Does this sound silly?

[Col]

Drstock, funny your thread - in the non-funny sense, may I add!

LEAST YOU QUALIFIED.........
I'm such a strong person always the one everyone comes to and to such an extent I think people see me as immortal or something , like I can't hurt or I'm never affected by things.

After years of family stress read my posts if interested BUT it was the PGCE course that finished me off! So sorry but that was the icing on the cake , 2 little kids newly bought house , course work coming out of my ears and placement miles away from where I live, AWFUL AWFUL, post graduate courses should cater for post graduates, in that your a little older and therefore may have baggage but it was more than full time because we were at uni all week , all day & then course work course work then preparation for placement and then physically going on placement.

This was academic year 2010/11 sooooo am I qualified ????NO - breakdown of that February and only now have I got back into some kind of teacher related role as a volunteer ( reference purposes ) for a charity based exclusion center for 14-16 year olds.

My career is ruined , I trained in bioscience and got 1.2 % of a first. Gutted a young mum struggling to gain a degree , which I did and then to finally try and make a career for myself and at the last hurdle to fall, just awful, soul destroying , I'm soooo ambitious BUT for the sake of my kids & myself I had no choice other than to leave the course , half way through!!! Money situation with a new house - dire!!!!! The stress couldn't get benefits, awful awful!

Don't know what the future holds I'm 31, bit of a funny age young BUT older.
Never ever had panic attacks before in my entire life & now I know how bad these things are, gosh I never knew they could destroy people's lives.

Take good care of yourself

[drstock]

Yeh thanks, but i am sick of waiting to get better, i cant apply for jobs because realistically the anxiety and depression prevent me from doing anything. Its been 4 months now, i did get a job teaching law but lasted 1 day , i woke with the worse panic ever, usually i am pretty confident. At moment i am stuck in house waiting to get better.

[Tessie28]

You will get there!

[Annie0904]

You will get there!

It takes time to heal but you will. Stop trying to fight it and accept it, once you can accept the anxiety you will then be able to control it

[Arnie365]

Hi Drstock

no it doesnt sound silly at all. I was very happy go lucky, never really got stressed or anxious about anything. Very mentally strong until one day wham! Full on panic attack brought on by smoking something I shouldnt (first and last time!) and thought I was having a heart attack.

Its traumatised me and brought lots of anxiety up to the surface that im only now starting to get a handle on with meds and therapy. Amazing whats going on in our sub conscious even when we dont feel anxious and any thing can trigger it coming out.

Im going to get to the root of my problem which I think is an underlying fear of death ive picked up from childhood and tackle it like that. I think we all need to dig really deep to get to the bootm of whats lurking in the sub conscious and expose it for what it really is.....just thoughts!

[Tessie28]

It takes ups and downs. Last night and in the night I had great thoughts - cancel the doc's appointment much better etc. Wake up oh no don't do that! I think it is hard whatever stage you are at. Funny what Arnie said about what started him off. At least you know what to blame Arnie!!! For me it started with post natal depression some 28 years ago now. Only graduated to anxiety in 2004 following a broken wrist and a failed intubation. Now who knows? But it is not this bad all the time and I haven't had a panic attack in a long time.
Hopefully 2013 will bring us all some help, and let#s keep helping oneanother!

---------- Post added at 10:35 ---------- Previous post was at 10:34 ----------

that was let's

[Arnie365]

Hi Tessie

yes in a way it is good that I know but at the same time because it was an actual physical reaction to something I did, it planted the seed that i had done some serious damage to my heart at the same time. I really struggled with this and in a way kept thinking I wish it had just come on out of the blue and I could have accepted it easier. But now I can see if this had happened Id be thinking what the hells wrong with me and probably jumping from one illness to the next. Instead mine is solely focussed on my heart as are my symptoms i.e. chest pains

Bloody anxiety!!!

[Tessie28]

Yep Arnie,
in the space of the last hour I've rattled between 'yes I'm fine' and 'what if I did something with this razor?' [blunt as hell of course even if it wasn't all thoughts!!!!!!!!!]. I think panic brings health worries to so many people. I once had a whole body scan [cost a bit, doc didn't approve]. However, it has to be said that the positives that came out of it at the time helped me mentally. Last month I finished a 'stress control' course - done with the NHS. A lot of the stuff I knew of course but it did give me some ideas and insights.
Keep going! Tessie