What could this possibly be?

[Ferry1995]

Just feeling very down at the moment and needing some reassurance and advice.

6 months ago I came on with a severe bout of health anxiety after falling out with some friends and splitting up with my girlfriend, after a month I was put onto 20mg of clomipramine which slightly eliviated the problem, after a few slightly better months I started feeling really really tired and just generally much more anxious ( especially about my heart rate ) the doctor effectively said that the symptoms you describe could either be side effects of the medication or just general anx symptoms, so after coming off them, I had a brilliant first week at college and really started to make friends again, everything was going so well, my parents then went away for a week so I had some friends over and had quite a heavy night of drinking, the next day was okay, but the day afterwards I crashed for no reason whatsoever, I started feeling apsoloutely awful for no reason whatsoever, I had nothing to feel unhappy about, my life was going brilliantly, thinking I couldn't cope I decided to stop at my aunty's for the next week, which I spent in and out of A+E, worrying about my sanity. the world just started to turn into this dark unforgiving place, my memory started to fade and I just felt out of sorts ( over a dozen mental health professionals have confirmed this not to be derealisation, schizophrenia, split personality etc and I don't seem to be displaying any traits of depression, there are no external factors, everything is amazing in life, yet I feel terrible about everything, half the time I'll feel fine, and the other half will just be like a nightmare world, I'll start to feel groggy with blurred vision too, and i'm getting stabbing pains in my head, not headaches, kinda like intermittent stabbing pains, the doctors won't put me back on my meds and the cbt is doing nothing after about 12 weeks now, so I'm really not sure what there is left to do :(

Thanks for listening

[Mark13]

The stabbing pains in your head sound like "brain zaps" (although my weren't painful as such, more like a tiny electric shock in the brain with a momentary dizziness).

It was due in my case to fluvoxamine withdrawal. The brain zaps lasted for months.

So it could be you came off your TCA too fast, there is a withdrawal syndrome associated with that drug.

Mark

[Ferry1995]

I originally thought that but several doctors assured me that the dose was too low for any noticable withdrawal symptoms, if there were any I think they would have cleared after 4 months

[vitabelle]

I to get the head zaps have for a while. Just random pains I have always just put it down to anxiety and worry. They are very uncomfortable but tend to pass x

[Ferry1995]

after an eventful night I found myself in A+E and after a LOT of tests they can find nothing physically wrong with me, I don't appear to have Schizophrenia/bipolar so that's given me some peace of mind, I think i'm going to have to make an emergency appointment at my GP, get me on some stronger meds, can't live like this

[Mark13]

I think you're doing the right thing (seeing your GP) - any medication decision is yours, and I know some people are against it, but I'm of the opinion that you have to do whatever's needed to get yourself better or at least give yourself some equilibrium so you can think more clearly and objectively.

Mark

[Ferry1995]

I was really against it, but after 3 months of hell, i'm honestly willing to try anything, I don't think talking therapies are helping whatsoever...

[Mark13]

I really think a person needs to have some stability in your condition before talking therapies have any benefit, otherwise you just don't take it in and because it's of long term benefit rather than a magic wand it's easy to get discouraged if you're not in a fit state to take it on board.

I had CBT in 2008. It worked OK in that I no longer worry about the future, I just anguish over the past

Mark

[Ferry1995]

I think beforehand I was worrying about the future, now it's just a case of despairing/worrying about the present, I generally look back ( even at bad situations ) thinking, I was happier then, which in reality I was probably just as bad as I am now...

[Mark13]

It's not about happiness for me, it's just I shouldn't have this constant gnawing in my gut and jumping down anyone's throat everytime they say anything may be be construed as critical against me (not on here though as we're all in the same boat so I would make allowances )

Mark