Sleep phobia

[Mark13]

An unusual one maybe, but I've had this phobia on and off since 1978. I know exactly what caused it, but have never been able to get rid of it.

At the age of 12 I had a brain operation (I have hydrocephalus). By the time I got to the hospital (only 2 hospitals in England were capable of doing the surgery at the time) I was blind and paralysed (temporarily, fortunately) due to the build up of fluid on the brain.

I heared the Docs worrying about me, they were really concerned I would not survive, then I went into a coma.

All ended well of course, but since then I've had a sleep phobia on and off. In fact sleep governs my life one way or another. My wife is very understanding, but there are times when it really gets in the way.

My wife is going into hospital for a procedure on Thursday. She has to be there for 8am, and as I normally get up much later I'm worrying about the affect on my sleep pattern as much as her health and that makes me feel so guilty.

The sleep phobia is presumably linked with death phobia in that I went into a coma after expecting to die, but it manifests itself as a sleep phobia mainly when I'm sleep deprived and need sleep. Thats when I have to actually think about it (rather than it happening naturally) and obviously it's added to by the fear of what sleep deprivation may do to me.

Any support / insight / shared experiences would be welcome.

[Dazzlar13]

As mentioned in another thread I have something similar.
Mine is 100% psychological caused by me worrying that i will not wake up/phone/lose friends because I'm so miserable in sick and end up losing my job.
I have a book called " say goodnight to insomnia" It looks good but I have yet to grow the balls to stop my meds and try it

[Mark13]

Thanks for posting in my thread Daz (I know I asked if you would ).

Even though I have the phobia it only surfaces when I'm sleep deprived and have to think about it rather than let it come naturally.

Most of the time I'm just governed my my sleep pattern, scared that it'll affect my life and work.

In fact it does, which is why I'm part time, with a very late daily start.

[Dazzlar13]

No worries fella
like I said I was fine myself off everything but I had one bad night at my then GFs and everything went down hill from there plus I had been fine up until the age of 23
Although I did used to stay up till late when I had college.
I work in IT and have thought about getting 12-8 kind of role. Dunno hough Id have to deal with the general public again... sigh..
Its an odd one and your problem sounds similar to me. Have you ever tried CBT Specifically for this issue. I'm considering it if CBT for anxiety doesn't work out. I know its going to be hell

[Mark13]

The very late daily start I mentioned is 12.45 for me, and I work till about 7 - over 30 hours a week, but still part-time. Fortunately my employers allow me to do these hours because of my GAD.

Off work at the moment, week 6, but new medication starting to make it's presence felt, so back some time in January hopefully

[Dazzlar13]

The very late daily start I mentioned is 12.45 for me, and I work till about 7 - over 30 hours a week, but still part-time. Fortunately my employers allow me to do these hours because of my GAD.

Off work at the moment, week 6, but new medication starting to make it's presence felt, so back some time in January hopefully

thats not bad, Nice hours in fact. Changing jobs for better hours is a possibility if things don't work out. Work may even give me some leeway if I were to tell then.
It however is not something I'm overly keen on as I find it embarrassing to talk about. Beats being unemployed though.

Good luck with the meds change and I hope all works out well for you

[Dazzlar13]

Hi Mark.
Hope you had a nice xmas.
This may be an interesting read for you.
http://sleeplikethedead.com/chronic-...-recovery.html

[Mark13]

Sorry Daz

Just noticed your earlier post, these boards update so fast with so many posts I get lost sometimes.

I'm quite fortunate in that my employer allows "adjustments", but I do have hydrocephalus too, so having a physical brain condition, and a mental one probably helps when persuading my bosses, although I'd be happy to have neither condition (although hydrocephalus is treatable by means of a surgical implant, it's incurable).

Thanks also for your most recent post and link, much obliged, it looks very interesting and I will be studying in depth.

Cheers

Mark

[Dazzlar13]

Hi Mark,
I haven't had many check-ups on my physical side save for your usual thyroid and sugar blood tests.
I have however so far managed to not get to sleep before the small hours of the morning even though I am on Mirtazapine and various other otc sleep aids.
Maybe the Mirtazapine has stopped working?
My mind just started racing at 100 miles an hour :(
I think I am going to go back onto Citalopram.
I'm pretty sure I very rarely didn't sleep well on that and it helped my anxiety whereas Mirtazapine does nothing for it.
Also have an appointment with the local NHS therapists on the 14th of Jan