lost trust in my safe person

[mistymoo]

not sure whats happened to the once strong relationship I had with my other half, weve been together for many years but since my agoraphobia and monophobia it has put a huge amount of pressure on us both. My two safe people are my partner and sister (they both work together) recently they have started not telling me if they are away from thier work place, this is important for me as I feel safe knowing that they are at work as its only 2 minutes from home if I need them. When I find out the truth they say they lied because they didnt want to worry me, this isnt the first time its happened. Just feel very isolated at the moment like Im doing this alone. I dont feel I can trust either any more

[DreamsInSpace2]

Bless you, I know how hard this may be for you. I had a fear of being alone, and agoraphobia for a year or 2, 3 years ago, not sure how long you have been suffering as you have? not sure i'd say monophobia, but i couldnt even have baths alone i was so afraid to be without my partner, it was terrifying. he'd have to sit by the bathroom the door wide opened whilst i bathed. i couldnt leave my house and i couldnt even be left with family, he had to be there. it was distressing for everyone involved and once even begged him not to go to work so he lost his job. so i know how isolating this is but i honestly do believe they are trying not to worry you. i know it must be so hard for you but maybe it is for the best knowing they are away from their work place because eventually you will get used to being alone maybe it must be hard on you all especially you. me and my partner broke up so i had no choice but to be alone, it took a long time but eventually i got there. my mum worked full time, she couldnt stay home from work (and wouldnt) and i had panic attacks so much, but then i had our new puppy, he was a life saver for me, we hugged, chatted, he was with me ALL the time, took photos with him etc. once i got through being alone it took an extra long time to cope being alone at home at night.. my mum started working night shifts and i found it hard but i got there and i am sure you can too. not sure how long its been this way before or of your circumstances so not saying this is how it should be for you too and i understand how you feel, the whole trust thing its so hard when you are afraid but i am sure things can get better for you .. sending your way xxx

[mistymoo]

thankyou for taking the time to reply, all my life Ive been let down by people that were supposed to care about me so It takes a long time for me to trust people, Ive been agoraphobic for four years and monophobic for about three. I have two dogs and a cat and I agree they are a big help, thankyou