Hello to all,
I am going to be full on honest with you all, and try to give you a few words from my heart to all that are suffering anxiety and panic attacks.
It was back in 2010 when it began , and hit me at full strength. Went into a & e several times thinking I was having an allergy attack, asthma attack. It first starting thinking it was actual reactions, and then when I started to make journeys in public places it started to happen. The first issue it started on a lift, the lift at covent gardens.Sometimes i believe its not good to tell other sufferers full details of problems, as they will then think they will pick up on these extra issues also. But I have slowly realised its good in a way, to see what things others find silly that they are afraid of, and what others think 'Oh yes I get that feeling too!'.
So moving back to the lift; it was a nightmare, I would take out my phone and start to pound its buttons to write a 4 pages text message to my mother or boyfriend. I would get I think up to 3 black outs in that short amount of time. Heart pounded, felt like I was floating, and I could barely breath (oh so i thought). Then the second issue was the large escalators in kings cross station !! I actually managed to pass out from the stress , onto the man in front of me. I have a history of having fits, and faints in times where i take an injection.
Then it came to being everything i did, in all my everyday life. From entering a bus, train, walking, going out with friends, and home...I was so sad, i cried everyday, i also joined this website.
So how did i recover? I went to g.p to figure out a few problems, still denying that i had these issues. I had no idea about them to be honest at first. But i got over a few health issues such as chronic sinus which i do have, and mild asthma that i have always had. Once i got a few of these, why i had dizzy symptoms and difficulty breathing? Was it to do with my health? Once i got a few reassurances i thought this would be it, ok it helped the me for a while but the panics started to come, and I could not even do anything. I even failed a term at university. (Iv graduated since though
Seems to hard to overcome then? No, what did i do? My dream is to be a performer, Which i have become since then. With these black outs, i still danced, and went on train everyday. This was a month after crying tons, staying home. I realised i will not get better at home.
My way to recover... I tried to get help, talking with someone, i found this was a waste of time. But you all might find it helpful. But in my recovery, i believe it is NOT helpful.
I will explain why, firstly...you are always going to someone to get help right? So you are constantly reminding your mind, that you have a problem. Why do you have this problem? Stress, worrying, panics, its all in the mind yet gives real symptoms ! So how do you recover? OK first accept yes this is what i have, then what i done;
-got a nintendo Dsi, to play on public transport. (this helps in a panic attack removing some of your attention to the game no matter how strong your symptoms are, just keep attacking a character in a game, or following your passage in the game.
-got a new mobile with games
- changed my journey route to work to the hardest; getting off at kings cross, and taking train (which was my biggest fear at 1st, because its all underground, and you cant 'escape' when you want like a bus).
-i kept performing, putting myself in difficult situations
-made a diary of when i got worse, and what i ate to help me (which guys i no a good deal of good food that will help
I kept doing this all, i had a few things that helped. Its hard to put it all down.
I still feel anxiety, why? Because its a normal symtom of the body, and because yes I am one of those that over think , and have suffered trauma in my life. I had to overcome them.
Since then I danced in front of millions in closing ceremony.. so yes.
I am one of them. I cried, in front of millions, and i confessed on my walk up to the stadium. I nearly got a slight panic before entering, feeling I was about to pass out. Then I gathered all my emotion, 'why am I going to let this get to me now? I am THE best!!!' I said to myself. And off i went. My heart was crying aloud how happy i was, how i was positive, how i had overcome it all. It was OVER. no more.
Since all this, i know when its a symptom of stress/panic, etc. So i dont panic, because its normal, its part of life. You will get over it. If you put yourself in the situations you are most afraid of everyday. Staying home you will not recover.
I never took pills, although they gave them to me. I took only the ones they gave at the time some panics where extremely great, and the hospital gave it to calm me down at the time.
You have ONE life, please try your best for yourself.
Another good one is;
'Don't worry, no matter how afraid you are, if you will pass out, or think you've stopped breathing. You have felt the WORST it can become.. And it will never go worser then that.'
'The mind is very powerful'
I send all my love to you all, to recover and to be strong. Remember one step at a time, once my goal used to be 'walk to the shop and back without panicking'.
xxxxx
The injection now don't even seem bad... compared to all i felt throughout.
Accept what you have, realising it, sharing how you feel.
But sometimes its best to keep others from knowing you have a problem, like your friends, why? Because say your problem is the train? I believe that if they know, they will keep going 'are you ok? are you ok? omg you look white in the face!!' This will charge your panic, make it worse. If you are in control of what you say. 'Oh no, i am just tired...' then you can let the symptoms gradually pass ,and just be strong without others knowing.
In future i will make diary ( I am an artist) for people who suffered the same as me.
Once i have my website up and running, I will share you this book i made. For all that know how it feels. for worser, and lesser symptoms. Its all something we should not have.
I smile when now i worry how my hair might look rather then if i will faint
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by StarryBlueGal
