Having a bad bad day

[*laurajaney*]

Morning guys,

I am having an awful day

I have been on Citralopram for 3 weeks now - i started on 10mg and now i am on 20mg

Today i have been a total wreck since the minute i opened my eyes

I cant seem to concentrate and every little thing is stressing me out

My director at work asked me a question to which i responded but i have no idea what he asked me or what i said - it just left my memory straight away

I have made mistakes at work this morning which has upset me and even though they can be rectified i feel like its a massive issue and its really getting me down

I just dont know what to do :(

I had a really good day on Sunday but since then its all gone from bad to worse

Is this normal?

[Annie0904]

It is normal to have good days and bad days, really sorry that today is a bad one for you sending you hugs for today and hope tomorrow will be a better one for you

[*laurajaney*]

thanks annie

i really thought things were looking up but today everything has come crashing down around my ears and i feel like giving up

i dont want to be around anyone - i just want to sit in the dark on my own :(

[Annie0904]

I get days like that and when I do I just try to think of it as a little blip. It is hard to be positive when you feel so bad but it will get better. xx

[Jen Sat]

Hello Annie, sorry you are having a bad day. It is distressing when you have a good run and think you have turned a corner then you get hit with a bad run. you will eventually get more good days than bad. Its like when you go to bed feeling positive and then you wake up and the dark cloud is back. You can only do one day at a time and every day is a day closer to you getting better. We are passing through the hurricane and it will pass. Keep your head down at work, do what you have to do and like you said the mistakes are not anything that cannot be corrected, at least you made it to work, right? Keep on keeping on

[Tyke]

Hi Laurajaney

You body is still adjusting to the new medication and it does take time for it to settle down. When that happens it will get easier. I was on Sertraline and didn't really get any benefit until 4-6 weeks in. The side effects actually made me worse initially! Keep going as everyone has said and take it a day at a time.

Would there be any point in mentioning your situation at work if you haven't already done so? Sometimes it is best not to, but if you have more sympathetic management and colleagues it can make them easier on you.

Tyke

[Tessar]

Hi Laurajaney - i'm sorry you've having such a rubbish day. I've experienced just the same things you describe - it's unsettling to have stuff just disappear from your mind so quickly like that. I've had it happen when i'm driving before now. I get so far along my journey & then think that I cant remember how I got to that point (not all the time obviously but I think if I'm stresses or over tired I go into a sort of autopilot daze). I can be like that at work too.
Its really hard to concentrate sometimes when you're stressed out - that happens to me. I was actually sitting there this morning wondering if my memory will ever be what it was. But then I told myself what my doctor had said, i.e. that being stressed & stuff will impact on your memory. It doesnt mean it's broken I suppose, just that it's not working at top level. No different to a battery that needs recharging i suppose, once it's back nearer full charge it works better.
I've been in the same situation at work - having made mistakes. I'm glad you say they can be rectified as that helps but I do understand why it feels like a massive issue. Sounds like you are very conscientious (I think i spelt that right) and thats contributing to it getting you down.
Also after having a good day, I find the bad ones sometimes seem even worse than before, but on reflection i realise it's just the ups & downs of life perhaps. Last thursday I left work after a good day - then I had a mishap on the way home. I just told myself that sometimes things dont go according to plan.... & I just dealt with what went on. I'd rather it didnt happen but sometimes even with the best of intentions, things work against us. I do sometimes think it's just typical & how you can have a couple of good days then one bad. I guess it's about trying to remain positive generally and knowing that sometimes things can take a step backwards.
yesterday at work I had to do something new. when i first started it was really scary (i'd have quite happily run away but that might have seemed rather an odd reaction!!). After about an hour, i understood better what it was all about so i'm very pleased i managed to stick at it. I went from thinking that i'm useless, to staying late to hlep my boss out and then being congratulated to digging them out of a hole. I'm sure that you'll no doubt stick at it -i get the impression you dont like giving up on anything as that's probably the kind of person you are. I feel sure your colleagues will recognise these good qualities in you. It could be that if you're able to talk to a trusted colleague about how you feel, that will help. Its doesnt have to be that you divulge everything, just a few little things you feel comfortable with. I gradually opened up to my colleagues & have found some are more supportive than others. sometimes conversations just happen along & i find it so good to be able to share. in that respect, you'll probably know who is best to talk to or when the time is right.
i'm hoping your day's improved a bit since earlier, bye for now.

[*laurajaney*]

thank you so much for your replies

i feel a lot better today after speaking with my directors at work - they know the situation that i am in at the moment and they are very understanding which is nice

i am trying hard not to blame myself for things that go wrong because sometimes mistakes just happen - its been difficult because i hate failing but i am trying to tell myself that its not failure its just a small blip, get back on your feet!

[Tessar]

thank you so much for your replies

i feel a lot better today after speaking with my directors at work - they know the situation that i am in at the moment and they are very understanding which is nice

i am trying hard not to blame myself for things that go wrong because sometimes mistakes just happen - its been difficult because i hate failing but i am trying to tell myself that its not failure its just a small blip, get back on your feet!

That's really good, I'm so pleased they were undstanding. Must be very reassuring. I think you've done very well. I'd feel just the same as you but you're right about it being a small blip! It's the weekend soon.... yipeeee.