depersonalisation / deralisation (disocciation) recoverer

[omaghpanic]

Hi there after a long battle with disocciation, i'm happy to say im fully recovered (although still have some minor anxiety issues which will probably never fully go away). I'm at a stage where i'm able to come back to this site, which began to help me in the first place. Just here to help re-assure everyone that you will get better - i had an 8 year battle with this (a long number of years before i knew what was wrong with me), so if i can get better, anyone can.

[nomorepanic]

Hi omaghpanic

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[vitabelle]

hi I would really like to talk to you about this if that would be ok?

[omaghpanic]

fire away

[vitabelle]

I am really straggling with my dp/dr and im at the point where I feel like this will never go away and I don't know what to do. I suffer anxiety and depression but the most scary thing is not feeling real. I feel like I am not part of this world and im scared I am going to forget who I am and who people are. all my loved ones look unfamiliar to me. I feel so alone. I have had this on and off for 9 years but unfortunately a few months ago it became constant. it has taken over my life, I cant go out, I cant work or socialise. im at my witts end. I have recently started meds and also CBT Im hoping these combined will help but im having trouble motivating myself because im so hopeless. how do I start this process? it constantly on my mind. thanks

[omaghpanic]

first thing i can say to you is, and i know this may sound ridiculous, but dont worry, you will get better. I was like you, the feelings of unreality came and went, for years, then became gradually stronger, until they were there permanently, unfortunantly they were there permanently for around 5 yrs before i started doing anything about it, which was completely stupid as this i was over the edge. I hope you dont mind, but i checked some of your posts, about previous issues, and you are exactly like me, someone who worries about aches and pains.

I was at the stage no one in my family seemed familiar, everything in my life was if i was looking through a strangers eyes, looking at myself, my hands, my reflection in the mirror, convincing myself that things weren't real. I ended up i couldnt drive, stopped working and locked myself in my room for ages. Firstly, in my own personal experience once i stopped communicating with the outside world is when i started to spiral. If you can, you have to try and get back out. This was the hardest thing i had to do. even if its going to the shop and buying a packet of chewing gum do it. when i was out i was obsessed that everyone was looking at me, thinking, look at him, he's crazy. I had to convince myself that this wasnt the case, even though my mind was telling me it was. What you have to do, and this is the most important thing you will ever do, is accept that this is going to take a while. Don't put a time limit on it. This is the MOST important thing. Once you accept that you WILL get better, and that it WILL take time, the healing process will begin. I would wake up each morning thinking, am i feeling better? then i would realise i was just the same. As i said in another quote, what i started to do and i would strongly advise you to do, is write down how you are feeling today. Put that note in a drawer, and i know this is sooo hard to do, but say, right. TODAY THIS STOPS - now dont get me wrong, but it wont stop today or tomorrow, but you are going to have to try. Now in a months time, write down how you are feeling again, dont look at last months note. Keep doing this for 4 months, and you will see an improvement, now it may only be slight, but it will show the recovery, keep repeating this process throughout your recovery period, then read each note back. Now i know this may seem like an eternity, but this is what i had to do. ACCEPT TODAY THAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET BETTETR, BUT IT IS GOING TO TAKE TIME. Another thing i am going to tell you to do, which is going to be very hard, is top researching on the internet aches, pains, and health issues, including your dissociation, the only site you should look at is this one. I was exactly the same, i thought i was dieing, i thought i had cancer, i thought all sorts of things were happening to me, but it was the anxiety. You need to stop looking at the internet about these things. It only gives your mind more fuel to play tricks on you. I started reading, listening to uplifiting music, walking to the shop, any thing, to try and break the cycle. Your brain may only stop thinking about things for one second, but over time the seconds increase, and you begin to think less about what disocciation. Your meds and CBT will help you, but it will TAKE TIME. I promise you, you will get better, trust me, if i can, you can. anyway take this as your starting point. and AGAIN, YOU WILL GET BETTER. I hope this will begin to help your recovery process. Stephen

[vitabelle]

thank you very much for your advice. its great and makes me feel positive about this.

it is so true what you said about the health anxiety , every little ache and pain is a worry.

I try so hard to make myself go to the shops etc, its so horrible as everything looks so surreal, I cannot go on my own yet but I am working my way up to it. I feel nowhere near ready to go to back to work yet, I have to focus on getting better.

I will definitely try what you said about writing down how I feel I think writing your feelings down is very helpful.


im so happy for you that you are feeling better and I have to say in the nicest way possible its so nice to read that someone knows exactly how I feel, otherwise I will believe those thoughts I have that I am going crazy. its so hard to stop thinking about it and I feel like in a way I have a voice I my head talking to me about it all the time! I cant block It out, from the second I wake up I think about it. im physically and mentally exhausted.

I am going to save what you wrote so I can read it again.

thank you so much x

[shadowstriker]

I suffered from deal realisation from smoking weed for a long while I kept thinking I was going to die ect.. it's your minds way of blocking outside problems because you are under stress but because of that it makes you feel more stressed feeling unreal the only way to manage it is to carry on as normal the more you fight it the deeper you get and work yourself up because it won't stop

---------- Post added at 17:17 ---------- Previous post was at 17:16 ----------

It's crazy to think that some people like to smoke weed and like feeling derealisation