Back to work! Scared!

[Evedawn]

I thought I was only due back 29th but realised now it is 22nd. Next week. Suddenly I'm panicking - seriously - as not ready! It has been 7 weeks now. I had already decided to leave my current job but not resigned )as that job is a part of my depression cause ) but am not yet ready to go out and seek
Something else! I wanted a wee bit extra time to getting head together! I have an appt with psych Monday to ask her to book me off longer but afraid she won't as last week she said I must "think about getting back to work" . I understand I can't not work forever but I think it's too soon for me!!!

[Pigeon]

I can completely understand that Evedawn. I am going to have to make that decision soon too and I'm terrified. Work's not the cause of my depression but it is a factor. Can you ask for a phased return or for your duties to be resrticted to things you can cope with?

Perhaps a quick visit to meet your colleagues, or a chat with your boss on the phone will help? Do they know why you are so upset at work? Whatever the cuase is it needs sorting before you can go back.

What I've found is that although certain situations seem scary, they're not usually as bad once you do them. I'm sure it ill be the same for you?

[Jen Sat]

Hi EveDawn, I agree with Pigeon about the phased return. If you could do it over a few weeks, starting off with a few hours, working up to 1/2 days. I think when you have been off for a while you have to have to have a return to work meeting to discuss how your employer can help you. So only agree to what is realistic for you as you dont want to put any more pressure on yourself. I know how daunting it is to go back when you have been off, but you are going to have to face it at some point. Is it the fear of going back that you are not ready for or do you genuinely still feel you cannot function in the workplace? Good luck hun.

[Evedawn]

Thanks both of you. Pigeon work is not the "only" reason for my depression but like you it is a definate factor (kinda the final straw!!!) yeah Jen - I know the fear is sometimes worse than the event and although I feel alot better honestly believe being back in that environment will lead to a downward spiral fairly quickly! :( yeah I need to see occy heAlth before I go back but I never want to set foot in that workplace again.

[Pigeon]

My final straw was something else after a long period of stress and pressure at work, so not quite the same as you.
I'm assuming you spoke to your psychiatrist and told them what the work problems are? Did they offer any advice to sort it?

PM me if you want to talk about it

[Evedawn]

Well I have another psych appt today and I'm hoping she will still book me off (last week she said I need to think bout going back to work) I DO feel alot better but simply can't go back to that particular place! I would even say I'm ready to work but ... Not there:( lots of reasons why. Any advice onwhat to say to psych to ask her to pleeeeeeeaase not send be back there? Today I have am interview at agency for temp work but
.... Who knows if that is the best for me. I dont know anything anymore! :(

[June83]

I would also ask for the phased return. I too am going back tomorrow after 6 weeks off - straight into a HR meeting to decide on my phased return. The Occy Health doctor is advising half time until 30th Jan, then three quarter time until 6th Feb then hopefully back to full time.

It is strange I am both dreading and looking forward to going back. Work has been a major factor of my depression/anxiety but it is a necessary evil. I have no choice but to attend! I may have decided to leave, and I am actively retraining, but I see my recent sick leave as a major problem for getting another job so I am steeling myself for another year or two of hopefully sick free time before looking to move on (again the retraining is helping!). These last 6 weeks have been very useful for focusing on what matters. I am returning to work vowing not to care about the stupid things which used to get me stressed out.

[Evedawn]

Thank you all for advice. This forum has been a godsend as no one else truly gets how I feel. I don't tend to speak of my emotions to many - evey husband. On a good note the psych booked me off another 2 weeks - without me asking . I do feel ready to work but my "resilience"(her word) is still so low.