Fear of losing control

[charm143854]

I have an embarrasing fear that has ruled my life for far too long. I fear being away from a toilet in case i need to go. It means whenever i go out i need to know where i'm going where the toilet is, and if i don't know i don't go out. Even if i do know i still panic incase i need to go before i get to the toilet or if there is a queue.

I go to the toilet a lot during the day just in case i need to go, and it takes me ages to get out of the house because i go to the toilet again and again just in case. I have managed to overcome it and do things sometimes but it comes back again and again. I end up going round and round in my head which in turn upsets my stomach and makes things a whole lot worse!

The problem i have is admitting what my fear is to people around me. How do i tell someone i'm scared in case i wet myself!?

Will i ever overcome or deal with this fear!?

[seren]

OMG, it's like reading my own story, which I am also very embarrassed to talk to anyone about.

I simply cannot be away from a toilet and I'm virtually housebound because of it. Whenever I have a panic attack the first thing I feel is the desperate need to go to the loo. Sometimes when I get back to my house, I don't even need to go anymore but while I'm out I can't differentiate between feeling like I need to go because I'm panicking and actually needing to go. Does that make any sense?

A few months ago I plucked up the courage to go to the supermarket with my mum, my anxiety was not as bad then as it is now. I was feeling fine at first, I went to the toilet a couple of times and went back to where my mum was waiting for me with no worries. But when we were halfway around the store I needed the loo again and on the way there it suddenly hit me how far it was to the toilet and I couldn't get back to my mum who was still waiting for me at the far end of the store because every time I tried I would get about halfway and then have to rush back to the loo. The whole thing ended up with a huge panic attack and an absolutely awful journey home as I was terrified I was going to have an accident in my mum's car!

A while back my mum was having a bbq at her house and invited all the family. There were about 20 people going altogether and I've never had a problem with that sort of thing before but I started worrying that even though there are two toilets in my mum's house, I might need to go when both of them were in use so I didn't go to the bbq.

Unfortunately I can't offer you any help or advice on this as I'm stuck in exactly the same postion as you but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

[Insomniac]

Hi Charm

My anxiety started with toilet trouble like you. When I'm anxious I need to go more and its not just wetting myself that worries me if youknow what I mean. It is hard to talk about, but this is a good place to do it.

It does get easier, honestly. I saw my GP because when I was going to Cornwall with my husband and daughter I went to the toilet about 10 times before leaving. Then we got 5 minutes up the road and I told my hubby I had to go again (in Sainsbury). Took about ten minutes there before I got in the car and I felt sick all the way.

But we made it and though I had difficulty there, the doctor has given me immodium for days when I feel stressed and it reassures me that it will slow things down and I will not have an "accident". It doesn't solve the anxiety altogether, but makes life more manageable. Hope this helps.

Lisa.

[seren]

Hi Lisa,

I know exactly what you mean!

I have a question, do you take the immodium after an attack of diarhea (sp?) starts (as it tells you to do on the pack) or do you just take it in anticipation of an attack? ie. before the attack actually starts?

I'm just asking because I've found them useful in stopping an attack once it has started, but taking them won't stop you from needing to go there and then if you know what I mean. I've thought of taking them in advance but not sure if it's a good idea.

Mel

(sorry if this is TMI!)

[Insomniac]

Hi Mel,

Not problem about TMI. (lol) We NEED to talk about stuff, and sometimes this is a good place cos you don't need to blush talking to someone face to face.

My GP is great... she says immodium is fine and won't do any harm. She knows some patients who take it often to get out of the house. I do take it when I know I'm going to travel. About half an hour before I am due to leave, or if I start to feel the stress coming before that I take one straight away. Speak to your GP to make sure its ok. But personally I do find it really helps.

Lisa.

[stoppedclock]

Hi
i've just joined this site coz i'm having exactly the same problem as you. I understand exactly how you feel and have just posted a topic myself saying the same things. I'm as lost as you are but i'll let you know if anyone gives me any helpful advice.

Best of luck,
Nicola. xx