couldn't discuss sex with my therapist

[missdel]

i told my pysche about sexal paranoia around my dad at 7, my therapist asked me to talk about the erotic transference expeirenced in our fifth session but i couldnt do it and put my hand on my head embarrassed, he said 'how is it embarrasing' and i just felt like an idiot that failed after, he rolled his eyes and ended our session as our time was over

was i being immature? im 21 years old and i feel like everyone else must be comfortable doing that, i just couldnt discuss sexual acts and feelings at him! he's the one im feeling it for after all, i just found it humiliating

would you find this easy to do?

[wazza]

Certainly not with a member of the opposite sex. not even that sure about same sex, unless you the person well.

[happyone]

I have done it......but not easily. However, I found that once I had begun to talk that it became easier. Your therapist will have had these conversations many times and will find it nothing that unusual!
Once I had to talk to my psychiatrist about ....ahem.....not being able to orgasm on a certain medication I couldn't even get the words out but he picked up right away and just came out and asked "Do you have difficulty in reaching orgasm on this medication?" There! It was done! Since then I have been on different meds with the same side effect and I have absolutely no problem telling him Like I say....once the first hurdle is jumped it gets easier!

Happyone

[Tessar]

I am in the middle of discussing such things with my counsellor (stuff dating back to my childhood, much of it thoughts implanted by my older brothers). Its not easy talking about it. Especially having to admit that as a child I felt much guilt / embarrassment & shame over it. I know now I didnt do anything wrong but it felt like it back then since I didnt understand what my brothers were telling me. I admit its not easy talking about it to her but slowly i am getting there. I feel like "surely she doesnt want to hear this" & I do still feel embarrassed but luckily she does sometimes ask me questions that make it easier. She does pick up on what I am trying to say too. It makes me feel stupid & there are alot more things I need to say & get out of my system but its not easy. So I relate & sympathise with you Missdel. I was, shall we say, a late developer as a teenager & so felt very naive. Even now that feels a bit shame-worthy but I know it actually isnt. Hopefully this'll help you a little :-)

[ElizabethJane]

I think that you have to do it or your therapy will be one dimensional. It isn't going to be easy and you might still talk in code because that is easier. It does rely on a huge amount of trust. Just go for it. You will feel better for it. EJ

[Wolfie]

Hey don't worry, many people including myself, have found this a very awkward, intrusive and humiliating experience with therapists/psycharitrists/psychologists. Please don't feel stupid or silly, or daft - I'm sure that topics relating to sex are discussing alot more frequently in psychological one-to-ones than we realise! Try talking in code, or maybe even writing it down?

[swgrl09]

Please don't feel embarrassed, although I understand it is probably inevitable that you will feel that way. If it helps, I am in school to become a marriage and family therapist and they teach us to expect this to happen and that it is common. I am sure your therapist understands that, and has experienced it before with a client. The reason he is asking why it is embarrassing is just to get an understanding of the difficulties you are having so that he can help you better.

Would seeing a therapist of the same sex be easier?