Hi everyone

I suffer really bad health anxiety and have done for many years, in honesty it started way back when I was around 8 or 9 years old. I have noticed that the trigger for my Health Anxiety is when a death within the family occurs, at least that is what I think it is.

Anyway I am that bad that I hate with a passion going to a doctor for anything, I am a major Cancer phobic, so regardless of what issue I may be having I always avoid going to see the GP for fear of the worst. This also applies with smear tests. The test itself is not the issue, its the results that are.

I went 9 years before having one done and convinced myself that I had Cervical Cancer I went in the end because I was having abnormal bleeding, periods all over the place, so bit the bullet and went for it, the smear came back clear, and the relief was immense.

I was then put on Citalopram, and I LOVE these, they may not agree with all, but they really did help me. I was on these for nearly 9 years.

Anyway time goes on, it is now 6 years since my last smear, and low and behold I am having longer periods (normally 5 days, now lasting 11) if I include the spotting before it finally finishes. My moods are all over the place, angry, crying I am literally up and down like a yo-yo, and sleep is impossible, I am not sleeping until at least 4am. My breasts are so tender (something I have never suffered from even when due for a period) and this has been going on now for 10 months, so I finally decided this is stupid and went to the doctors.

I had a smear test done yesterday which I am proud of myself for doing, the doctors couldnt get me in till next week, so I went to the family planning and got it done earlier.

I am also having blood tests to check for hypothyroidism, as the doctor thinks thats worth checking out.

I got myself into such a state over it all now that I have convinced myself that I have invasive Cervical Cancer, even though it could easily be hormone related or even perimenopause.

Not looking for any kind of diagnosis from anyone here, just wondered if anyone else been in the same or similar position.

I asked while having the smear done if it looked ok up there LOL and she said it looked fine, after using Google (I know, I know) I do know that if I had invasive cervical cancer that had started to spread that it would have been visible to her naked eye, the fact that she said it looks fine should offer reassurance, but of course with HA it doesnt, and have the dreaded two week wait now for results.

I am on the brink of driving my husband mad I think, I feel so sorry for him putting up with my constant, "do you think I have cancer" etc etc, I am even driving myself nuts LOL.

I really need to get myself back on some sort of medication for the Anxiety, this I realise now, silly me thought I could take it on by myself, but I am going to ring the gp and see if she can prescribe me something.