully but I did take Lorazepam to make sure one didn't come on. I just feel sleep deprived really, aggitated still and my mood is very low for a few hours in the morning but then I go totally ok so Cipralex must be doing something hey (:
I'm still planning to go to the Christmas lights switch on tonight and who knows the fresh air might make me sleep better tonight. (or should that be gale force winds and rain they have forecast, arrrgggghhh! lol)
I've been on Cipralex just over 2 weeks now, one at 2-5mg and this week at 5mg's so I'm hoping things sart really turning around next week even though my days are already greatly improved, feel a little flat at times and had a cry last night about what my life was like last year and I've had a failed marriage, lost my lovely home and everything and my Hubby won't even let me have my personal stuff and my solicitor keeps saying she's'gonna get tough with him and then nothing ever happens. He's also had our house taken off all the internet sites like rightmove too so no one will even know its for sale now and we ave alot of equity in but he wants to stay there and not give me a penny, which is what its always been like, he couldn't share, cope with being married and the responsibility of having a wife and child to support which landed me in this anxiety state 4 times over the past ten years and this time I just knew I had to get out. I'd been ok the rest of the day too so I guess I understand about what you mean now Mike the up and down emotions in the first few days of taking cipralex, plus I think it was the prospect of not sleeping again. Seriously thinking of asking to go back on Zopiclone for a couple of weeks till things even out.

---------- Post added at 11:53 ---------- Previous post was at 09:03 ----------

Well apart from feeling really shatered right now my mood is good again and I have no anxiety (phew!!!). I've got my little Nephew staying over for the night with my Mum and my Auntie's just rang to say she's going to visit tonight at 7pm and bring her friend who is also going through a divorce and is on normal Citalopram. I just hope I stay awake, ha ha!!! Seriously, I was a bit like,"Oh no," at first but it'll probs do me a world of good having someone here who understands what both going through a bad divorce is like and who is suffering with depression because of it, even though the last time I saw Karen, she didn't have any anxiety symptoms and I always think the anxiety is worse, not that I like feeling incredibly low the times depression has hit me but panic just terrifies me despite suffering with it on and off for ten years. But the Cipralex is both getting me out to see the Christmas lights in town today and a few weeks ago I would have made an excuse for my Auntie not to come with her friend, where as I am def up for it right now, j ust wish this terrible fatique would go, perhaps when I've had some fresh air hey!!! I've read some pretty bad things about Cipralex on the net but to be fair, I think it's been one of the easiest ad's I've ever taken so far, it;s just the going up to 10mg's bit that worries me in case that is when I feel the worst side effects but other sites I have read state it has few side effects, plus I've done normal Citalopram 3 times so I can do this, ha ha ha!

[Tunnel]

karenp: I am in Canada, so maybe Melatonin is easier to find over here. Its on the shelf here in any drug store, much like vitamin C. It wasn't expensive either. I am sorry to hear about whats going on with the end of your marriage, it must be so tough for you. That would be hard for anyone to get through. Hopefully your divorce doesnt drag on forever, getting closure is important. I really feel bad for you, but the bright side is your child is with you.

The up and down emotions will slow down in a week or so. You will just need to get through it. Not sleeping cant be helping either. I find my anxiety is always worse when i am overtired. Outside of that, it sounds like you are dealing with the side effects rather well.

Take care of yourself.

Mike

[karenp]

It really is night time and early mornings I struggle with as the rest of the day is more or less fine already, I get a bit of anxiety occasionally but nothing to how it was but these low feelings are all new to me and hope they go away really soon. Had a lovley time at the the Christmas lights switch on though even though it rained like mad (typical British weather, ha ha!!!)

---------- Post added at 08:28 ---------- Previous post was at 08:26 ----------

Ps.Did Cipralex make every one else feel really low at first and if so how long did it roughly last ): I know I did experience this on normal Citalopram but you forget once you are well again how long it took for me to start feeling much betterand all in all I think I am doing pretty ok and feel great in the evening.

[karenp]

Today is day 20 I think, I've been on 3mg's of Escitalopram for a week at least now anyhow but my mood has become very flat especially during the night when I cant sleep and can only describe those feelings as horrible but hey, they pass and now it's 10-20am and though my moods not happy, happy, happy like I'd love it to be quite yet I'm over the worst for today and am just going to keep totally occupied. Just been and got myself a nice salad from the shop even thoghmy appetitie is still pretty pathetic, I managed to be bad and open a selection box I'd bought for my nephew yesterday though and scoff lots of chocolate out of that, lol!!! I'll get another one this week and wrap it up this time, ha ha! OOOH and because I'm not eating all that great I def don't need any Bridget Jones knickers this year for Christmas, ha ha.
I NEED to make an appointment with one of my doctors this week so will mention Cipralex seems to be causing me to have depression, which I didn't have before but always remember having it each and every time I took old style Citalopram until things settled down. Maybe the doctor will give me some sleeping pills for a couple of weeks too as I don't know if it's Lorazepam lowering my mood and it doesn't make me sleep like Zopiclone did which I never have any issues just stopping (: The good news is I've not had any panic attacks for 3 weeks, no longer have flushing, really bad headaches, I do get a few little brain zaps when I first wake up and the misery feeling sets in but all in all think I am doing just fine and want to carry on with \cipralex very much at this point.