my fear of dentists has ruined my kids teeth

[sassy]

i feel so utterly bad right now that i decided to post. having a phobia is one thing but projecting our phobias onto our children is terrible and right now i feel sick to my stomach with guilt.
i have a 13 yr old, 8 yr old, 5 yr old, and a two year old.
not once has my 13 yr old ever been to the dentist, my 8 yr old has been twice and neither of my younger ones have been. my 13 yr old needs a brace and prob some teeth out but is quite understandably worried sick about going somewhere she doesnt know and my 8 yr old needs lots of work done. my 13 yr old KNOWS that she should have been a million times by now and KNOWS how wrong i am-she must be so embarrassed by me.
i have only told my mother this as im so ashamed. i feel like the worst mother in the world-this is after all a form of child neglect and the fact that i cant turn back time and make all ok is ripping me to shreds.
im calling them tomorrow to get all the kids in and mum kindly said she'd take them as im so scared and feel so guilty. but my kids shouldnt have to suffer like this. i feel that they deserve more, i KNOW that they do.
im not looking for support here-i know how wrong i am and words cant change that, but has anyone else put their fears onto their kids? do you think its too late for me to sort the kids teeth out?
my daughter is never gonna forget this and will look back with such anger when she's older.

[eeyorelover]

Hi Sassy -
I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad about this right now.
I have an aweful fear of the dentist and I too have had the same thoughts because my kids are older than yours and have only been to the dentist once.
It's not too late to get their teeth fixed. I know that I have just recently decided that regardless of how scared I am I have to get them in. Easier said than done - huh???!!!
You're not a bad Mom hun!!! You (like me) just started to pass your fear on to your little ones. But now that we have realized that, we can change that. They don't come with instruction booklets. lol Would be alot easier tho wouldn't it???!!!
We may be Moms but we are still human and we do make mistakes. All we can do is try to learn from them and move on.
xxx
Sandy
PS I have joined a dental phobia site and if you want the link to take a look - here it is (I hope lol)
http://www.dentalfearcentral.org/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl

[sassy]

sandy thanks so much! i honestly thought i was the only mother alive who hadnt taken her kids to the dentist :( in fact its 2am and i cant sleep for worrying. i know the dentist is going to have a go at me (rightly so) and im just a nervous wreck lol
will check that link out.
thanks again.
emma x

[eeyorelover]

Hi Emma -
Nope you are definitely not alone
Well you know - if the dentist starts in on ya just try to envision you being able to have him in that dentist chair for a few minutes drill in hand - lol
That should make the time fly by
xxx
Sandy

[andrea568]

Hi, I'm the same, my son has never been to the dentist and I feel like a bad mother too so you're not alone.
Andrea x

[orangeblossom]

You know, the great thing is that you have acknowledged where you have gone wrong - and most importantly, you are doing something about it now. That is the best thing.

No, of course your children aren't going to hate you - teeth can always be fixed (and your children's teeth will be fixed because you are strong enough to take them to the dentist which is brilliant) - and we all know our parents are human not perfect angels.

Your children sound like perfectly normal, happy and healthy children - you are clearly a very good mother!