Hi,
I have not posted on NMP for a while as i thought i was a bit better and i have added my opinions to some posts as i am bit older and been through this before and hopefully learnt something from it.
I am still having ups and down days from this latest episode of anxiety and depression and i am starting my 4th week on medication and still feeling rough, i take citalopram 20 mg and 50g trazodone at night but my insomnia still manages to come back and have had some poor nights sleep even with following all the rules ie sleep hygiene, dosages etc. I am tempted to take extra trazodone at night to help me sleep but i know the side effects and habit forming can be dangerous. During the day i am alright and by evening i am quite happy but then the cycle of insomnia and rough mornings comes back and i go through it all again!. I also have OCD, memory problems which annoy me and have been on sick leave from work which i doubt i will be able to go back to with all these recurring mental health issues the stress of my job makes them worse and some physical health problems as well.
I am going to the hospital on monday and then seeing therapist(CPN) on tuesday so here is hoping, i know there is light at the end of the tunnel but the long nights and having to rely on family for support when really i should be helping them at my age(40) is difficult. All i want is to have a decent job, nice house and to be happily married is that too much to ask for.
Anyway rant over and maybe my patience is running thin!. Any comments or advice would be appreciated.
Take Care
BOB
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