Dad problems T_T

[Rennie1989]

Hiya

I visited my Nan yesterday as I was alone and I hadn't seen her in ages. After we had Sunday Roast I was talking to my Nan, the subject of my father was brought up. My grandparents have never really liked my Dad, I could never understand why when I was little but now I can. He has a short fuse and has no coping skills. Well my uncles (Nan's sons) went to visit my parents one day (by the way, my Mum is my Nan's daughter) and my Mum passed my Dad the remote for the TV and then said "No you stupid person the other one, are you thick?" one of my uncles wanted to hit him but his brother stopped him. Is anyone was thick it would be my Dad, my Mum is a highly qualifide nurse and has alot of qualifications.

My Dad has never been a good person, we fall out all the time and he treats my Mum quite bad. He expects her to come home from work and start the dinner almost every night and her job is very demanding. When she gets something wrong he makes a huge fuss out of it and it stresses her out.

What my Nan said has shocked me, I kind of thought my Dad loved my Mum, how can he when he talks to her like this? I feel physically sick (and that is not because of my Sunday Roast) and ill.

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Today I went to visit my boyfriend, when I got the bus back the weather turned grim so my Mum picked me up when I arrived. As she drove me home she told me that Dad has stopped my pocet money being transfered to ym bank account and that I need to get a job. Now, I've tried and tried to get a job but none of these places I've applied for reply to my CV's!! So the fact that I have no money coming in AND him not telling me himself has annoyed me alot.

I'm so annoyed, I've been wanting to cry but wanted to keep myself strong as I don't want my Mum to know that this is bothering me so much. I want to move out as I can never keep a good relationship with my Dad for more then a month, since I was 13. It's also making me feel depressed!

I need help and advice.

BTW: My Dad isn't a person I can approach easily.

AKA Scooter Girl

[clickaway]

Jadey,

Please don't take the "being thick" episode get to you. I know its not nice to hear or indeed be on the receiving end of, but many people say this in anger. It doesn't necessarily mean that he thinks your mum *is* thick. You know how intelligent your mum is, so remind her of that.
Unfortunately, many of us get caught up in such situations and we have to try and accept the situation as best we can.

Regarding the job and money, can you confront your Dad over this? I know it's not easy for many people at your age, but if you approach the problem in the right way with him, maybe he will respect you for it. Be reasonable with him and explain your side. And try to understand some of his.

If you are old enough to get a job, I think you are old enough to stand up to him.

Take Care,


Ray


http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[Rennie1989]

He wasn't angry, my uncles told my Nan that he was showing off as he always does when people are over, he even gets drunk and it's annoying because I'm shoved out of the way in the dark in parties. I keep telling my Mum how proud I am of her, she was on the TV a while back about obesity, she's won awards etc.

He is a scary man to approach and I am small and timid, he'll just shout at me or have an hour debate saying why I am wrong and he is right, I just do what my Nan says and stay out of his way like go out to see friends or stay in my room on the computer.

Thanks for the message.

AKA Scooter Girl